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The Steve Dictionary: Party Foul
Wednesday. 12.24.08 9:50 pm
Noun:
1. An act of aggression or hostility in a laid-back situation. Ex, throwing your drink in someone's face at a party.

2. The act of smoking or getting drunk or high around people who abstain, ever.

3. The act of being a ruining someone's innocent fun. (see "buzz-kill")

4. The act of taking an understood joke too far.

5. slang, term used to describe implications which are offensive or maliciously intended.

I think, once, my brother put his fist through his wall. Or at least dented it. I've never acted on my anger like that before. I ALMOST did, last night. Which goes to show, sometimes you inherit traits from your parents you'd rather not have. Like anger. Or cancer.

Two very different things, caused by very different circumstances; sometimes maybe caused by each other. But somehow, they're the same. They work the same way. If it doesn't just go away, you have to purge it forcefully. Stop its growth.

Haha! The song that's playing on my computer is Drag You Down by Finger Eleven. How fitting.

I nearly forgot it, but for the first Christmas after my dad died, my mom bought three big, white candles. We set them up on the mantle, between the branches of the holly. And before we had our present opening feast, Mom told us that she'd gotten the three candles because they were supposed to represent how Dad was still with us in spirit. I don't remember if it was before a prayer or afterward, but I remember that after we lit them, the middle flame grew over a foot high. We almost didn't notice, except for the inordinate amount of hot wax dripping off the fireplace. It kept burning for a long time, until we blew it out.

We never figured out what happened. We had to stop using that candle because the entire side had melted away and none of the wax would stay put, but before we tossed it, it never burned so high again.

Merry Christmas, guys.

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Interesting day
Wednesday. 12.17.08 8:41 pm
Getting a new cell phone, a Sony Ericsson Walkman. It came in the mail today; as soon as I transfer my contact list and other stuff, I'm going to activate it. I'm switching from Verizon to Cingular, so I have to do it manually. Blah.

Déjà vu isn't such a new thing for me. I often have periods when I think I've dreamed a situation before. I can remember this happening since I was a kid; I would have little dream fragments, and then some time later I would live them out, and be struck by the familiarity. At least, that's what it felt like. I figured it was just my brain fooling me like everyone else.

But today, it happened again. I was walking past my friend, who commented on my shirt. "It's tight clothing day!" I exclaimed, (a story for another day,) and then suddenly remembered saying that to her before. Then I walked inside a building, and while I wiped my feet on the rug (it was wet outside) and thought about it, a kid who had walked in before me started sliding around to make his shoes squeak. At first it annoyed me, but then that triggered another wave of déjà vu, because I remembered that, too.

Usually, when déjà vu hits me in waves like that, I get disappointed because I like trying to remember what happens next before it actually happens, but I never can until right when it IS happening. So I can't prove to myself that something out of the ordinary is going on.

BUT! Here's the kicker: When this was still a dream, I told Katie about it. I don't remember when or why, but I remember telling her. And she remembers, too. Especially the part about tight clothing (haha).

So I know it's not just my brain registering events in a funky way. I actually dreamed this before it happened. I mean, I've always felt like that, but I just figured that's how I was expected to feel about it, and that it was just an illusion. But now I have pretty solid reason to believe otherwise. And it rocks my world.

Gah. I have two projects due Friday, one in Math IB and one in History. And the History is a team project. Poo.

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Dear nuTang
Tuesday. 12.16.08 8:51 pm
Out of curiousity, I've been reading backwards through my entries, and even some of the comments. You guys are awesome. I'm just realizing that lots of people have been friendly with me, and I don't even know if I've responded. It upsets me to know that someone went to the trouble of leaving me a thoughtful comment, and I either forgot to respond or just ignored it. SO!

Thanks a lot, you guys and girls! Basically, if you're reading this, I'm talking to you! I hope YOU had a super special awesome day. And Merry Christmas, if I forget to post at a more appropriate time.

:D

PS: I peed on myself today. Though I DO have a good excuse, involving boys bathroom ettiquete and tiny urinals, I don't feel like going into it. Just know that I had a long wet spot all the way down to my knee. And, I swear on my minivan, I played it off. You know you're good at throwing people off when you can convince people that the pee on your jeans is just a social experiment. That's what's up.

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Addiction or Bug Bites
Saturday. 12.13.08 10:32 am
It presents a certain savage pleasure
to grant that wish;
feed that urge,
scratch the itch.



Last night, I went to sleep around 4. And got up at 9:30.

I heard The Dark Side of the Moon from Mulan (it was on my friend's ipod,) and now I can't find it on the internet. Youtube just has the clip from the movie. Boo!

EDIT: OH! It's called I'll Make a Man out of You. That makes it easier.

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