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Recently, I have been indulging myself with Starbuck's latest flavour called Dark Berry Mocha. I like the taste. I have been drinking it like 3 times last month. Once paid by friend and some by myself and I think the last time was self-sponsored too. But the taste is good! And I was thinking to myself that I might be able to fill up my Starbucks card to get a free drink before September! I don't mind paying for the high price since that is the only thing I'm pampering myself with nowadays!

But yikes! I didn't know Starbucks is not applying the true values of fair trade and uses very aggressive techniques that have wiped out a few of their competitors for good! And I didn't know they also used inmate labour to lower down their production cost. And they are against unionization. Oh well, fair trade is an alternative answer to trading in the capitalist world. Fair trade is existed with a mission to look after social justice which capitalism has failed in this area. This alternative is to enable the low strata of people such as farmers to enjoy benefits of their own trade. And many more explanation.

Aiya! There goes my free mocha!

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I know that any kind of information is accessible to many in this era, but I don't understand why do some people leak out information on sex videos and such to the public. It's not because I find it disgusting whatsoever reason, it's just I don't understand. What are all these leakers trying to prove? That you can? Can what? At the end of the day, what do yo gain?

The best part which I don't understand is so what if you get to see how some people other than you having sex? What's so different than yours? Sex is much more easy access than getting a mercedes? I don't know. Just don't understan why some people get so hype about this. So what if your sex videos got leak into the internet? It's actually none of the viewers business but I don't know why the video victims need to go to court and such and become an overnight sensation. And I don't understand why newspaper and whatever media would say 'get famous for all the wrong reason.' As I said earlier, it's no big deal. It's like me getting a cat, why no paparazi at my front door?

It's just too much of this scandal that make me sick. Wasting paper to print all those news....

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It seems like I'm never bored with death topic ha! Thanks for the replied I got from my first part of my own death prediction in Date of Death. I'll be positive mnded and not bothered by this topic!

But to be frank, I never ever thought of making part 2. However, all of a sudden my vocal teacher decided to give me a palm reading, today, so we both just chatted about people's destiny from their birthdates instead of having class. Yea, my class ended up to be some supernatural talk. So she did give me a reading when her 'antenna' picked up some readings on me. She studied my palm and told me many things. One of them is death, which I told her I have known of my death prediction. What add salt to the wound, she could even gave me my expiry date, which I'm not going to share here. I was calm upon hearing that, but again, it struck me as what do you if you know when you are going to die? A friend asked me this afternoon does knowing your future circumstances change your present behaviour? But my teacher just told me to live every minute. I would achieve what I wanted but I won't live long to enjoy the benefits. Oh, don't worry, I'm not saying I am being controlled by these predictions, but it's just I have known that a long time. That is because I have seen it in my own visions. Damn why not lotto numbers?

Enough of the morbid topic. Now is the interesting part: love life. My teacher said I have passed my marriageable age. Yes yes, I know some of you went gag. I also don't understand this part because she said my marriageable age as between 15-18!!! Aiya!! I was still in high school!! That is weird. And she added that if I were to married at this age, it won't be because of love. Ah. Not interesting because I want to marry a superstar! Right, renaye, please write that in your dream log.

The final part of the reading was quite interesting. Have you heard of old soul? If you have read Lisa Jane Smith books, she did mentioned about old souls, which means souls that have been reincarnated several times. She said I was one. And because of that, I was able to see spirits, because they might know me. But do they need to scare the shit out of me at times? And my teacher said the most eerie thing to me after that. She simply said I got something looking over me, something like guardian angel. If yes, I now could understand why some clairvoyants said that they are able to foresee the future becaus they got a guardian angel. But the most most eerie thing she said was ... she felt EERIE holding my palms to do the reading. She felt a tingling sensation while doing my reading because of the something surrounding me.

I don't think I can sleep now. Can you?

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It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
Ir spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me?

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the move it makes

But ir gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now...? Hold me now, My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me?

I'm never a fan of Olivia Lufkin despite liking a whispery, light soprano voice, which enhances any haunting songs, but this is exceptional simply because two things of this song attracted me. First is its beginning: an echo rippling tune accompany by piano makes me curious to know more of this song. Second is its lyrics. The lyrics are heartbroken and I find it simple to grasp and empathy.

To be frank, this is the slowest tempo music I have ever heard Olivia singing, as she often sings rock music. The other slow music she sang was A Little Pain, a soundtrack to the same anime of this soundtrack: Nana, which is also one my favourites. Even though this song is slow and somehow soothing, which is really my cup of tea, I find this song is not sang hauntingly enough. Imagine this song is sang with the same technique as My Immortal by Evanescence... would you think this song would have more sadness impact on the listeners? Please read this with an open mind that I'm not criticizing Olvia's singing whatsoever. I can feel her emotions in the song and I know this song is not easy to sing, because it needs a lot of emotions. I love this song as it is, but I was talking on improvement, or alternative way of singing it.

By listening to this song, I felt myself come to a standstill and just got attracted to this dreamily yet mild haunting soft voice.

Overall, this song is suitable to listen at all time, whether or not you are in a happy or emo mood. Why not? It is such a great music. Nana anime has such great soundtracks after Full Moon wo Sagashite.

[Sorry for double posting the lyrics because I thought you would be able to read the lyrics along with my comments without glueing your eyes only to the youtube video. Just making your multitasking more effcient. :)]

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