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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2017:

1. Angelopolis - Danielle Trussoni
2. The Magicians - Lev Grossman
3. The Magic Circle - Jenny Davidson
4. Memories - Lang Leav
Criminalise war, people
Monday. 2.5.07 10.16 p.m.
I attended Tun Dr. Mahathir's war and crime conference and exhibition. The speeches and video were an eye opener for me though I'm aware of the consequences of war and effects of nuclear weapons. But this time, the speeches were inspiring and full of vigour of people that wanted changes in the world; the strong desire to have peace; the strong desire to have absolute freedom; the strong desire and determination to live in a world that's free of global conquest by the current superpower. I was inspired by their speeches. My heart was touched by the video I have seen today; the effects nuclear weapon that took their toll on children; how Iraqis were tortured in their prison. The pictures were disgusting but I cannot escape from the fact that they happened. I cannot console myself that 'Thank God, it didn't happen to me' but it keeps on bugging me to think of what I can do as an individual that is so small in the world that I could just be flattened just like an ant being stampede by elephants. What can I do to maintain peace in my community? This is something critical. We all need to address..

Another scary thing that we all participants discover during the conference was we all are exposed to nuclear radiation. Yes, we all are now breathing in nuclear particles. One of the speakers, a Geoscientist, explained this to us. We are horrified but what can we do? It is already too late. Even World Health Organization acknolwedge that we all are inhaling nuclear particles. This is a fact that we all don't want to know, much less being slap by the fact to our face. My heart cried silently when I see the pictures of children being exposed to nuclear radiation. My heart cried how could these children live a normal life like me. I admit that I wail and whine of how hard my life is at times but I cannot imagine these kids living a life with permanent defects. No games, no boyfriend or girlfriend to go steady with, no eyes to see, no brain to synthesis the information, etc... It's nothing. It's like living in a black hole. All hopes and dreams have been robbed by the nuclear radiation. No their future has been sucked out of these children by the warmongers. They should be labelled as war criminals. They should be sent to courts to seek justice. Nothing can justify as to rob the future of this kids.

No not only that, what about the war victims? War victims that have done no wrong to the aggressors. They too have family. They too have kids. I cannot imagine the sadness of parents burying their own kids. Growing up their kids but shortly after that parents just lose their kids to war. So sad. Now I could imagine my Iraqi friend's childhood time when I asked him about his growing up time during the sanction. He didn't say anything much but his eyes were looking afar and sadness reflected in his eyes. It was a silence sadness. I now could imagine how did my Iraqi friend survive. The economic sanction was so absurd that kids have no normal childhood life. I cannot empathy myself with them. I had a hard life as a child as well but I cannot imagine myself being denied health care service; no sharpener; no pencil; no clothe; etc.

I will do my very best as an individual to promote peace in my community no matter how powerless I am. An individual can make changes if only I want to ...

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The courage of one woman ...
Sunday. 2.4.07 10.15 p.m.
I knew you guys miss me. I'm glad to announce that I'm back. Oh yea .. the title says it all.

I was absent for quite some time because I was exhausted returning from some environmental conference and then work load has been piling for the 2 days that I was gone from the office. Not only that, I even need to bring home office work and finally I have finished the environmental report for my boss to read. It was supposed to be a 2 page report but I have already written in like a 6 page report and can't be cut short because there were like 15 speakers. Don't tell me you just want me to put one liner for each speaker? I know someone in my office would do that. I also pity her because we are mortal enemies in the office; we like to debate everything in the office - from food to lifestyle. It's not like we hate each other whatever, we are just teasing each other almost every day. Cherish every moment ...

Another reason attribute to my absence is I don't know how to setup the correct internet settings in my brand new laptop. But I'm happy to say that I managed to get it right with my courage. That's why I named this entry like above. It sounds good right. Furthermore, I'm a genius. XD Anyway the problem was quite simple but it is not for an idiotic computer user like me. It happened that the network key/password was wrongly entered at 2 different place. This disabled me from surfing the internet despite the internet icon indicating excellent signal. I got it right also with the help of aizat1900 and the rest is my brain. When aizat1900 told me to open one of the tabs, I just suddenly saw an image of myself entering my internet password. I saw this image playing in my head a few times and I know it's my inner self giving me the remedy to my problem. But it also requires courage to do that because I absolutely got no idea how to troubleshoot computer problems. But I was glad that I made the move, if not I won't be able to surf internet until today.

