My mother is a clean freak. And that says a lot of things about my growing up. I guess I don't need to go in depth about it eh?

There is one thing I never understand. More of I cannot understand. How can some family not clean their floor for over a month? I have friends telling me that their mother only mops the floor once or twice a month. I cannot believe my ears because did they not notice their feet are black? My mother mops the floor every week. It has to be every week if not my family's feet get itchy. My feet has been itching since yesterday but today's worse because the itchiness climbed to my ankle level. And my mother just didn't mop the floor over 10 days. Are my feet that pampered or it's just an indication that the floor is really damn dirty due to the dust?

If the floor is dirty and how come some people cannot detect? That is why I'm reluctant to enter people's house unless I'm wearing socks. That is because I have a sensitive cleanliness detector on my feet. It's a tradition for my family to wash our feet before entering our own house because of the dust and stickiness we got by walking outside of the house. Don't you all feel that too?

Do you all also apply soap to your feet after applying to your body parts? It's like I'm asking you all whether you all brush your hair comb with soap. I remember friends laughing at me for being 'stupid' for washing my hair comb with a brush and soap. They told me my method is so 'ma fan' (troublesome in Cantonese) [or stupid?] and their method is the easiest: comb the wet hair with the comb under the shower. But can't you see the comb is black?? Try brushing the comb with soap and rinse it under the running tap water and can't you see the water is black in colour?

I just spent some midnight time to sterilise my room floor even though my mum is going to mop the floor tomorrow but my feet can't wait. They have been itching all night. And there is no way for me to scratch it while I'm sleeping. And now the itch stopped. Thank god.

I'm finally able to do my report in peace. Good night.

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Have you came across anyone that could be so in sync with you? Before you could pop out what is on your mind, the person opposite you has just said whatever you wanted to blurt. Yes? Yes... I came across this kind of people before. It is no other than Jolenesiah. Today we were so .. on the same wave length. I was telling my other friend on MSN ebuddy that I was going loco which I said it in Malay: "Sakit jiwa." And coincidentally Jolenesiah replied my message with the same word: Sakit jiwa. How spooky is that. We are physically separated geographically and yet we could read each other's mind online. Owh. Our psychic must be the envy of some people.

Well, I guess you all don't know something about me and Jolenesiah. I know some of you know we both have been friends for over 12 years since high school. Our parents think the reunion of the two of us will scare all the chickens and birds away ... which is impossible since chickens are already dead ... And the last thing you really don't know about is that we both chat with each other everyday from Monday to Sunday from morning as early as 7.30 am to as late as after 12 am, depending whether Jolenesiah's head hits the keyboard or not. Our chat has got no off days. And hell yea. We chat for over 12 hours!!! HAHA.

Thank you to internet for saving us money on chatting!!!

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Some of the comments made by my students in the evalution forms made me very happy. And one of them is "Ms Renee is awesome." It was such a short and sweet statement. I'm now on top of the world.

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I had a great weekend apart from being scolded by boss this morning but the cloudy mood was lightened when my boss was smiling and merrying by afternoon.

My weekend was comprising of working in an event. And somehow ... I just want to laugh. I seriously don't know and understand what do people think of me when they see my appearance. Am I beautiful? Am I cute? Am I pretty? All I know is sometimes guys could just turn their head to me or I could spot them gossip something while stealing glances at me. I tried hard to ignore them but somehow it was just obvious that I'm their conversation topic. And this makes me uncomfortable. And sometimes I don't know if this is something I should be celebrating given in that I'm sure not many girls get this kind of attention. HAHA. But seriously, I thought it would be greater if people just look at me 'normally' not some kind of scrutinizing look.

Ok. Back to my 3 day event. There was this guy, LA, who was one of the organiser staff got an eye on me. I was dutied on the registration counter and he was walking in and out of the entrance the whole day. In short, all organiser staff were damn busy except for the part timers like me. We were not so busy but we still helped out a little. And later I was sent off to the goodies bag counter which was just beside the registration counter. This was where it started - obviously.

It started off in the hot afternon despite of the powerful air-cond; must be because I was busy shifting the goodies I didn't feel cold. I was giving out goodies bags to the conference participants, and there came LA and his buddy at my counter (5 steps away) .. standing right in front of the counter... mumbling something among themselves and his buddy's eyes were searching for something among my counter... and his eyes landed on me. I saw it with my eyes tail, thanks to my karate training. Upon detecting that... I felt like hiding my face away. I hate to be the center of attraction... but I can't because I was serving a participant...

