watching: Vengeance (Thai movie)
mood: Just woke up from nap
listening to: Joe Hisashi - Summer

Today is unbelievable. I was actually watching a very sad movie when this unbelievable thingy happened. Because the movie, Helen the Baby Fox, was featuring some damn adorable baby fox I can't be bothered with what my mum was saying as she saw black stuff on the balcony. I told her that they were not there when I woke up this morning and they became a mystery to us. And of course, I don't care because I was absolutely glued to the tv.

When there was some advertisement, I went out to the balcony to inspect and I initially saw a big 'beetle' as big as my palm hanging on the ceiling. So I told my mum what I saw and we both felt girlie. Oh well, it is unbelievable to see such big 'beetle' in urban area. And then we were trying to think of some stupid strategem to get rid of it. So we ended up thinking my sister will be the best person to do it.

When she came home, I was so excited to inform our finding. I was telling her that how you wonder that that is no ladybug, beetle or a like insects around our house and you would be surprised to see a bug as a big as our palm in our balcony. Of couse, she was damn excited until she was at the balcony. I was surprised to see her reaction.

My sis: Wah... so big ...
Me: Big leh.. some more you say here got no ladybug bla bla
My sis: It's a bat la.
Me: Huh???
My sis: Can't you see its eyes and ears?

So I went to the balcony to have a closer look but I just screamed because my face touched the sliding door of the balcony. I felt so stupid. Can you imagine this tough renaye who has a brown belt in karate and love violence screamed just because her face touched the sliding door not because of the bat?

The bat is still hanging on the ceiling and we seriously got no idea of getting rid it. My mum wanted to call the firemen and I thought this is too petty a case. It's not like there's a snake wandering in my house. That's a different case. Or stuff in a plastic bag and throw in the rubbish bin. This time I really shrieked of the idea. I just could not imagine stuffing a living thing in a plastic bag and dump it. What is the difference of stuffing a baby in a plastic bag? Hey that thing is quite big you know. I just feel eerie of the idea. I'm even against of the idea of stuffing a rat/mouse in the rubbish bin. Hell yea, my friend did this in the hostel and she even wanted to pour hot water on it.

I just feel that animals also have the right to live in this world and they should not receive that kind of treatment. Imagine ourselves in their shoe. Oh well .... I guess we just let the bat flies on its own. If not, I think I will intervene and don't ask for my plan.

What a day.

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Pissed off is the word I would describe my mood now. I mean it's just only 9 am now and I'm already pissed off. Terribly pissed off by my mum. Cross fingers that I could survive in the office without burning or charring my office and everyone in my environment. I'm pretty serious but in the name of HUMAN REVOLUTION, I need to reflect my words and actions in order to improve myself. Arghh .. what a pain in the neck.

I'm pissed off because my mum blurted that I consider her as a pest just because I never asked her along in any outing when I go out with my friends. You know what? That's a myth and reality.

Myth:
I sometimes ask her if she would like to come along with me when jolenesiah and I lepak [hang out] like to bookstore or tonight Busker's Fair. Oh of course, she said "YES" very loudly and then when the day arrives, she changed her mind. Is that my bloody fault? I don't even mind sponsoring her to go to overseas for travelling provided she has to go alone and she said "NO" because she's afraid of going alone. I didn't tell her that I'm willing to fork out some thousands of Ringgit Malaysia for the air ticket if she wants to go somewhere but why should say I it out loud if this is a bliss for me? Again, it's not my bloody fault.

Reality:
I'm a weirdo, eccentric, bla and bla. Basically I don't give a damn of what you name me because I'm a weirdo or an eccentric person with some kind of wacko thinking. But I zen zen [absolutely] dislike the way my mum accused me this morning. But I also cannot blame her because the truth is I don't always invite her to my outings most of the time as I have always wanted to do things in solitary. I have always wanted to do this since I was a kid. *Trust me* If you grew up in my childhood days, you would definitely understand why I am like this today. So I just told her that I like solitary, solitude, loneliness whatever so if you don't like it.. it's your pasal [your own business] and I won't let your words and position to control me. And there she goes exploding like a volcano. Have I said anything wrong? I guess I have... Bwahahahaha. But that's only in the Asian culture context.

Another thing I'm always condemned as a filial daughter in the family which I am so sick to listen to that every now and then. Just because I don't reveal my concern means I don't care about my family? What la ... why are some people so narrow minded?

