Speak to My Finger

I thought he and I would be good friends, but I was wrong, or maybe he has a reason behind his actions. But I don't buy it very well. I don't think severing ties with every friend you have at workplace just because you got fired is one good reason. I cried silently and was extremely hurt when I was treated that way. He doesn't want to talk to me further. And for whatever reason, I realised I don't have to be sad for this kind of friend.

In return, I had one hell of a fun weekend with my bunch of team mates. We played a traditional Indian game called Kabadi, and we were playing it in the evenings when majority of the members have left leaving the 10 of us or so teaching others to play. It was so crazy that if I could I would be rolling on the floor while laughing. We laughed so much till my voice sore. Later, we had a sharing session, and I found out out that they are no different than me. They too cried, laughed, and got hurt by other team members when I thought I was the only one. But unfortunately, I was THE first victim.

It all happened when these team members requested me to talk to another member that majority would like to switch emcee. Knowing this member too well, I was not too happy to hear that I'm given the baddie job. And from there, I discovered the pain and hurt this member has caused in my other team mates. And all the while I thought the pain and hurt was caused by my existence in the group as assistant leader (I guess I played a part of that). Some girls cried and I offered a pathetic torn tissue I found from my pocket. And a few guys were sort of telling the girls to 'shut up' about this kind of problem. Oh well, guys being guys.

I thought all this while that my team leader and this member get along very well and was surprised to find out how he got victimised by her too. But I was THE first victim of hers.

One afternoon at work, she sent me a message on Facebook that many people in the team dislike me. Well, I knew that a long time ago, but I never knew exactly who. I was cool when I read that message and my reply was what I can do to improve? She didn't reply. Instead, I replied her what makes you think people also don't like you? She kept quiet. Because I know she is one of the people that dislike me. I don't even know what I have done to her to receive such blows.

The blow was I got complained to the program coordinator and I was called a control freak. I was told I'm too a little pro active leader, and I should trust my members. And the person who lodged the complain was this member who I need to talk to that we are changing her to another as emcee.

I don't take this lightly, for this is not me. I may be a control freak, because I'm a perfectionist, but I would never compromise people's space to grow and develop as an individual. I don't appreciate such slander.

My team leader and I and another team member would be talking to her about this problem.

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