i didnt try to do the fixed background...

cuz thats what messed it up to start with.



but now its mostly back to normal and whatnot, so were all good, yes?





anyways. staying home from school today. cuz i dont want to get sick halfway through the day again. that blows. and i dont like going to the nurse. so its easier to just stay home.



i will go to school tomorrow though. today is going to be boringggg.






so last night i watched beetle juice. talk about a weird movie. kinda creepy to watch at night, too. but w/e. i talked to josh alot last night too. about spiders. cuz there was a giant one in my kitchen.


im hungry and bored. i hate sick days. theyre so lame.


i want to go rent a movie. doubt my dad will take me though. and i really should save my money for amys birthday present, as her birthday is on saturday.

gahhh idk what to get her!


i was gonna get her something from savers when they had that sale on monday but nooooo, i was sick. i could just burn her a cd but then id feel like a cheap ho. not really, but id feel cheap. but hmmm. idk. ohhh i could bake her something.


yeah. baking her something. and burning her a cd. and perhaps making her an awesome card like the one she made me. except her talents far exceed mine, so my card would probably be a piece of crappp.


anyways.

im so freaking ready for this year to be over. only like, fifty something days, i think. thank goodness.





lots of rambling and its come to basically nothing.

ill leave now.

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what happened to my background?


someone please help me?

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so maybe its not finnished yet...

because i dont know how to do everything i want to...


but loooook!


i put the pictures [that i drew] in all by myself!

i figured it out!


woooooh!




can anyone tell me how to make the background picture of the entry to stay put though? like, be just one picture, not repeated.


i bet i could figure it out, im just lazy.


=]]

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still?


i dont know.


but the antibiotic for my stupid infection has tore my immune system down... so now i have a stomach bug and a cold as well. how does that work?



ill tell you how it works.


these things always happen to me. i have bad look. look? luck. i have bad luck. i mean, i guess everyone thinks that its always them, but...


its always me!


i mean, seriously. im the one last year that got ringworm all over my body.
and im the one it wouldnt leave.
im the one that has a perfect circle for a scar on my thigh, right under the soffee short line.

im the one who got ringworm again this year.
it went away this time.


im the one who has this stupid ass infection.
of which the details i will not go into.
it just causes me to be in considerable pain.



other things too. that i dont think i want to go into because they just suck too much.

and i cant remember then.


but then theres the one...
im the one who liked kris for a year and a half plus.
and im the one who got to be amazing friends with him.
and im the one who never hid anything.
im the one that was an open book.
so im the one who always told him i liked him.
and im the one who actually thought he liked me.
im the one who was dumb enough to fall for it.
even though im the one whod been talking to him for so long.
and now im the one he ignores.


and i was thinking this morning, when i was standing by myself in front of the school, and he was standing there too, with his friends, looking at me maybe sometimes, that girls complain about the guys they like not knowing they even existed.



i think its worse for him to know i exist, and just not care.

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well, boys are mentioned, but more in a general guy friend way than a hookup way.



anyhoo.


yesterday didnt start out too hot. i was just in a badddd mood. i was being so rude to my parents [which im usually not like, fyi.] and stuff, and i was just being defiant and mean.

then i think...

am i gonna turn into one of those kids who used to be so sweet and fun and content with her parents and is all of a sudden a bitchy defiant little semi-rebel?


i nearly started crying.

cuz i do not wanna turn into ashley, or into like... idk, three quarters of the population of lubbock high.


i stopped being so snobby after that.

and went to cinderella.


i saw aaron!!!


it was semi-awkward, but i love him so much, so i was like YEAHHHH AARON!!!

he was running the lights.



and i saw jake and he gave me a hug... hes really bony... it hurt my boobs... and his hair is longer than mine.


seriously.



hes the only eighth grader that noticed my haircut though.




so then, about... eight... of us piled into amy's van and drove over to her house to meet caitlin and jennifer and natalie. so it ended up being ten girls and ronnie.


talk about a party.


seriously though, i had a blast.


at the end it was me, caitlin, amy, and ronnie, past twelve, watching the end of a rerun of snl.


mmm. justin timberlake... tastyyyy.


when he has hair, anyways.


so, ronnie was scared to go home cuz it was so late, and he knew his dad would be pissed.


we had a great idea.


but ronnie was even scareder to ask to stay the night at amys with us.




so we went home.

















the end. =]

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but the problem is, i cant think of anything.


usually im just bursting w/these 'profound' ideas about life ect.


well, not usually.

just when i dont have boys on my mind.



and for a little while, i didnt.

but idk... maybe its cuz the weather is [finally] starting to warm up a little bit. you know, spring and whatnot?

or idk...

blah.


i need to watch a good movie. thats not all contemporary and dumb and all about meeting someone and falling in love and living happily ever after.

cuz those movies just stimulate the crappy relationship/hookup/boy obsession.


i needa watch something thats like little miss sunshine, but isnt...


mmm, a sundance movie. thats what ill rent.


maybe.




ols' musical is tonight. cinderella. it should be fun, to see the people that i havent seen in forever. like aaron and kash and stuart and charlie. and jake too, i guess.

man, i miss those guys.


i have no inspiration for drawings.

i do have a really good idea for a painting though. if my dad'll stretch me a canvas.



my dad just finished a really cool painting. its awesome. i was like woah dad, thats cool. cuz its not like anything hes ever done.



gahhh.



i threw up on my uggs last night. i started crying. cuz i mean. theyre my uggs. not only were they really super expensive... theyre one of the two pairs of shoes that i actually wear...






w/e. this is dumb.

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