So later I was sitting in the registration counter and LA stood in front of my counter. I was shocked. But he was talking to someone besides me... Phew... But all the part timer guys know that LA and his buddy was checking out each girl, and those girls really reply him ... oh well.. these girls are just much younger than me in maturity. I felt safe sitting with these guys.

The next day he was much more aggressive in his moves. He sat beside me at the registration counter and started a conversation with me. I had no choice but to play along despite knowing his attention. Curiosity kills the cat: I asked him if he wants to know what his birth date says about him and he said yes and sat nearer to me. Oops. But luckily later a bunch of my girl friends came over and told me they want their birthday to be read too. And later he went off and then came back again, on and off. He always somehow sat beside me. He even tried to scoop food for me during buffet lunch but I sternly said NO. And it was quite funny to see how the both of us were stealing glances at each other; I was trying to look if he was trying to look at me because he was sitting opposite me. But somehow I could feel eyes were on me. Later at dinner time, he tried to talk more to me; information digging. And somehow I really have to talk big about myself just to put him off but he was not giving up!!! He even came to my chair just to talk to me.

The final day was just ... HAHAHAHA.... It was a boring day given in all participants have collected their tags from the registratin counter. So we part timers have seriously nothing to do other than chat. I was sitting at the registration counter as usual and tried to space out because I was exhausted. And LA was sitting beside me ... looking at me. I sincerely wish I could just avert my face from his sight. It was so uncomfortable to be looked at. And then suddenly he said "Why don't you smile?" I was just speechless. How the hell am I suppose to reply him? I said "I only smile to my laptop." He looked sad. And then he added "Add me on Facebook la." I replied "If I remember la." He looked at me with some puppy eyes look. I was laughing in my heart.

At night ... it was incredibly fun!!! I was transported to another hotel for the dinner where I helped out in giving out scarves to the participants. He stood right in front of me and initiated some small talks because all participants have to wear either a scarf (ladies) or a Gandhi hat (gentlemen), and he was ranting that I didn't inform him about that. It was actually a crazy night. There were dances with some mixture Bollywood and English songs, and LA and his buddies were dancing like crazy. My friend who was beside me also went to dance. And left me alone on the table with another staff. We just watched people dancing, and I was just shaking my head according to the rhythm. I had my own world of fun. And shortly LA came from behind with his hand on my shoulders and looked down at me with his best shot of smile persuading me to dance but I sweetly said no like 5 times. But later I did dance when I heard Jai Ho, the soundtrack to Slumdog Millionaire movie. So I joined my friend dancing.. he was dancing the 70s dance!!! HAHA. I had fun though I was suck in dancing. Come on, I danced Malay, Indian, Chinese and even modern dance... I just want to dance freestyle....

After the event, I said my goodbyes to LA and his friends with my best smile... and I had a plan: it's playback time. I came home and added him on facebook and texted him "Added you on FB". And I waited for his sms. Waited and waited ...

... and then I found out he has a girlfriend on his Facebook. Cheh. Got girlfriend and still want to check out girls. Cheh!!! No fun. I just thought I could play him back via online. Cheh. Ruined my plans and thank god I found out earlier because I never know if his close buddy reports to his gf... I thank myself for not being flirty throughout that 3 days and thankfully I didn't accept his scoop of rice!!!! Phew .. somehow I just felt relieved.

That is because my policy is I don't play or flirt with guys that is single and not available. Cheh. Stupid. But still I hoped to be looked at as normally as other girls. I don't want to be approached with an intention of tackling. I'm just tired of being chased. I just want to be alone in a way.

And you guys don't go telling me to chase back!

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Wow. First time in my life to see how's a condom look like in front of me other than in advertisements and TV series. The PT Foundation was having a talk on HIV 101 for the people on campus and I went to listen. How sad only 30 people including myself came to listen. That explains why the theater was damn freezing.

The guy demonstrated to the audience on putting the condom to the guy's penis using a banana. And I initially thought one of the speakers would be eating the banana as a snack in the middle of the talk!

You know schools in Malaysia never talk about condom or letting us see what is a condom. Teachers would not even talk about it and they would just laugh behind your back when you ask. And we are talking about adults laughing at some incurable disease which is waiting to get into their bloodstream: HIV/ AIDS.

Oh well, I got two condoms. And I don't know what I am going to do with it. Hmm... replace plastic bags for my umbrella after the rain? Perhaps.

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