Although I'm living in the Asian cultural context, I'm not letting anyone superior than me to control over my life , be it my parents, auntie or uncle. I live the way I think it's the best for me: CARPE DIEM. I may sound arrogant but that's not just because I came back from the land of sheeps and exposed to a lot of things in that land. I know that I still have a lot of things to learn but I don't want to be spoon fed or protected. Having said that doesn't mean I don't respect my elders but they also should be more understanding that the world has changed; their experience is valuable for the younger generations to listen but doesn't mean they are considered as 'best paractise' that can be adopted in the present generation's context. 'Best practise' emerges in the absence of best practises.

In short, I live only once and the time I have is short; too many things to do in the too little time context. Because I live only once, I'm the rightful designer of my own live in the surroundings of peer pressure.

Be the change you wish to see
- Mahatma Gandhi -

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watching: Project Runway/Getbackers
listening to: My own inner voice
mood: Boring

Believe me that today is quite boring. I mean at work. Can you imagine that I'm actually watching anime in my office? I mean I did that during lunch time. So don't think that I'm so very unethical. I know when is work and play time. But today is boring because I have finished proofreading. Oh yea, before I finished it, the speech was driving me nuts and I scare my neighbours because they don't know I was talking to who. In fact, I was just reading out loud. Poor my neighbour. Luckily, I have finished because I don't want to go botak [bald].

My baby [my laptop] is back in my arms now with a report just stating that the motherboard is broken. So because of that, I could not surf internet for the past few months. It is stupid. I now have to buy a wireless adapter at Low Yat Plaza and to be frank, I'm freaking lazy to go there. I just want to sleep in on Saturday. Argh .. why on earth the motherboard has to be broken???

I thought of buying a new laptop within this month but it seems I'm receiving some airs of a no-no because I'm told to wait for the release of Windows Vista. I actually don't really care if the laptop i'm buying has windows xp or vistas as long I can go online and download some anime and series. That is all I care. But what do you guys think? I'm now having a headache of what brand to buy. Oh well, I just should kick my a** to Low Yat Plaza for heaven sake instead of procrastinating.

I got nothing to do seriously. Maybe I should just try to finish watching Getbackers. Watching it seems to be like f-o-r-e-v-e-r....

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You guys must be wondering where have I been today.

My workmates and I got a sudden phone call from our senpai [senior] for our help to assist with some things for a seminar. So here we went to the seminar and we spent the whole day at the hotel. One of my workmates and I were in charged of something and we only got one participant registering at our booth. My senpai was indeed sad because if no one made a coverage ... my up up will make noise i guess. But I was happy because the hotel's food was good. At least much much better than our previous seminar's venue.

Today I was sad because there was no leng chai [cute/gorgeous/handsome] at the seminar.. so cannot cuci mata [hmm... seeing something different?]. So sad. But I think the leng chai French guy is also in that hotel. This is what you called the power of dreaming?

From my long expired observation, Malaysians are only friendly towards each other only in some outing because they know people there are V.I.P or P.h.D level. So that's why Malaysians at this kind of events are so eager to exchange name cards. In short, they can't wait to expand their networking. I also don't know why la some Malaysians are so narrow minded to only know Very Ill People and Permanent Head Damage people. Why can't they be friendly when they are not at an event? Why? Because some of us are kiasu [afraid to lose in Hokkien]? Right? Or we are just vain to meet some people that often appear in media. But I don't really care.

All I know is I want to try to know as many people as I can since there are like a few billion of homo sapiens in this world? And I only know dont-know-how-many-percent- of people?

Expand your life people.

*Note = I'm now working for a top secret agent company so please forgive me if I didn't reveal the place of certain events to ensure my secret identity is safe*

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You know what? I truly agree with Mr. Peter Schier, Reader's Digest 2003 and Robert Levin's research and speech about Malaysians: we are not friendly at all. According to Mr. Peter Schier, Malaysia is ranked third last in friendliness. I have to say 'we' though some of us are damn friendly but no choice folks because the research is concluding everyone including the good and bad apples. So sorry folks.

I have not read the Reader's Digest and Robert Levin's research but I would love to if someone could provide their finding because I don't seem to be able to find that on the net. I would really appreciate if someone can do this for me. But the thing is I don't even need to read the reports to prove that Malaysians are unfriendly.

In fact, I can even reiterate and strongly support that Malaysians are damn bloody unfriendly. But please exclude me for I am a rare breed of Malaysia that is damn friendly to friends and strangers. Ask me anything and I will answer your question without having doubts in you for I trust you. No joke. If you ask some of my friends ... they will agree with you for I got to know them through, for example, me as a passenger waiting for a bus...

