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Peanut Butter Oreos
Wednesday. 8.27.08 9:00 pm
I posted this in the reading section already, but I'll put here for attention's sake. This is the "process essay" that I did in Creative Writing 2, where we wrote out the process of something we do that's unique, be it a snack, game, or creation. I did mine on peanut butter Oreos, which I make with great care and attention. There's more love in one of these suckers than in a baby-boomer's old house.

It's two pages long on Word (double spaced, though!) but since the point of it is to be fun to read, I'm sure nobody will mind too much. And, it's really is yummy. So. Here it is:

Today we’ll be making a snack that’s healthy, all natural, and aesthetically pleasing. No, not really. We’re smearing peanut butter on Oreos. There are two giants in the snack world. Well, three: cheese, peanut butter, and chocolate. Any combination of the three can potentially be mouthwatering, but for now you’ll only read about two. So, let’s begin.

For the purpose of neatness, gather all the necessary materials on a table before starting. You’ll need a source of peanut butter (preferably a jar [preferably plastic {but it doesn’t really matter}]), a knife that won’t bend easily, a decent supply of Oreo cookies, and a plate. The size of the plate depends mostly on your supply of cookies, assuming you want to use them all. Or it might depend on your supply of peanut butter. Whichever of the two runs out quickest.

First, the Oreos. You know chocolate. Everyone loves it. I don’t need to tell you that. One of the most warmly received chocolate products, behind the chocolate fondue fountain, is the Oreo cookie. For our purposes, we’ll need the Double Stuffed kind for two reasons. Firstly because when split open, Double Stuffed Oreos split evenly nearly every time, with the cream entirely on one side, and leaving no question as to what side one should lick or eat separately. Secondly because the extra cream counteracts the tendency of the crunchy, chocolate-y cracker to absorb all your saliva and become extremely sticky (the peanut butter will probably make this worse). More cream means less scraping the roof of your mouth. However, using normal or reduced fat Oreo cookies is acceptable, even if it means you’re really a pansy. Take each side of the cookie in one hand, and twist. The twisting should be gentle yet firm so as to preserve the structural integrity of each cracker (you don’t want a broken cookie) and also to encourage all of the creamy goodness to stay on one side or the other. Also, each hand should twist in the opposite direction of the other hand. Otherwise, the cookie will simply rotate in front of your face and taunt you with its one-ness. You will fail. Assuming you do not fail in this way, lay each side of the cookie down on the plate. Take note of which side has a large white circle on it.

Second, the peanut butter. Now, peanut butter is big. Almost every candy bar that doesn’t have caramel in it has peanut butter instead. Peanut butter is much more versatile. (You won’t find caramel being sold by the jar.) Personally, I prefer Peter Pan brand, though JIF is good, too. As long as it’s not that “all natural” stuff. You’ll find that your taste buds are unsatisfied, and that your stomach contents tend to settle out unpleasantly. You need a steady supply of preservatives in your diet. On top of that, stay away from the crunchy kind, as that will ruin the texture of your delicacy. (There is a time and place for nuts in your butter, and this is neither.) As a side note, it might be interesting to try the peanut butter that comes pre-mixed with grape jelly, if it tickles your fancy. Acquire some peanut butter on your inflexible knife, and spread it evenly on the naked cracker; that is, on the cracker that has no cream on it. If there is no such cracker, use the one with the least amount of impurity. The layer of peanut butter should be no thicker than the cracker itself, and there should be room around the edges for smearing.

The last step is the most satisfying, and the most vital. Take both sides of the estranged cookie and place them together, cream against peanut butter. Line up the crackers themselves so that as seen from above, they overlap perfectly. Press them together slowly until the peanut butter oozes out just enough to pass the edges of the cookie, but no more. Note that one should have caution of extra oozage during consumption. Grab a glass of milk, because you know that if PB&J sandwiches alone or Oreos alone go with milk, then a combination practically demands it. Heed your thirst. Enjoy!

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What's going on, guys?
Tuesday. 8.26.08 10:49 pm
There's so much drama on nuTang lately. -sigh-

Why can't we all love each other? Heheheh, ohoho. Ha.


BUT ANYWAY, today was:


Personally, I really like rain. I like the the near uncomfort. I LOVE when lightning strikes from right above my head. If I could choose a way to die, right now I would choose lightning struck to death. Then again, it'd be great to survive said event, assuming I keep all my brain functions.

Whenever it really pours, I get excited. And I don't even notice, usually. It's kind of a deep sense of comfort. But it never rains hard for more than 10 or 15 minutes around here, and I always end up disappointed.

But not today! Today was a combination of half hour downpours, angry drizzles, and the clouds glaring down on our puny heads. It was wonderful. The sheer volume of the water falling from the sky made my head spin. I dare say this was on the order of someone seeing snow for the first time. Well, no I don't. But you get the idea.

The constant fear of hydroplaning in a minivan makes driving much more interesting, also. I'm a fairly careful driver, which is good, because I was out in another downpour tonight dropping off my friends in their wooded neighborhood. Lots of water on the roads. More than a little slipping. But nobody knew that until I was safe at home. Or just now, actually.


