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Trying new things
Monday. 5.24.10 10:48 pm

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First and most awesome:



There's no support, so using them puts huge emphasis on muscles and nerves long-forgotten after the advent of the tennis shoe. Also, I've played more Ultimate Frisbee since Friday than I had for half a year, so I am taking the full brunt of the transition right now. I am so sore, both from the added exercise and the strange muscle group.

As for the shoes, THEY ARE AWESOME. I love wearing them. I love looking at them. It's kind of hard to describe...the toe pockets are probably really weird to anyone who doesn't wear toe socks (me). Plus the soles let me feel the ground I am walking on. It's cool! It's basically like walking barefoot, with all the fun stuff and athletic benefits, but with a much smaller chance of slicing my foot open on a rock or something. And they can go pretty much anywhere! Rad!

Muffy, I think you might be interested in these!

Also, I've been hitting up some bands that I appreciate but don't LOVE. This has led me to some songs that I really adore, like Be Calm.

"As I walk through the streets of my new city
my back feeling much better, I suppose
I've reclaimed the use of my imagination
for better or for worse, I've yet to know
but I always knew you'd be the one to understand me,
I guess that's why it took so long to get things right.
Suddenly I'm lost
On my street
On my block

Oh why, Oh why
Oh why haven't you been there for me?
Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time?
This time I think it's for real, I can see

All the tree tops turning red
The beggars near bodegas grin at me
I think they want something
I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe

and be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes.
Be calm.

I'm scared that everyone is out to get me.
"These days before you speak to me you pause."
"I always see you looking out your window."
"After all, you lost your band, you left your mom."
Now every single crack, every penny that I pass,
says I should either leave or pick it up
But with every single buck I've made
I'm saddled with bad luck that came

the moment I was baptized
or when I found out one day I'm gonna die
if only I could find my people or my place in life
a when they come a'carolin'
so loud, so bright, the theremin
will lead us to a chorus
where we'll all rejoice and sing a song that goes:

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.

I don't remember much that night,
Just walking, thinking fondly of you
Thinking how the worst is yet to come
When from that street corner came a song
And I can't remember the man,
The panhandler or his melody.
The words exchanged had far exceeded any change I'd given thee.

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it still thinks you're alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.
Be calm."

Funny timing, huh? Enjoy.

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You fail it!
Friday. 5.21.10 10:00 pm
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle the intricacies of life. I am going to FAIL at LIFE in the most embarrassing fashion possible.

I've screwed up scholarships.

I've screwed up relationships.

I'm working really hard on screwing up getting a job.

How do I expect to live alone?

How do I expect to stay organized and just keep track of things? How do I expect to pay for those things?

I'm just a charming mess. And I'm not even really that charming.

On one hand, this depression of sorts might be linked to my mom making me feel like total dick. Not A dick. Just. Dick.

On the other hand, I might just be dick.

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Mr. Twilight
Sunday. 5.16.10 10:39 am
That's me!

Actually it's a book I have about a man named Colin with a dark past steeped in mystery and magic, and he has to deal with the forces of good and evil fighting over him for reasons he doesn't completely understand. It's a bit corny, but not too bad. I think that when two authors collaborate...well, let's just say I'm not a huge fan of it.

Is anyone here a fan of the band "fun."? Here's their myspace. I really love Be Calm.

Oh man, I've been on facebook so long that I almost forgot how to write HTML links. Gosh.

Speaking of weak programming skills, I have been enjoying Rainmeter very much. I plan on learning to make my own skins in that, but for now I'm happy using Omnimo and editing it a bit. My desktop looks sort of baller right now, not gonna lie.

Also, I finished the pig latin translator (did I already say that?) and now I really want to do a stutter and maybe even a Morse code translator. That could actually be useful...

My IB exams are over...now I only have a few normal end-of-year exams to do. It's hard to concentrate on the little homework I have left at this point. This cannot be a good way to start off college. I'll just have to figure it out.

This weekend has been pretty rad so far, but of course now it's Sunday and I have to DO WORK. Man. But this band is SO GOOD! Actually I'm only getting every other song on their myspace playlist, hahaha.

AND OH YEAH I have a job interview Monday. I am the last person I know to get a job. I feel like I'm failing at life or something. But anyway it's on Monday and I plan on being a lifeguard for real this time. Wish me luck! I have never done this before.

I am not going to lie. I am VERY disappointed about how the magazine turned out this year. I was SO EXCITED about it, remember? The layout was awesome, the cover was awesome, and most of the poetry and especially the art was fantastic. But now all these mistakes have come up (of course after we printed) and I'm not sure it's all the printer's fault. Some of it definitely is, though. All of our page layout elements are meant to be greyscale, even on the "color" pages (most pages are completely greyscale, even the art, in an effort to save money, so we have certain pages set aside to be with color). But on the color pages, our blacks are more like dark magenta or in some cases navy blue. What the heck. Also there are some details that seemed to have changed, like missing drop-shadows and THE LINES OF MY HAIKU BEING OUT OF ORDER. For real. OUT OF ORDER. I thought I was misrepresented when they changed my careful punctuation a few years ago, but now I see that even when I am on the staff I have to be wary of liberties taken with my poetry! And also one of my pictures was on a color page, but apparently we were wrong about that because it printed in B&W. On Tuesday I'm going to look through the PDFs we sent the printer and see how much of this is our fault and how much wasn't.

