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DekKer
Monday. 1.31.11 1:53 pm
This guy is my hero. From his blog:

"Most who read my novels do so to step out of the box. We find authenticity between the lines with characters who struggle with impossible situations and descend into deep valleys to discover life. Itís not neat, itís not tidy, itís often unnerving, sometimes terrifying. But for us, itís life giving. Real. Explosive. True.

The beauty of powerful story is that it takes us there, where mere words and narrow definition fails, where real life resides. Itís all about the story, baby. The story, not the words.

And it certainly isnít about the labels.

Itís funny how labels work. I mean, seriously, they make me chuckle. Iíve been called all kind of things over the years. A cursory glance at my novels tells the story. I mean, I write stories about Serial Killers, right? Demented stalkers who drain the blood from their victimís heels into a bucket, wolves in sheepís clothing who would suck you dry. True dat.

Some say Iím secretly a Catholic Priest, and yes, my next novel is titled The Priestís Graveyard. Some say I write religious fiction. Really? From the beginning my novels have always been suspicious of and challenged religion, particularly American Christianity as such. Some say I must be a raging liberal, others that I must be a right wing nutóIíve never spoken a word on politics. Iíve been criticized as one who loves Muslimsóshouldnít we all?

Labels, labels, labels. Donít you love them? All the world wants to put your story into a box and slap a sign on you, yes? Tie it up with a neat little bow and move on to the next box.

I once wrote a blog called, ďThe Challenge of Being Gay,Ē Iím sure many of you recall itóa fun little piece on how the meaning of labels change over timeóand for a while many thought I was gay even though the piece made it very clear I was heterosexual. People love to make snap judgments and jump on labels.

So in my story world, am I a gay priest obsessed with violence, vampires, and blood? Well, I guess that depends on what you think all those labels mean. One thing you can be certain of, boxes and labels will not help you or anyone engage or experience any of one my stories. Try to categorize or define it and more than likely youíll destroy itóthe storytellers among you know this already. My adviceÖ Donít try. Let the story live on its own, outside the box where the real world lives."

I'd post a real entry but I don't feel like it, ya hear?

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Maturity
Friday. 1.28.11 6:27 pm
At various times, I lack it.

New things, including (but not limited to):
Racqetball
Snazzy glasses
Short hair again
PhotoShop


Memory by ~middaymoon on deviantART


Facing Enemy Fire by ~middaymoon on deviantART

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Uh oh
Monday. 1.17.11 6:30 pm
I just spent all last semester and most of the year leading up to it assuring all my teachers and friends that yes, I really do like physics, and no, I don't think I'm going to change majors. I figure I can major in Physics, minor in Computer Science or something like that, and go into research.

Just now I wondered if that's really what I want to do, and now I'm unsure. Am I really interested enough to base my career on it? All these people want to know what my goals are. I dunno! I'm not very good at setting goals because I'm not very good at caring about them. Goals aren't like deadlines; they have no immediate impact. I do things when I want to because I want to...if I do it for a goal it just seems like work. I'm just as inclined to sit around and think about things I MIGHT do.

And then this stems from commitment. I get really excited about a project, get started, and work through it in a few days. OR, I get really excited about it, do half of it, take a break, and never want to touch it again. On the bright side, this applies to time wasting things like video games or reading, but on the other hand, how am I supposed to have FUN, much less have consistent and/or useful INTERESTS if I can't keep on track? People ask me what my hobbies are, and I don't know what to tell them. Reading? Writing? Photography? Coding? Video games? Swimming? WREK? They're all phases. I don't even WATCH my "favorite" TV shows consistently.

Oh, I didn't say. I'm pretty much done with WREK. I stopped liking it. Just like that. Kind of like...

Well, everything.

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In the Dark of the Night!
Saturday. 1.15.11 11:35 am
Evil will find herrrrr!

...

I always think of the craziest things to say when I'm in bed at night these days. But I can't write them down or anything so I just try to remember them for later.

When I turn over, the window blinds are right there in my face. I find it amusing to cross my eyes and let my brain stitch the two images together the way it normally would if my eyes weren't crossed. If the two images are similar enough, the composite will be a surreal, "3D" experience that breaks down if you try to focus on it, since the image you're seeing technically doesn't exist. This trick works on any repeating pattern that's close enough to your face. It's the same trick you use to see the "hidden 3D image" in those weird CGI cards you can buy. Anyway, I stare at my blinds and just bask in the surreality. It's like good music, almost.

I am beyond sore. I'm used to being a little tight after the first weeks of swim practice, but this is something else. I can barely move my arms. Last night I felt something pop when I was lifting. I think I'm screwing up my tendons or something. Pathetic, really, since I'm mostly using 7-15 pound dumbbells. Oh, the joys of being a pansy man. As of right now the most infuriating thing is that I can't completely fold or straighten my elbows. Not that it hurts, which it does. I mean that they get stuck. I feel like I'm stretching past my flexibility limits when I do things like lay out in bed or scratch my head and it is quite painful.

Melissa Kaplan is a tremendously talented individual. She's like Trent Reznor without his love of destruction. It's sort of inspiring, actually. Universal Hall Pass and Splashdown are both top of my list at the moment. And, alternatively, the Man On Fire soundtrack (which by chance has a lot of stuff by NIN). Lots of good stuff that nobody else likes, haha.

School's finally in. I have a better teacher for Cal 2 (and better classmates), but I am going to need some serious review of Cal 1. Which makes sense, really.

I love my computer. It is somewhat fancy, and it is mine. Meaning that I can make it somewhat fancier. It's sort of the same personality trait that makes me rearrange my room: a need for added efficiency. And the same that makes me switch what side of the bed I put my head on: a need for change. I just like things to work better. I have a nifty little gesture suite installed on my computer that makes my touchpad almost as useful as a Mac's. And my desktop background cycles through a folder of artistic photographs, paintings, and fractals on a daily basis. My screensaver is this. Completely mesmerizing, by the way. I definitely recommend it. A huge one-up on the built in screensavers.

I should go now.

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