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unfit
Friday. 2.27.09 9:22 pm
I am on EDGE.

The weather turned sour, I'm stuck here at home myself reading this stupid book for English...

It's like I have all this nervous energy, and for once I want to spend it somewhere, but I can't and it's making me crabby. I'm not thinking things through like I should.

I'm breaking one of the biggest rules of critical thinking. I'm choosing my outcome before I really go over the evidence. I'm biasing like crazy.

I'm, I'm, I'm.

I'm sorry.

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VOTE IN THE FAVICONTEST, OR ELSE...
Thursday. 2.26.09 11:08 pm
I'll come get you.

Smiling.

Normally, I don't partake much in community events, but this time I felt I had to, because...well, mostly because Ikimishokie made me do it. But also because I like favicons. Yupyup.

Today I was outside with my dog, when I remembered a similar scene when I was little. Apparently it was the first time I'd noticed a grey sky (full of storm clouds). I was playing on my neighbor's trampoline, and I looked up. The sky was luminous, but it was all diffused. The light was silver, and I never thought that it could ALL be clouds.

I was looking at it, and suddenly the impression of a vast bowl placed upside down over the world hit me. I ran inside the house yelling because I thought the world was about to end.

I miss going out on my roof. When I get a house, I'll be sure the it has easy roof access, especially through a window.

Did you know that I'm not bulletproof? I mean, we all know I get sad and mopey, angry, frustrated, excited, paranoid, etc...but did you know I actually get hurt? Usually I don't let things get to me. They roll off my skin. People say lots of things, and they rarely intentionally mean to hurt someone. Sometimes people are just careless, and I can't let that bother me.

But, of course, there are those who really get to me. They don't just make me indignant about being impolite. They hurt me. They're sarcastic, or sometimes they do something with just the intention to cause pain. It's a form of self defense, presumable, but that's not completely true because there are many other ways of resolving things. And the more frank I'm being, the more it hurts, because it always cuts deeper when you're opening some insecurity or just being real with someone.

We had basketball practice late, tonight. Not only that, but we had it in another church's gym...the same church we play against this Saturday.

A few people couldn't make it, so we played four on four most of the time. The first game, my team lost, but then we won.

I am so physically exhausted I could hardly put my towel on the rack after my shower. And it's great. I'm used to being tired or sleepy, but now my body aches and I feel good. It's a nice difference.

I just finished 1984. I can't decide what the story is actually ABOUT. I loved it, but I hated the ending. No hope at all. Bummer. It makes sense, but it would have been pretty easy for the author to change or add to the ending. Ah, well. Point is, the whole "doublethink" thing that Zanzibar was talking about earlier is a scary idea. And it's scary when I realize that I do it, too. Everybody does. It goes against the very laws of nature, seemingly, but for all we know it could be applicable.

I don't agree with the ideas of the Party, but their plan definitely seems infallible. And half the time, they aren't even aware of any ulterior motives that they have. Weird, huh?

I need to stop reading during physics. I've missed the lesson on work and power. The theory is simple, but the formulas aren't fun. I'm starting to lose track of my newton meters and my force units.

If you integrate acceleration, you get velocity. If you integrate velocity, you get position. But what do you get if you integrate position? Meter seconds?

EDIT:

I want a tattoo. I don't know where. Probably somewhere usually out of sight. But I know what. Just a word. Theme of my life, you know.

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I'm totally comfortable.
Wednesday. 2.25.09 8:36 pm
Alright, so, the first 13 or so years I've lived in this house, my family never knew there was an air duct that came out under the sink.

The longer I live here, the more bad things I hear about the contractor from Mom. Haha.

Anyway, it was uncovered when we renovated the kitchen (which I'm still getting used to, by the way) and now when I stand in front of the sink, I get warm air on my poor widdle cold tosies.

On another, unrelated note, my mom likes to conserve energy by leaving the air system set to 60 degrees downstairs and 67 upstairs. I've complained about this before, because since nobody knows how to use the air system (this, also, is relatively new because the old one failed epically), and nobody remembers to turn up the heat when we get home from school/work, the house is in a constant state of freezingness and especially when I'm trying to sleep. And I've made Mom aware of this, in my usual way.

SO.

I was pointing out to Sean the extra vent we'd uncovered while I basked in its restoring flow. Mom misunderstood me to be complaining about the cold, and started berating me for not "dressing properly" for the cold. I'm wearing long jeans and a Tee shirt, mind you.

After insisting several times that my body is just fine, it's just my toes that are cold, and I was only talking about the air vent anyway, I yelled "HEY MOM, LOOK! I'm comfortable!"

I proceeded to strip down to my underwear, and ate my cheeseburgers in my boxers.




Some friends at school and I have an idea for an awesome video, but it's a big job. I don't know if it can be an amature job or not, but if we can pull it off right, it has the potential for greatness.

Hush-hush.

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...I care...
Tuesday. 2.24.09 8:24 pm
And it will be the death of me.

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