Anyway, now I am really only proud of the cover (even though they didn't use the right gloss on the cover so now it sucks up finger oils like mad). Most of the problems are little things that nobody would ever notice (except that haiku thing)...but those are exactly the mistakes that will cost the magazine a good rating at the competition next year. Dang itttt. I was so proud.

Now I'm all peeved again. Bah. I went swimming yesterday and it was quite a lot of fun. The weather was hot and perfect. I had to swim in my pants and then drive in my underwear because the whole thing was sort of a surprise to me. But that's part of the fun!

Ehhh. I've spent a while writing this. I'm out!

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Passion Fruit Smoothie!
Thursday. 5.6.10 12:27 Am
Alright, so, I opened a new shampoo bottle just now, and it's scented "Passion Fruit Smoothie." I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen a bottle trying to pass off a taste as a scent. Because that is obviously a taste! There should be no difference between the smell of the fruit and the smoothie, so it MUST be a taste reference!

In either case, it smells like plain shampoo.

I wonder how inappropriate it would be for me to pass out Mother's Day cards to some girls at school. I'm not close friends with any girls who are pregnant, so that little joke is out.

Saturday I'm driving down to Columbia to watch my brother's track meet there. It will be rad! As long as I don't die or get lost or something.

I've always told people that, in the event that I was about to die and there was no way around it, I'd prefer to jump out of airplane, over the ocean, stark naked. This is still true. I think that would be possibly the greatest way to die.

I had two days off of school for an English IB exam and a Calculus AP exam. I am fairly confident with the English...the math, on the other hand, left me wondering about life, the universe, and everything. It was awful. I was completely and utterly ill-prepared, which is mostly my fault but was aggravated slightly by my class and teacher. Parts of it were beyond my grasp simply because I didn't know how to handle certain numbers (in some cases I could even remember DOING the lesson, but no dice!) but at least I knew what it was asking almost all of the time. And I figured out some stuff on the spot, like deriving a semicircle!

But yeah, I got a pretty bad score on that.

Tonight I decided that I wanted to converse with people on facebook in all caps. Here are some highlights.

Me
HEY AJ
WHATS UP

11:20pmAJ
HELLO
NOTHING
LYING IN MY BED

11:20pmMe
KOOL KOOL

11:20pmAJ
LOLZ I KNOW

11:20pmMe
WHO DID YOU USE AS YOUR REFERENCE FOR YOUR LAUREL CREEK APPLICATION

11:20pmAJ
WHAT?

11:21pmMe
IT ASKS FOR TWO REFERENCES.
NO PARENTS OR EMPLOYERS

11:21pmAJ
I DID NOT HAVE TO EVEN FILL OUT AN APPLICATION I JUST CALLED UP THERE AND TOLD THEM I WANTED TO WORK HAHA

11:21pmMe
WTF

-------

Me
IS IT IMPORTANT

11:29pmAJ
what is

11:29pmMe
THE MEETING

11:29pmAJ
oh haha
yes we are cleaning and going over policies and what not
but i mean they wont tell you no because you missed it. clay wont be able to make it

11:30pmMe
CLAY BATES
THAT IS A QUESTION

11:30pmAJ
YES
hha

-------

Me
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SHOUTING CONVERSATION
IT IS CERTAINLY USEFUL FOR SPICING UP LIFE

11:31pmKatie
I GUESS
IT SEEMS LIKE AS GOOD A TIME AS EVER

11:33pmMe
IT IS FUN TO NOT USE PUNCTUATION EVEN WHEN IT IS INTEGRAL TO THE MEANING

11:33pmKatie
LIKE WHEN

11:34pmMe
LIKE WHEN AJ MENTIONED CLAY
AND I SAID CLAY BATES
BUT IT WAS A QUESTION NOT AN EXCLAMATINO
STRIKE THAT
EXCLAMATION
SO I HAD TO SAY THAT IS A QUESTION
ALSO
JUST NOW WHEN I WAS QUOTING MYSELF

-------

Katie
RULE ONE
NEVER ADMIT TO BEING UNCOOL
YOU JUST BROKE RULE ONE

11:42pmMe
I ADMITTED NO SUCH THING
I AM THE COOLEST CAT ON THE BLOCK

11:43pmKatie
YOU ARE NOT A CAT
I WOULD KNOW
BECAUSE I AM A CAT
CHECK IT OUT
MEOW
SEE THERE IT IS

11:43pmMe
THAT DOESN'T REALLY WORK IN CAPS

11:43pmKatie
NEITHER DOES YOUR MOM

11:43pmMe
IT IS AS IF A CAT IS BEING SURPRISED

11:43pmKatie
OH NO

11:43pmMe
OR RAPED IN AN ALLY

11:43pmKatie
YES I DID

11:43pmMe
WHICH I GUESS STILL FALLS UNDER THE FIRST INSTANCE

11:44pmKatie
YOU CAN IGNORE THE CRUDE COMMENT I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOM OKAY BUT MY CAT IMPRESSION IS GREAT