Me: Hey I like your hair do.
Stranger: Haha... thanks.
Me: Did you cut it yourself?
Stranger: No way! I went to this bla bla saloon to get it done.
Me: Cool ... oh my name is Meow Meow by the way .... Nice to meet you ...
Stranger: I'm Woof Woof.

And that was how I usually get to know people during travelling. And I still keep in touch with some of them. =p But this scenario only happened when I was still in New Zealand as a student. It's just amazing how friendly are the people except if you go to the train stations, where the people there are damn unfriendly because passengers love to harass them by asking them "What time is the next train to and to?" Yup, folks, that's including me. =p

Ok back to Malaysia. So far, I have never succeeded in talking to a stranger. I mean I did talk to strangers but they ended up giving me a look that says " Who the heck are you or How dare you or Don't talk to me, Leper!". No joke, folks. Malaysian people here are damn bloody unfriendly. No offense. You don't have to feel guilty if you know you are not like that. Ok fine. I thought I was approaching people that don't share a similar or rather something in common so fine.

So yesterday I tried a very simple experiment. I was in Mid Valley in the afternoon and I was busy devouring every book in MPH by just looking at them. Because I'm a manga collector, I went to the manga corner and I saw this man holding like 6 [I think more than that] manga and he was picking up almost every manga volume. As I said, I wanted to prove my hypothesis so I approached him like this:

Me: You are really a serious manga collector.
He: [just look at me like I'm a Leper] Yea?
Me: I see. [In my head: Because of you, Malaysians are now deemed as not friendly]

And I just walked off. So my hypothesis is damn right: Malaysians are not friendly. I mean c'm on people I'm just at this manga corner and trying to get to know other manga readers and have I done anything wrong? And what is wrong with those people? I'm not mad but just could not grasp why people are like that?

If you think I'm the only one that thinks like that then you are wrong. I was talking to this Director of something in a University and she totally agrees with me as well that people just close themselves to others, thus creating a wall of communication. The thing is we are not asking people to reveal your bank account or some other personal stuff to us but we just want to get to know you better. Warui ka? [something bad?] That is all we ask.

I came across a quote by Daisaku Ikeda that says that if you are willing to reveal yourself to a person beside you, you never know what can this person do for you especially when you are in dire of help. I agree with this quote because I was in need of help when I was still in NZ. The help I needed is something not all of you guys can understand. Oh well, I was in this supermarket looking at the Asian corner looking for some ingredients and it happened that this guy came to me and asked me if I was very cold because I was wearing my hood and I looked like Kenny in South Park. And I said I wasn't but it's my habit to do that. So we ended up talking and he eventually helped me out to write an example cover letter. Cool ... because we just got to know each other like one hour and I got a favour. And we are still keeping in touch until today.

But I guess it's hard for people to be more open minded. People are now very cautious since the world today is not safer. I guess urbanites are more close minded than the kampung [rural] people when comes to talking to strangers. Innocent? I don't think so. I think it's just that people sometimes think too much.

Oh well, wish Malaysia luck in the Visit Malaysia Tourism 2007 campaign.

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I'm damn tired today because I was wearing some boots since 8.30 am until now. Not only that, I have been walking in that shoe for don't know how many hours in many places in KL alone. I went to an investment seminar then education fair at PWTC follow up by PC fair at KLCC.

The education fair sucks. I thought I could get information that I need and want but i only got one information which is some European scholarship, which is of course better than nothing. I also got to talk to this sort of counsellor which happened to be distributing some dentistry education leaflet. But luckily I answered his question if not I won't know which EU university to look up on the internet. I guess my prayers were answered somehow.

The PC fair sucks as well and I feel like telling off the organizers to have 'one way street' for visitors in the halls. Imagine two forces going against each other and I was squashed. But don't worry about me folks because I was holding an umbrella upside down so you can imagine what happen if people would like to squash me. I was very surprised I was not pickpoketed. This is because I have a friend who told me that she was pickpocketed twice within her holiday back in KL. Funny.... Maybe she has this innocent look where she could be taken advantage. Yes I know I'm very cruel. =p

Although I had a bad day, I received something weird as well. I was thinking of something something... more of dreaming of something something and when I opened a free paper called the Yellow Post and looked at the horoscope of Virgo... it reads

"You are likely to experience the ecstasies of romance as you fall in love this week. However, not rushing into physical intimacy will be good for your relationship. Pay a little attention to improving your physical fitness."

Weird. The horoscope is telling me to stop dreaming of that something something. And I actually wanted to skip the horoscope part because I don't believe but my little inner self is screaming top of its lung to me to read and I did.

Another lesson here is Don't ever ignore your little voice in you.

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