Ughhhh. A whole weekend with my family, and with out SB's. I hadn't realized how addicted I've become just to being there.



And tonight is New Year's Eve. There are so many things that I could be doing, but I'm hanging out with one person. It's weird to me. I'm so torn between hanging out with him and going to a party. One of the many parties there are that I could go to. And that's really weird for me, too. Actually having options always throws me for a loop.





Christmas was a let down this year, as it always is. But yesterday I got Watchmen, and it's really great so far. I need to read for school though.







Last night Steven came over to Amy's and hung out with us for a bit. He's been really mean to me lately, and he always apologizes and tells me he doesn't know why he's mean to me, etc. I figure it's just 'cause I'm an easy target, but last night he told me he didn't think that's what it was. He said his theories weren't entirely formed yet, but once they were he would explain why he was always mean to me. My guess is that he's subconciously afraid of the fact that I love him, and actually tell him that and such, and mean it, and so he's mean to me. But then he conciously knows that what he's doing hurts so he always apologizes. Idk.


Or maybe it's just 'cause I'm an easy target.

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