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Addiction or Bug Bites
Saturday. 12.13.08 10:32 am
It presents a certain savage pleasure
to grant that wish;
feed that urge,
scratch the itch.

Last night, I went to sleep around 4. And got up at 9:30.

I heard The Dark Side of the Moon from Mulan (it was on my friend's ipod,) and now I can't find it on the internet. Youtube just has the clip from the movie. Boo!

EDIT: OH! It's called I'll Make a Man out of You. That makes it easier.

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Tuesday. 12.9.08 10:35 pm
The Zune player on my computer displays the song info against a backdrop of a bunch of albums in my collection. Every now and then, the art will switch to a different album.

It's torture. Every time I see movement on the screen out of the corner of my eye, I stop and look to see.


EDIT: 11:15

Wow, now everything is tense, and I can NOT for the life of me get this work done. My mind is suddenly swamped.

It's prayer time! -cheesy inspirational music-

No, seriously.

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Sunday. 12.7.08 5:20 pm
I don't feel like updating.

down time

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Noo! Not now!
Wednesday. 12.3.08 7:01 pm
I feel like my stomach is trying to assassinate my brain.

In the middle of fourth block today, I suddenly had this awful pain in my stomach. Dull, but throbbing. It didn't feel like a cramp or air bubbles. It was something I haven't had to deal with in...ages. It was...just an upset stomach. I'd forgotten.

One thing I hate about pain, in general, is that it feels so wrong. A quick flash from a burn or prick isn't so bad. But that terrible wrongness that just goes on and on...it's indescribable. It's something you can't ease, can't get away from. It makes you shudder. You think that if you ignore the feeling, you'll be fine. But it's like the urge to eat, the urge to relieve yourself. It's the sensation that you must satiate your body somehow, whether it be by going to the bathroom, eating, scratching the itch, pushing on a cut...you can always do something to relieve it, at least for a short time. But this...you have no choice but to sit through it, and try to wait it out. It grabs your attention, it breaks your focus, and it does not relent.

What awful timing. The one night that I have little other homework. The one night before Friday that I can work on this 1500 word paper, the one that I have not been able to even start. And now all I can think about is this terrible...thing.

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