Thank god ... I saw the image in my head ...



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Frustrating!!!
Thursday. 2.1.07 9.22 p.m.
I'm so frustrated. So frustrated until I feel like killing people; maybe stabbing would come me down - a lot. I just bought a new laptop and was eager to go on the internet. Not because I want to download, it's just that I want to go onto the internet for heaven's sake!!!! I configured everything and I don't know why I can't surf the internet. I entered the IP, DNS and I think mistook the internet password as the network key, whatever.... So I called up Streamyx, the broadband provider, and they told me that it is not their problem if my laptop can't surf the internet just because the internet connection in my house is good and the internet in my house is connected. Hey .. isn't that a technical section suppose to help me to troubleshoot why I can't go onto the internet? If yes, why Streamyx need to employ so many operators just to hear people informing them that there's something wrong with the connection in their areas? People have more problems with the configuration of internet than the the connection in the house. Oh yes, Streamyx has forgotten to fix a jumper in my office and they blamed the upgrades in Klang Valley for the internet downtime. And poor the operator because I was shouting at her for not telling me that it is not Streamyx concern if my laptop can't surf the internet as long they have done their part. So mad that I'm sure you guys can hear me shouting virtually. So mad !!!!!!!!!!!! If I know I have someone to ask about this question, do you think I would try asking Streamyx???!! Arghh ... can I just kill someone??

Thank god, there's no Naruto latest chapter this week. If not, I would be screaming top of my lungs to get hold of it... Thank god .... there's none. If not I would scream the whole night.

Whatever... I was missing for the past few days because I was participating in a Sustainable Development conference.

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Can't remember ....
Sunday. 1.28.07 7.45 p.m.
I seriously can't remember what I wanted to put into my blog but all I know is sh*t I'm being busted. Yes I'm being busted. Yes somebody I thought I could prevent from reading my blog has been visiting my blog. I wonder how long has my sister been visiting my blog? Oh well, whatever, do whatever you want. You can tell mum about my thoughts whatsoever because I don't care. I don't care if mum is happy about how I think. All I know is I want justice and equality in the family; that's why I don't care about positions in the family. I'm sure many of us questioned why parents could beat and scold us for no apparent reason but children can't do otherwise. Oh come on, don't give me a lame excuse such as 'I'm your Dad/Mum/Cat...' as if I buy that reason. I want justice.

Like today, my mum threw out her tantrum just because I just told her to not disturb me while doing office work in my room. She just wanted me to remove some things on my side table and I refused to do because it is a disturbance. And I pity myself for not having the freedom of movement and thoughts and speak even in my own room especially when I want to be alone/solitary. I know aizat1900 is going to say something about this; yea you will be advising me to be patient and tolerance. All I'm asking is to have some time for myself and my only self.

Are my wishes just a dream?

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New baby's arrival
Saturday. 1.27.07 9.20 p.m.
I went to Low Yat Plaza today after my appointment in the morning. The reason was to look for a new laptop, which I called my baby. I found 3 brands that I will consider to buy; either BenQ, NEC or Asus. But I'm seriously torn in between Asus and BenQ. I like one of the BenQ's model and it fits my price range. Not revealing the price though. NEC is good as well because I like its cover; no matter what you do the surface, it won't have a scratch because the cover is something like a leather. Asus is not that bad as well but I don't see the difference between Asus and BenQ's features except for the price. I thought over it and actually BenQ's is much better because it comes with Windows XP. For Asus to be upgraded with Windows XP, the price I have to pay would be as just the same as BenQ. So might as well, just get BenQ and the one I thought of purchasing is one the latest model.

My verdict is *drums rolling* ... I don't know. XP

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Die another day
Wednesday. 1.24.07 5.38 p.m.
I have a function tonight and dinner will only commence at 7.30 p.m. That's pretty long for a wait since it's only 5.40 p.m. now. But thank god, I have taken pre-dinner. I'm a genius and yes you guys don't need a reminder. But I have forgotten to see that it's 6.30 pm until midnight. *gasped* I got work tomorrow la so how am I going to be there until 12 am? It will be so cool to be there until 12 am because I have not stayed out that late before in Malaysia. Hang on, let me repeat, it's Malaysia not New Zealand. *Swallowed back my words*

I'm so happy to have someone famous especially being awarded and recognized internationally this month to cooperate with me. Can't tell who but I admire his spirit.

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