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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2016:

1. The magician's land - Lev Grossman
2. The Rest Falls Away - Colleen Gleason
3. Wither - Lauren Destefano
4. Fever - Lauren Destefano
5. Sever - Lauren Destefano
6. High Stakes - Dick Francis
7. Kau kata dadaku adalah sebuah sajak - Finn Anuar
Between Hell and Tranquility
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My ear hurts. So are my eyes. Concomitant so is my brain. But should not be the brain hurt the most before the ear and eyes? Who cares? My soul is always boiling to the max. No matter how I try to soothe myself, I ended up boiling and boiling. Why not? When the people you mix with from 9 am to 5 pm for five days a week keep on speaking to you in broken english. Imagine you are slap in the face for years. It drives me crazy!!! I used to tell myself "It's ok because they don't know the correction." So what after correcting for these 2 years? They still can't even string simple sentences. They keep translate directly from Malay into English. I don't know whether they don't LIKE or KNOW the EXISTENCE of HAVE but they never use it. NEVER. They always say instead "I NOT UNDERSTAND" and you can think the rest. I told my colleagues many times. I'm exhausted from repeating. If you think that is because English is my mother tongue and not theirs, then they need to screw their own brain. Malay is not my mother tongue and yet I could score A. Chinese should be my mother tongue but I'm illiterate and yet I could score A in college. Ok fair enough to say I can speak Chinese so learning how to write is no big deal. But I also can score A for my Japanese in reading and writing. So what is wrong with you guys? Why the hell do you read English books? And you all deal with English documents everyday. We have tonnes of journal in our office library. English cannot be improved? That's not an excuse! Don't say "Because I'm OLD my brain is not functioning." Then why are you working? If you are so old, then retire la. And that's not an EXCUSE. Can't they stop giving themselves excuse? I'm sick of listening to it. All I'm asking is to make simple sentences with HAVE. And that's the pinch of salt in the whole ocean.

And if you think my English is good, let me be frank here. My English is very poor before I entered college. To be frank, I didn't even know when to use plural and singular. My sentences are haphazard that I have to teach myself English basic and grammar. I read the sentences in my text book and make notes of the sentences development and then revise and then ask my English lecturer for help. And if I could do it in the first semester, where the hell are you all mucking for these two years?

C'on. SPARE ME. I'm still young and I have no intention of dying as a young girl. And to hell, you corrupted people!

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Save Him Save the World
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Safeguarding the earth is never easier than this; save the earth within the click of the mouse. Please vote for my friend, Mervin, in the Nescafe Kickstart Competition where he will be competing with other 100 participants for RM10,000 as capital setup.



Mervin has submitted a business proposal to a competition where the business is about recycling food waste into fertiliser. Again, please vote for Mervin as it is the only green business proposal available [I know there's another similar one but I was leaning on credibility] in the competition. And by just clicking the Vote button you are already doing yourself and your generations in having a healthier, longer life span.

Thank you!

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Youth! Come here!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Ok just to note from my previous entry: doctor reported that there is nothing wrong with my gastritis. It is some work of my intestines that pushed some unwanted wind into my gastritis area, which causes my gastric area known as "collateral damage". Strict diet is toast bread/ plain porridge or some coffee. As expected, renaye didn't follow the advise closely because she ended up eating some noodle [which is a HUGE no no from doctor] because she simply has no choice when two women were saying "OMG what are we going to eat then?!" She was forced to compromise. Which resulted her becoming sicker today: she's having nausea and some her stomach feeling like 'expanded' but please worry free as she is not in any stage of pregnancy.

Though she is sick, she attended a youth gathering calld Youth '09. Prior to that, she had breakfast with her friend, supposedly, at 8.30 am but she went there at 9 am. And now it hit her why this friend is organizing a group of friends to go because he had sort of pledge of bringing 50 people in his entourage to the gathering but I guess he failed since his two members [me and another newly made friend] went astray. The group was just too big and we don't want to wait. So went ahead, first.

I got a goodie bag at the entrance because I had a member pass. In the goodie bag was a can of malt drink which tastes weird, bodyshop facial wash for men, a perfume for female, and some stickers and papers, and a pen. Right. That is a goodie bag.

We walked over from counter to counter, from survey to drinks to hiring companies to some outbound internship organizations. There were also some booths selling their own products. Some were friendly and engaging some were just looking at you with sad eyes. And some were just not interested to do your business. Yes. I was at this booth selling indigenous peope's handicraft and was enquiring if they have any catalogue on their products because she keeps on shoo-ing away people's enquiries with "we are not a NGO, we are not business..." OK. I picked up the message so I just say "You got any catalogue?" since you want to be efficient? But she gave me the same answer. Yes I understand you are not a business!!! But what do you have for sale other than you have in the booth?! Then later I read their pamplet that potential customers would never know what products they have because it's not fixed what products the indigenous people will produce since the materials they used are diminishing. Fine. I finally got my answer.

Next, we went to meet up with our group in another hall where the futsal is. Pretty surprising there are lots of vintage/ retro clothes for sale but I just don't know why! Poor my guy friend who got nothing to look at since they are catered to female. As the group were heading for lunch, my friend and I went over to another stage to look at the ongoing cosplay competition, which somethin we looked forward too. But unfortunately, it sucks because the emcee is a jerk. He is not professional because he did not respect the characters being cosplayed, not mentioning the characters created by the mangaka. He is so making himself stupid that he made fun that manga is something that you can eat after one of the judges commented that he likes the character because it was from his favourite manga. The participant was kind enough to rectify manga as in comics in japanese so it's not edible. Not only that, he even thanked a cosplayer for picking up his 'rubbish' when it was just one of the props on the floor. He was just simply having fun making fun of the cosplayers, which was an unpleasant sight and hearing for many of us.

And we just moved on to lunch. I was quite disappointed with this year's participants. It was not as much as last year where I had lots of goodies and interesting information leaflets. There were nothing much to see and receive in terms of information. Last year had some booths on entrepreneurship know-how but not this year. Lots of entertainments on the itinerary but physically not so. Today's event will be described, in my own words, interesting but forgettable.

Now renaye is going to visit doctor for the second time tomorrow morning.

Good night.

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Without Warning
Thursday. 1.8.09 10:56 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Reflection for 07, 08, 09
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Wind Chime
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
ting-a-ling
the wind chime whispers
the boy clasps his hand ----
wishes silently


Jolene and I thought this version would be better. And I'm going to play around with this poem. It sounded lovely to me but it is not because the feelings I made this poem is borne from reading a war journal and reading the news on the Israeli's genocide (whatever you call it). And if you are using firefox, you would be able to see a wind chime on your right. In feng shui, hanging wind chime in your house is to promote peace and harmony. Inside me now is a gamut of emotions that are beyond descriptions.

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