//subject change/

Beware, girls. I will melt your brain. *cue eerie music*

Is it just me, or is everything worth worrying about completely under control? Yeah. It's just me. Cha-ching!

And now, on to Math IB and a little touch up of my Oreo recipe. Yummy.

Get along, you guys.

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Oh, man. I feel fried.
Monday. 8.25.08 10:21 pm
The first week of school is a bit more taxing than I'd like. I kind of can't wait for swim season to end, now. That's the only respite I have to look forward to; the two hardest classes are year long. At least I have Creative Writing.

The problem in THAT class is that I'm in a room with 15 kids like me. Which means that there's no concentration to be had for me. It's not too bad, as long as I can finish at home.

But writing for that class is fun, so far. I think it'll be better than last year.

Driver's Ed is not as bad as I thought. The teacher's a stiff, though he can be agreeable. I talk to a few friends, plus one of the girls who's actually in CW2 with me. So it's good.

On the spur of the moment, I just googled my name to see what employers might find if they were searching me out. As it turns out, there's a well known porn star who shares my first and last name. That's...embarrassing. It'd be hard to make a name for myself if someone else already has...and in the porn industry, no less. Gosh. What luck.

(For those of you who know me personally, I'd appreciate it if that didn't get around. I can only imagine how some people would take that.)

Mmm. Back to Communist Russia for me!

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I take it back
Saturday. 8.23.08 1:13 pm
I don't dislike rap. What disgusts me is the current state of the form.

You see, I'm a deep thinker. Yes, lately I've been filling this with...well, crap that nobody could care about. That's what a blog is for, right? Scum of the internet, that's me. But, regardless, I care very deeply about the truth. I don't mean little truths, like a person lying to me about where they've been or something. That's petty in comparison to The Truth. You know. Great questions. Things that people stay up at night worrying about, but don't during the day because it makes them nervous. And that's a heavy subject. I like to say to I'm a philosopher, or at least small time. I don't know how accurate that statement is, but I'm sticking with it. I prefer to pay more attention to things more important than...well, lots of stuff that people do everyday is pretty shallow. We pay way too much attention to things that just don't matter on the grand scale of things. We've got our noses stuck in the world. (This is why I tend to dislike online gamers and stuff, because they're even worse; they give importance to a world even less real than ours, a fantasy world. Not that it's pathetic, which it is, but it's just a huge waste.)

That, by the way, is probably the biggest reason I'm a Christian now. Not because I grew up with it. That is NOT what makes people a Christian, and it makes me angry to hear people saying they "used to be a Christian" but they grew out of it or something. Someone really close with God doesn't just "grow out of it". Going to church doesn't mean anything by itself. Nor does being baptized, really. For those of you who think like that, I say this: you give yourself too much credit. As a child, you "rode" the faith of your parents. That means nothing. Any child in a religious household will do that. I did that. It's like saying that you can drive because you passed Driver's Ed. It's not even close to the same. There comes a point in your life when you question your parents and upbringings. THAT is the real fork in the road. That's when you can either start changing your life, or decide that you've been wasting your time. Don't think that because you chose the latter you're more mature than other Christians, or, God forbid, your parents. You think you've been in the right spot, but found something even better (or found that it's no different than the rest). You're wrong, simply because you were never there in the first place.

Wow, that was a major tangent. I was just going to say that I'm only a Christian because I searched for truth, no matter the cost, and I was lucky enough to have lived down the road from it. And even that's not the main point.

To sum up what I want you to be thinking about...I'm intense. I don't care for the pointless things that tend to distract people in life. I try to concern myself with things that are really important. The deep topics.

There we go.

Anyway, that's what reflects in my musical taste. On one hand, I love the music that has the right qualities. I can't really define them, though Pandora.com seems to be able to, but mostly I can say that the music should make my brain happy, like solving a puzzle or reading a good poem. On the other hand, lyrics are key, especially lately. They'd better be meaningful. They'd better be poetic. Not too flowery. Mostly themes of pain, joy, love, and praise. Spittin' the truth.

Which brings me to rap. What I hear on the radio reminds me strongly of the Disney Channel: Cheap. Shallow. Popular because it has a good beat (and is it just me, or do lots of rap songs have the same bass beat? Maybe that's why they're so popular). The most popular rap is the stuff that appeals to our experiences, i.e., they remix something popular and ruin it. Have you heard the song based on E.T.? Why is that so popular? It's complete crap. Nothing is original, nothing is meaningful. Soulja Boy is a sick joke on society.

But that's not the definition of rap. Some of it is really good. Even if it's not musically appealing, the lyrics alone are enough to get my attention. And that's something special.

I guess that's what I wanted to say.

Oh, and any interested Christian should check out Disciple's older albums. I only make that distinction because nobody else is prone to like them.

EDIT: I need to work on staying on topic. Hahaha. Sorry.

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