Hatchet Vs. Genitals (LONG post)
Tuesday. 1.8.08 8:41 pm
If you ever see a link for a video that you've only heard of through various "*Such and such* reaction!!!11!" videos, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SWEET AND HOLY, do NOT watch it. There's a reason the people in the reaction videos are about to puke. Unless said people are laughing. Then by all means, watch it. Partake in the mirth.
Let's just say that I saw two men castrate themselves, as such, one with a hatchet and the other with a knife. I thought it was fake at first. If it is, it certainly is VERY realistic. And explicit. One of those guys is a masochist, judging by the first clip. -.-
Now that I've got your attention, (and I'm sure I do,) I'll go ahead and launch into a normal post. If you call them normal.
I just finished reading this book for the second time. The description sounds kind of run-of-the-mill, but I assure you that this book is really, really good. Reads like the Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy books. (If you've read them, good for you! If you haven't, this problem can easily be fixed.) It's funny, and profound, and ALSO really hard to put down. Someone read it and get back to me! :D
In other news, my brother has been using my tooth brush for about a week now, without even realizing it. Seriously. I'm glad I found out before he spread some sort of gross disease to me. Hahaha.
I have a very delicate sleep cycle, especially when I'm waking up. My alarm rings at 6:50. I snooze it. Nine or so minutes later, (The manual wasn't very specific, ha ha,) it rings again and I snooze it again. At about 7:09, it rings once more, to be joined by my mother yelling from downstairs. Thus, I sleep through two full snooze cycles and wake at 7:10.
Mind you, I've been known to wake at 6:50 on the weekends, with no alarm, and hit the snooze button. That's how critically my mind is set upon this. So, you can imagine what happened when I set the alarm to 6:55. Mom still called at 7:10...it was just a mess.
Pointless story, I guess. I'm just in love with my idiosyncrasies. And my affinity for prodigiously incoherent words.
My birthday party is going to be on Saturday, the 19th. It WOULD have been this weekend, but another girl was having her party then, so we bumped it a week. No big deal. Unless said girl decides to GLOAT.
Let's call this girl Angel, because she thinks she's perfect. Plus, if you know who I'm talking about, it'll give you a laugh.
Basically, I never see Angel except for when I hang around after school. She's from one of the more wealthy families in the area. You know, custom doorways, (The family is HUGELY tall, which is kind of cool.) Arcade games in the basement, lake house, jet skis, such. So, her Sweet Sixteen would be wicked awesome, if only because of the scale of it. And that's the only reason I can think of, let me tell you.
I hang around after school for the sole purpose of asking her about how I need to dress. Which is bad enough, because I don't LIKE dressing up. I like to be comfortable, not snazzy.
As it turns out, one of my friends told her about me moving my party date. So, I'm standing with a bunch of girls that I am pretty friendly with, plus Angel-puss.
*The following is in direct quotation format simply because it makes things easier for me to express. But these are not the actual words. I'd have to be some other sort of freak to remember THOSE...*
"Hey, Jordan told me you changed your party day. It's a good thing you did, or nobody would have come! I mean, AJ and will would have definitely come to my party, and then you wouldn't have any other friends to come to yours."
That's basically what she said. It doesn't matter what I said, because it was mostly sounds of dumbfounded-ment. She thinks:
1) She's the most supremely popular person in the school. Everyone likes her.
2) People like her.
2) I don't have any friends at all, other than Will and AJ.
4) My only two friends like her more than they like me.
As if it isn't bad enough that she could be so ignorant and vain all at once, she actually has the stones to say it to my face the way you might tell someone you're lactose intolerant. Wow. WOW, oh wow. I am stunned.
By the way, I quite admire Emily Williams for saying, "MATTY! Matt would DEFINITELY come to your party, Stevie!" This is supremely awesome because, for one thing, it keeps me from hitting a girl in the face, which is something I'm sure I'd regret later on in life. It's also awesome because Angel doesn't know this particular Matt, so she had to shut it while Emily and I discussed his general coolness and how I still owe him a cigarette. (private joke)
And I know that certain people read this who will know full well who I am so fervently dissing. So, I ask of you, don't talk about this. This is my public outlet, yes, but it is still a personal journal, and I can put whatever the heck I want on it. At the same time, I hate gossip and those who spread it. If I hear about this at school, I'm going to track you down. My opinion is not to be spread around unless by myself, and certainly not bent by strangers. So.
Plus, I still kind of want to go to that party, even if I end up in a corner asleep. I just love those parties, man.
Sunday. 1.6.08 4:48 pm
Saturday. 1.5.08 5:42 pm
Today has been wasted. Completely. I got an extra week for my youth group video at the cost of pushing the series back a week. I swore to myself I'd work on it a ton today because I had nothing else to do.
Well. I did nothing except fret over my 360 and keyboard.
Firstly, the 360 seems to be having some issues. It won't read the game discs. Sometimes it ignores them. Sometimes it tells me that they're unreadable. Sometimes it treats them like a DVD. (The real irony with that one is that when it happens I just get the message "To play this disk, place it in an X box 360 console." in about 8 different languages.) The most infuriating thing is when it actually works. I think it must be a software problem to be so inconsistent.
As for the keyboard...just read this.
wiseguysupreme4: I got a little obsessed with the crap in my keyboard today.
wiseguysupreme4: And I was prying off the keys one section at a time to get most of the dirt and hair and such out.
wiseguysupreme4: But when I got to the main section, I found out something important.
wiseguysupreme4: Some of the keys have metal braces that DO come off peacefully, but it's really hard getting them back on.
wiseguysupreme4: So. Never take out your shift key.
emisize: hahaha, okay.
wiseguysupreme4: And definitely NOT the spacebar.
I had something else to say, but all of a sudden I have things to do.
OH, ALSO, go to pandora.com. It will rule your world for eternity. Thank you, come again.
Time Capsule 5
Saturday. 1.5.08 2:47 pm
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