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Saturday. 2.13.10 11:28 pm
Does the adverb "royally" ever describe any positive nouns, in this day and age? No? OK, then. I think I can leave it at that, and let your imagination take hold. That's right. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably what I mean. Within reason.

The main problem with me, other than my "fail at life" status, is thus: I am extremely good at pretending that I am happy. Pretending that nothing's wrong with me. I complain about the little things and smile with my voice and body, and it throws people off. I've become so good at it, and done it so consistently throughout my life, that I do it subconsciously now. I'm so good I can fool myself. In fact, the idea of me crying is almost beyond imagination, even to me, so I never do. That's the extent of my double thinking prowess. I'm that good. Nobody can make me cry.

Not my mom.

Not that girl.

Not all the woe and misery that my close friends share with me.

Just me. That's how much I suck.

It's not like I'm sad that the world is conspiring against me or anything. It's just a deep horror when I realize who I am. So, every now and then my unimaginable suckiness creeps up on me. And tonight was especially bad because it appears to have some real world consequences and not just local ones. And I was driving to get Sean from his girlfriend's house, and a song came on, and it was just one of those things where you dwell on sadness and then all of a sudden it's all around you, and you can't see through your tears, and driving becomes very dangerous.


So yeah. "You deserve a nice girl," she said. This is why I call bullshit. Not to offend, but you don't know me well enough to make such grand statements. Unless you were just paying me a casual compliment, in which case I say go ahead. I like when people are nice. It's nice.

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Tuesday. 2.9.10 7:12 pm
This is turning out to be a good album.

Tonight I was going to hang out with Ryan and listen to music and stuff, but that's not happening...eh. I can wait for a better day.

I got a splinter. I pulled it out with nail clippers and a bit of alcohol. Yessir. Except now I have a sort of ragged hole in my finger. Oh wellll.

I need to aim to be a better person.

MIT asked me for an update on my schedule, and I don't have one, so they said I could tell a joke or my favorite quote. I told them a story.

And also a really bad joke. >.> I figure this will either make or break my application. Heavy duty.

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A love poem with a disclaimer
Thursday. 2.4.10 11:03 pm
I always thought that was funny.

I never had any discernible body oder until a few months ago. I've finally grown up in this respect.


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Finished The Shack
Monday. 2.1.10 11:30 pm
Today Kyle and I were in a parking lot that had ice on it still, and managed to lift some of the bigger pieces that were actual ice and not notsnow. They were dirty, jagged, and several inches thick in places.

We threw them at each other.

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