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Regret
Saturday. 1.16.10 11:16 am
Why on earth do I join the basketball team.

I hate practices.

I hate games.

I don't hate the coach, but right now I am supremely pissed at him.


It's not even that I'm bad at basketball. I'm not great, but honest-to-God I actually do pretty well when I play with my friends. If I was just bad I wouldn't play. I wonder if my problems don't come from the coach. Now that I think about it, I had fun and did well at practice when he left early...

This is what he does. He starts with the "first string". OK. But, except for a few certain people, he will switch out anybody who makes ANY sort of mistake. And that sounds reasonable, but what it means is that none of the "second string" people ever get their game on because they play 3 or 4 minutes tops, out of four 6-minute quarters.

Today even the better kids were playing badly, so we were trailing around 10 points, and with 35 seconds left he put in a bunch of kids who hadn't played much because they aren't as good, including me. He made a joke out of the five of us firstly, and he belittled the game. Instead of playing til the end as best we could, he gave up. It's like that obnoxious kid playing video games who starts killing himself because he can't kill anybody else. It was stupid.



On another note, last night was very, eh, special. I thought I'd spend the evening reading or sleeping, both of which would have been just fine, but instead I got the chance to...well, this isn't exactly a safe haven for me anymore. Suffice it to say that I was out late and enjoyed myself immensely doing things as simple as flat-volleyball soccer, wine glass ringing, or even blanket fights.

My new skullcandy buds just came in. This day is already improving.

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Hmmm,hmmhmhmhmm
Tuesday. 1.12.10 6:27 pm
I have no business being this content. I have two applications due the 15th, and with an 88 in Chemistry and some missing work waiting to punch a hole in my English grade, I don't have time to sit here and do them because the semester is about to end and I need to get my stuff in.

And yet here I am. Not ecstatic, but a bit more relaxed than I've been in the past few weeks.

Being 18 is hardly a big deal.

I kind of wish that a certain few friends were online so I could have a thoughtful conversation, but I'll be fine until then.

HA! Speak of the devil.

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Changes
Friday. 1.8.10 11:35 pm
I changed my message alert tone. Now it's a power chord followed by the tinkling of breaking glass.

I changed my phone theme, too. It revolves around contrasts, especially those within us all.

I changed my attitude. Well, I change that a lot, so it's no big deal.

I managed to get a Prom date. That's a first.

I saw 500 Days of Summer tonight. Sort of struck a chord with me.

I have been cursing A LOT lately. This week, really. Just a really foul mood.

My favorite quote was near the beginning: "...she'd only loved two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing."


And now! My contacts are drying out and I'm off to bed.

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So, what now?
Sunday. 1.3.10 5:14 pm
I don't know what to do with this thing. Nutang seems to be growing into old age, and it's a bit sad...I pretty much only post now to keep a a semi-interesting journal for me to read later, but is that all there is to blogging?

My temper has cooled a bit, I supposed. I don't feel the need to explain and justify every little opinion I have anymore...was that all just a teenager thing? Either I don't care anymore or I think that nobody cares to read it...either way, I haven't had a nice rant in a while. I still have discussions with my friends sometimes, but even those aren't really intellectually stimulating. Not that my friends are dull or anything, I just don't find much interest in it.

Also, I can't help but feel that I've already said everything that needs to be said. It's as if nothing new will ever happen to me again, and the interesting aspects of my life are too tedious to type out for later, especially if I have lots of pictures. Am I so uninspired? Everything seems so tired.

The only thing that really keeps me going right now is MIT and the joy I have in my friends. Music is nice when I can get it, but it's not really something that can satisfy a person for long.



I really want to get into parkour. It's not just something fun to do or a way to keep fit for a while. It's a philosophy, a way of life. Becoming self-resourceful, maximizing potential, treating and using my body the way it was meant to be so that I can move anywhere through any terrain at any time, and by extension becoming better at life. Setting goals. Working. Improving. It's what we're made to do and I've gotten so caught up with today's day and age that I don't really know those skills. I think that happens to a lot of people, but whatever. I want to be better.

This is NOT a New Year's resolution. This is more of an 18th Birthday resolution.

Hey, now, that wasn't so bad after all.

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