There's this one:

If girl announces in presence of other girls that she would like to date a certain boy (or girl, for that matter), that boy (or girl) is off limits to all other girls in the presence. That means: no touching, no dating, no liking. Even if one or more of the girls in the presence of the first girl like that certain boy (or girl).


Slightly related to the former is this one:

If girl has dated or been involved with a boy/girl, her friends are not allowed to date or be involved with that boy/girl.



Another one of importance is this one:

If a girl has had feelings for a boy/girl in the last few years, chances are she still has feelings for that person, whether she voices it or not. Don't risk it, ever.


And here's the last one that matters today:

If you have feelings for someone your friend who is a girl has liked, dated, been involved with, or anything of the sort, do not ask her if it is okay to like, date, or be involved with him, because she will say yes whether it is okay or not.









I hate girl rules.

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I stayed at Kristina and Mark's last night. They're some new friends of mine. We had a little get-together, and it was absolutely fantastic, until all these people that I half-way know and that Kristina and Mark have never seen or heard of before showed up. At like one in the morning, when everything was starting to wind down. That was really stressful for all parties involved, I think, cause Mark has social anxieties, I don't like one of the girls that was there, Amy was sick sick sick, Rob was trying to take care of her, and Matt just wanted everything to be under control so he could go home. Kristina just talked to them like everything was chill, but once they finally left we both said, "oh my GOD" at the exact same time, so I'm going to assume she did not appreciate their company. Especially because she announced them to be blacklisted from her house.




Annoying things: Justin brought up the time in 8th grade when my dad was manic and called his dad and asked if it would be alright if Justin and I got married. Oh jesus...

Also, I spent all last semester being a bitch to George so he would stop liking me, and then I kissed him last night. I really ought to get my priorities straight...



Anyhow, I stayed at Kristina and Mark's, and chilled with them a bit this morning. They're some of my favorite people. They're both ridiculously smart and adorable together, and they get by so well. I want to be them when I move out. Ha.


Went to lunch with Yash, then the mall to get clothes for Aca Deca, then home. I'm hanging out with her and Daniel later tonight. Weird, eh?




Anyways, I'm done. Isn't it nice to read a happy entry for once? :D

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I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna get through chemistry until they make more academic classes.

And if they don't make more that fit my schedule better, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to get through chemistry alive.











A friend of my mom's killed herself recently.






I asked Mark to go to the prom with me, but he lives 8 hours away, so he declined.





Just talked to Ryan and don't find myself yearning for him undeniably. Took me two journals, but I got over him.




The only good thing I can see about today.









One of our cats is dying. My parents are over there crying over him, but I'm pretty sure they're crying more about other things than that cat. We haven't had him for very long. Maybe it's just me, maybe I just have started disatatching myself from everything after this summer. Idk. Anyways, pretty sure my dad's crying over what he did to a certain other cat, and I know my mom's crying over Young, her friend who just killed herself.



Or maybe I'm just a heartless bitch and they really are crying over this cat. His name is Spencer but I didn't call him that once because I told my mom to name him Sniper and she thought I said Spencer but I already have a friend Spencer so that would just be weird.






I really really would like to get away from everything. I asked Parker to hang out tonight and he said after he finished his homework he would, but then he never texted me again. I did the grocery shopping as a quick fix, to feel like I was in control, but I wasn't. I'm not. I need company. I need comfort.







Darlin', some things don't work out like they should.

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Damn emotions.


Back and forth, back and forth.



I want to stay out of relationships forever.
I want to be in a relationship.

It's like a few weeks ago:

I want to kiss Steven.
I feel like I'm kissing my cousin.

I want to end things with Bryan.
I don't want to upset him.



What the hell, why isn't anything ever constant?










Because. God. I want to feel wanted, but not by someone creepy.




Been thinking about Parker a lot. It's what put me in this crappy mood.

Not really. That was a lie.





First week back, it was really shitty. But I hung out with Preston tonight, and he's going back to Baylor on Sunday, and I can think of so many reasons to date him.

And then I hung out with Amy and Rob and they're adorable, then we went to hang out with Kristina and Mark, and look, they're adorable too. I want to be in a relationship like that. I want things to come natural, and not feel forced like they did with Bryan.



Then I went to Sb's and Corina said that now she sits by Parker in some class, and he told her we went on a date recently. Which we didn't. But I wish we had. And I texted him about it and he hasn't texted back. And. Damnit.




He was always like the perfect guy that never worked out. I mean. He's totally chill, I don't feel like if we dated we would have to be around eachother 95% of the time, but I don't feel like I would be neglected. Except that I would. Because he's a dick. But.





AGH. DAMN EMOTIONS.

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Yesterday was a really pretty spring day in the middle of winter. I decided that the best thing to do would be to not waste the rarity of the day, and I hauled out my bike.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm pretty sure my bum has never been in so much pain. Except for the time I was sliding down my grandma's stairs in a sleeping bag and I hit the floor so hard it fractured my tail bone a little bit. Ouch.



Anyways, it was really fun all the same. I biked up to Sugar Brown's and met Amy there, then we biked back to her house to get picnic and art supplies. We then traveled to the park and ate food and drew pictures with pastels. After that we biked back to her house and decided to cook a delicious meal. Looking through her cook book, we thought mac-and-cheese sounded rather delicious, but then noticed that the recipe served 10-12. There was nothing to do but throw a mac-and-cheese party!

It was quite terrific, I must say.






I love those wholly innocent days like yesterday. I've learned that they can't be planned and still be fun. Amy and I tried to do one on Tuesday and just stayed up until 5:00 in the morning talking about everything in the world that made us angry.

Yesterday though, was largely spontaneous. I was at Aca Deca when I texted Amy informing her that we must have a biking adventure this afternoon. There was no real planning ahead. Only fantasticness.





-sigh-


School starts back Monday. Ugh. So much homework and such. -cries-

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Ughhhh. A whole weekend with my family, and with out SB's. I hadn't realized how addicted I've become just to being there.



And tonight is New Year's Eve. There are so many things that I could be doing, but I'm hanging out with one person. It's weird to me. I'm so torn between hanging out with him and going to a party. One of the many parties there are that I could go to. And that's really weird for me, too. Actually having options always throws me for a loop.





Christmas was a let down this year, as it always is. But yesterday I got Watchmen, and it's really great so far. I need to read for school though.







Last night Steven came over to Amy's and hung out with us for a bit. He's been really mean to me lately, and he always apologizes and tells me he doesn't know why he's mean to me, etc. I figure it's just 'cause I'm an easy target, but last night he told me he didn't think that's what it was. He said his theories weren't entirely formed yet, but once they were he would explain why he was always mean to me. My guess is that he's subconciously afraid of the fact that I love him, and actually tell him that and such, and mean it, and so he's mean to me. But then he conciously knows that what he's doing hurts so he always apologizes. Idk.


Or maybe it's just 'cause I'm an easy target.

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