11:45pmMe
OMG
YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT ON MY GOAT IMPRESSION
LET ME TELL YOU
IT IS BAAAAAD

11:45pmKatie
HOLY SHITE
YOU JUST MADE ME LAUGH

11:46pmMe
FOR REAL THAT IS PRETTY NEAT

11:46pmKatie
YES FOR REAL
I HAVE NOT LAUGHED IN A LONG TIME WHILE TALKING TO YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GIRL DRAMA
HEHE GIRL DRAMA
HEHE

11:46pmMe
I AM NOT ALL GIRL DRAMA
I DO NOT THINK I HAVE MENTIONED GIRLS FOR A LONG TIME

11:47pmKatie
YOU ARE ALSO FIVE PERCENT WATER

11:47pmMe
PRETTY SURE IT IS MORE THAN THAT

11:47pmKatie
NOT WITH ALL THAT GIRL DRAMA YOU ARE PACKING
IT'S LIKE DRINKING ALCOHOL
IF YOU HAD A .95 BLOOD GIRL LEVEL I WOULD BELIEVE IT
I'VE BEEN HOLDING DOWN SHIFT THIS WHOLE TIME INSTEAD OF CAPS LOCKING WTF

11:49pmMe
I AM STILL WONDERING WHAT IS THIS DRAMA YOU SPEAK OF.
OH DAMN A PERIOD

------

Me
MAN
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE GIRL DRAMA
I HONESTLY THINK YOU SAY THESE THINGS JUST TO RILE ME UP

12:10amKatie
YOU'RE ALL WOMEN BE HATEN ON MEEE

12:10amMe
REMEMBER HOW PARANOID I AM.

12:10amKatie
HOLY CRAP IT'S A PERIOD

12:10amMe
THAT IS NOT TRUE BECAUSE THAT IS NOT TRUE
WOMEN LOVE ME
ASK THEM

12:10amKatie
WOMEN HATE YOU
HEARTHEART

12:11amMe
AWW MAN THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A QUESTION TOO

-----

Ryan
esteven.

11:41pmMe
HEY RYAN I AM HAVING SHOUTING CONVERSATIONS WITH KATIE AND AJ

11:41pmRyan
I have an application on my mac desktop that allows me to look at every issue of science magazine, EVER

11:41pmMe
IT IS QUITE INVIGORATING

11:41pmRyan
starting with 1880.

11:42pmMe
I LIKE MY STORY BETTER

------

Ryan
do...do you need some water?
you sound like you're getting hoarse.

11:46pmMe
I JUST MADE KATIE LAUGH
SO I AM ON A ROLL

11:46pmRyan
man.

11:46pmMe
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I TOLD HER
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS

11:46pmRyan
i really wish you had replied to my comment wiht
naaaahhhhhhhaahahahah (neighing like a horse)
oh man
wait, which katie
i know LOTS of katies
LOTS OF KATIES YOU HEAR

11:47pmMe
ANYWAY
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS
AND SHE SAID MEOW

11:47pmRyan
way to not answer my question.

11:47pmMe
AND I TOLD HER THAT MEOWING DOES NOT REALLY WORK IN ALL CAPS

11:47pmRyan
that wasnt even a skillful dodge.
YOU LIE OF COURSE THEY DO

11:48pmMe
WHO NEEDS SUBTLETY WHEN YOU CAN TYPE LIKE THIS

11:48pmRyan
MEOW MOTHERFUCKER

------

Ryan
hahahaha
well. i have exams in the morning.
so, sleep well steve.
try not to yell in your sleep.

12:01amMe
WHY WOULD I TRY THAT
IF I CAN YELL IN MY SLEEP I WILL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT

12:01amRyan
did you consider that it might not be voluntray?
ha. voluntary

12:02amMe
IT IS LIKE THE CLASSIC LIBRARY MISSPELLING
BUT BACKWARDS

12:02amRyan
......
goodnight, one of the overflexed lungs and vocal chords.


Oh man. This is actually a lot of fun.

EDIT!

I have been using the straight-faced awkward approach a LOT lately. Talking about sex in youth group, for example. Now, to be clear, nobody in my youth group believes that sex itself is bad or taboo or anything. So certain discussions are allowed and even encouraged. But it's still sort of awkward, especially when both genders are present and we're talking about breast reductions.

Also, I was looking up the KIN phone today in school (apparently an awful phone) and some kid kept making jokes that I was looking up Ken from Barbie. He asked, "What were you and Ken doing last night?"

I looked him right in the eye and said, "Masturbating."

...so if anyone's wondering about my part in the current shoutbox conversation...yeah.

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