with the help of my mom.

shes going to buy my ticket.


then i have to go in and be twenty-one for the night.



josh doesnt have any faith in me. i have faith in me.




i love how its a huge group of freshmen going.



ill let you know how it goes.

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the mika cd makes things better.


that sounds dumb and materialistic, but i swear, it does.


it makes me smile, and im able to dance to it. and im not able to dance to anything. but i can actually move to this music.


oh baby.




gaam ni chokari2: i love justin
wearenotAlONExo: me too
gaam ni chokari2: lol he is like my best guy friend
wearenotAlONExo: yeah
wearenotAlONExo: just as long as you dont start making out w/him


that would probably be alot funnier if i had actually used nutang last year.


anyhow. ive been talking to henry alot lately. flirting and whatnot. its fun.


i love crushes.

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i went to hastings today to get the mythology book for english. my parents were sitting in the green chairs waiting for me, so after i found the book i went to the music section and found the mika cd. which happened to be on sale for nine bucks.

ive been pining for this cd since it came out a week ago.


me: mom, look its on sale!
my mom: no hannah.
me: please mom, i want this cd sooo bad!
my mom: we're saving our money for california, remember?
me: but, mom, i want to get it before lots of people do.
my mom: no hannah, not right now.
me: [quiet for a while] i havent bitten my nails in over a week...
my mom: okay ill get it for you.



silly mother. shes so predictable. but so amazing.

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life seems so mundane lately.

so not worth writing about.


i mean, there are things i could write about. like how i hung out with a really cute boy for a few hours on friday. or about how im so happy to be johns best friend. or about how the weathers finally getting nice.


but it starts getting a little, repetitive, doesnt it?

i mean, im always talking about boys, or aboutt john, or about the weather. my stories only seem relevent or important to me, so writing them here seems so pointless. so boring.

like, i could write about how friday night wendy acted like herself for the first time in months. but no one knows that she hasnt been acting like herself for most of the year, so it doesnt seem worth it.


i could write about how kris actually talked to me monday, but sense he hasnt talked to me since, not even said sorry when he elbowed me in the boob, then whats the point?


i could write about how we won the boat race friday. and as i actually did write here about how i was building a boat, then why not?


we won the boat race friday!



we were rewarded with a nice big piece of homework. oh, goody.




my internet keeps disconnecting. kind of like this entry. its very disconnected.



and to continue my disconnectedness, i wrote a poem yesterday on the way home from post. i think its called drama or something, but im not sure yet.


an interconnected web of
truths
lies
and indistinguishable rumors,
not unlike
a mountain range
and comparable to
a barren
grassy
plan.

dancing to the beat
of gossip,
studying yourself in the mirror
of stereotypes,
fighting to breath in the suffocating masses
of
one.


trusting no one
but yourself.
trusting everyone
but yourself.



i used alot of irony and metaphors. literary devices are my best friends. ive really gotten into poetry lately, its fun. you can mess around with words and inflections and forget about grammar.

anyhow. this has been a really long entry for someone who has nothing to write about, hasnt it?

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this is what happens when i forget a book to read for my third period friday class...



music jam.
im sitting here
listening to the noise that
sort of
resembles
music,
bored to sleep,
before the bell
has even
rung.


a tornado
would be quite welcome
right around
now.


and if the bell
would just
keep
on
ringing
and ringing
and ringing
until i couldnt
distinguish
the harsh ring
telling us all to
'get your ass
to class'
from the constant ringing
in my ears
telling me to



'wake up'




'has it ever occured to you that you might be depressed?'

my dad pointed out to me
last night
that i never
smile
when im at home.

he said
im always sullen
and harsh

he told me
im rude
and demanding.

he suggested
that i get
counciling.



honestly,
i wouldnt be
that
surprised.



but sort of
i
would
be.

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or my youth group, i guess it would be.

especially on wednesdays.

its tiny. itty bitty.

there is one youth sponsor that comes. hes 21 and awesome.

there are four freshmen, max, that ever come. ronnie, justin, natalie, and i. usually its just ronnie and i. more often than not, just i. evan sometimes comes to dinner, but not once all year has he stayed to hang out.

there are five eighth graders that regularly attend. shelby, mackenzie, ashley, jason, and jackson.

then some sixth graders.

anyway. it is surprisingly the eighth graders that i tend to converse most with. none of them go to my school, so i can tell them anything, and ive known jackson and shelby for as long as i can remember.


so today we huddled up by the pool table and i told them about my exploits into second base.





i find it hillarious how great i feel when i can surprise eighth graders. =]

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