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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Meowing in a key
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I got this keychain as a gift from Jolenesiahh. Try guessing how old is this key chain. :)

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Saturday, July 18, 2009
One thing I'm very scared to hear from people who want to do business with me is along this line "Can you please do the research?"

This didn't happen only once but several. It made me clueless. I'm no expert in the thing that my 'potential' partner is often talking about, and why was I asked to do the research?! I'm also extremely busy person, and yet I have time to fill myself with various information and these people who want to do business can't afford this kind of time? They may not mean this way but have they thought what they have said to me? Asking someone else to do the research and you only get the profits? If I do the research, why not be a sole businesswoman myself?

Am I thinking too much? In a way yes. Because if these people have this kind of request at the beginning, can I expect them to be proactive later?? And also.. I will be doing everything later right?

Man. No wonder, my fortune says it is best for me to do alone. If I have a partner, that's a bonus.

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Blank clouds
Friday, July 17, 2009
I sat down and gazed whatever in front of me.

I no longer know who I am.

I no longer why I am living everyday.

I no longer remember my dreams....

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Sweetest thing
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I grew up in a family where my parents never compliment me except picking me on every weak point I have. And not mentioning beating me up into a pulp for the slightest thing.

As I was replying my pen friend of 12 years about compliments, I realised the only compliment I ever got about me not about my look was from a friend back in New Zealand. It's actually the only compliment I got that makes me positive and raises my level of self-esteem.

So... have you gotten any compliments for once that make you feel your dreams are bigger than your fear?

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Noted Happiness
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I have had a crazy week encompassing workload from work to personal commitments but today I have finally one off my list.

I had a great day today!! Today is one of the days where I enjoy emceeing. There were days I just feel "are the speakers done" or "Can the agenda go faster than this?". Shakiness, panic and blurring my sentences contributed to my relunctance to be an emcee. The only reason I said yes to be an emcee because I promised God that I will contribute back to the religion community after getting my benefits.

Oh well, this morning, I started my day with applying make-up. Yea. This was my first time applying make-up on my own and last night I was on a slight frenzy asking jolenesiah about the order of foundation, concealer and loose powder. Haha. And I even went googling. I was glad that I had make-up on. You will know why later.

I was kind late in meeting up the driver who gave me a lift. So I rushed down to the guard house and try to spot his black car. I ran with my 2 inch boots. That was so not cool. Luckily I didn't tumble the driver is very lengchai!! Tall and lengchai!!! I was so surprised to see him... wah ... on cloud nine...

We were early but I meet up with my emcee partner and we went through our script. It was havoc with so many last minute changes. My script was rewritten for 3 times and the fourth time the coordinator just scraped the changes on mine while maintaining my partner's. I was glad. We had a rehearsal and the feedback I got was my voice is too soft and lifeless compared to my partner. I just replied 'let see' because nothing is predictable when I'm nervous in front of the guests!

The committee was inside the hall with the door shut. But I could see lots of people and press in front of the hall when some come committee was entering and exiting the hall I was in. I was back in the hall discussing with my partner and we both jumped up when we were informed by the lengchai mentioned earlier to standby.

Apparently my partner was more nervous than me! So when the guests came in ... I just spoke as loud as I can and I was surprised I was not nervous and I read out loud and very smoothly despite speaking very... very fast.

The event finished very fast and I was happy that I did well... especially my partner who had to survive on his own during one of the agendas because there was a miscommunication between the coordinator and one of the organizers about the souvenir presentation. My partner was left out there to figure out who gives who by reading the coordinator's lip across us and with my little help whispering the name in his ear. :)

Phew. We made it. I think my partner was more relieved than me! But from this experience, I feel I would be able to handle future's events on my own.

I was happy that I wore make up because there were lots of press from the papers and even national tv and they were all taking photos of every corner of the hall. There was even one who took a photo of me.

I have come to the end of the entry. The event I emceed was a photo exhibition launched by Yang Berhormat Senator Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon today.

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Guilty Pleasure
Friday, July 10, 2009
One thing annoys me is looking at unclean plates. I dislike people wasting food even though there's only a grain of rice on the plate. Nothing should be left on the plate except bones or fats. If there's something that you do not wish to eat in your food, it's ok for you to ask the person next to you if he or she is ok to eat that since you are not going to eat and have not touch. Is this ok with you?

There was a point where unclean plates made me sick because there other parts of the world that do no have food to eat and we here didn't finish food just because we can and we have the capacity to do so. Because food supplies won't end? Who cares if there's no supply of food in the future?

I was recently dumbfounded when I was having lunch with a bunch of newly made colleagues, who are highly intellectual and their job is to pass on these intellectual properties to our future generations. I was busy cleaning my plate and when I looked up at my neighbours... I noticed their plates still have some grains and some things that can be eaten. And I looked around and notice this is a norm. It made me sick. The instrumental value of a grain was just overlooked. Yes 'a' grain.

Why humans can't be more appreciative?

There are times where my colleagues comment on my food quantity during training. They always encourage me to take more but I always come up with excuses like "I will be taking second round' or 'keeping my stomach for dessert' but the truth is I don't want to waste food. I will finish whatever is on my plate before taking another round.

People say poor people understand the value of food.


I'm living with a person who was brought up in a so poor condition where lunch was just runny porridge but most of the time was nothing. Runny porridge was better than nothing I was told! So? This person still wastes food everyday equivalent to one teaspoon. He makes my sister, mother and I sick because we are already having financial problems in placing food on the table in near future. Oh well, that's another story.

So what?

Some people who claimed themselves as environmentalists also waste food. I don't think there's any difference of not using plastic and wasting food.

So? Nothing. Food is just like money. What do you feel when you ran out of money to pay your bills?

I hate people telling me nonchalantly to stop eating because the food sucks or they are stuff.

I don't even think or hope that this video helps you to change your mind because we humans have become so inhumane and emotionless. We have become so self-centered and so self-conscious till we forgotten anything else which we cannot see the direct relationship to us.

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