it was the only journal I've ever gotten more than half-way through.


and I can't find another one like it anywhere.


I got it at Urban Outfitters in Austin, TX, in July. it closes with buttons and has a pencil and a bookmark. the cover is yellow with circle birdies on it, and it's made of some sort of canvas. there was a blue one with some other design on it, that I didn't get.


if anyone knows where I can find one, please tell me. I need a place to put all my lists.


for now, I suppose I'll use my trusty nutang. I just feel bad because I'm so obsessed with making lists, but they're so much more fun to write down than to type. -sigh- here we go.



Things I Need To Buy:

^{-ACL Tickets.
-Amy's Birthday Present.
-Jordan's Birthday Present.
-A New Journal.
-Macbeth.
-A Yearbook.
-Something caffienated that I can make at home when I need to stay up late.
-Across The Universe.
-Some Interesting Movies.
-The Juno Soundtrack.
-Hook on DVD.}


Things I Need To Do:

^{-Get the first four or five things on the previous list.
-And a job.
-Have a laundro-mat day tomorrow.
-Finish cleaning my room.
-Clean the bathroom.
-Clean off my desk.
-Get the tinting off of my car.
-Stop being a dumb whore.}






Ah, I got a car, btw. It's a '91 Nissan Centra, named Caspien Simon Mcferrin. Dumbledore.







Ummm, I feel sick because I'm so naive. I should stop that.


I can't think of anything else important.


Goodnight?

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so if anyone uses myspace they know what bulletins are.



I am addicted to bulletins.


I gave them up for Lent.


but I'm in such a survey mood. so here we are:






1. Have you ever felt replaced?
story of my life, anybody?

2. Are you only friends with the rich?
um, wrong.

4. What kind of cellphone do you have?
a piece of crap.

5. Last person who called you, and what do you think about him/her?
my dad... I love him.

6. Last time you shopped at Abercrombie/Hollister?
hahahahahaha.

7. What school did you attend in elementary?
New Home and Preston Smith.

8. What scent are you wearing right now?
my deoderant....

9. How do you feel about gay marriage?
I'm all for it.

10. Do you like your school?
I don't like school in general.

11. What are you thinking about?
how great I feel right now.

12. Do you dislike liars?
haha. um yes.

14. Where did you last go out to eat?
iHop.

15. How is life going for you right now?
it's been better, but I won't complain.

16. Do you trust your best friend/friends?
which ones?

17. Do any of your best friends/friends annoy you?
oh, very much so. haha.

18. Would you get married if you could right now?
no thank you.

19. Where is your number one person on your friends list?
I'm not sure. at home or SB's, I would assume. but I don't stalk her.

20. Who was the last guy/girl you talked to in person?
my mom?

21. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
warm, please.

22. What do you wear more jeans, sweatpants, or slacks?
jeans.

23. Do fish have feelings?
DUHHHH.

25. Would you rather watch football or baseball?
those are my favorite sports to watch.

26. Do you feel like dancing?
sort of.

28. Do you burn easily in the sun?
sometimes.

30. What made you happy today?
WALKER!!!
cleaning.
finding old notes.
listening to Mungo Jerry.

31. Who were the last people to hug you at work?
nobody....

32. Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
yehhh.

34. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
Eric and KB being sillies.

35. Ever kissed a blue eyed blonde haired person?
probably so.

36. What was the best thing that happened to you last year?
life.

37. Who is the eighth person in your phone book?
Amy.

39. What would you say if your ex called you?
"how did you get my number... I haven't talked to you in like, seven months..."
woah, seven months? it's been that long since I've had an official relationship?

42. Are you currently pregnant/have you recently gotten someone pregnant?
nopee.

43. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
no ma'am.

45. Are your parents in love?
I wouldn't say they aren't.

46. Who is in your house right now?
my parents and I.

47. Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
yuh.

48. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
sometimes.

49. What color is your laundry basket?
blue.

51. Does your coat contain fur?
nope.

52. What are you listening to right now?
Mungo Jerry.

53. What are your favorite colors?
yeller.

1. Are you younger than 19?
yup.

2. Have you ever kissed someone thats name starts with a S?
yeah.
ha, I forgot about him.

3. Why dont you talk to your ex anymore?
we just don't.
also this is a stupid question for assuming that I don't talk to him.

4. Do you like the color green?
surely.

5. Do you have a crush on somebody?
sure do.

6. When is the last time that you saw your first kiss?
probably like a zillion years.

7. Have you ever eaten cooked ramen noodles?
um duhhhhh.

8. Ever eaten soap?
nope.

9. What song are you listening to right now?
I'm not. it just turned off.

10. Is there a place you would like to visit?
there are many places that I would like to visit.

11. Whats your favorite kind of dog?
ha. idk?

12. Which would you rather be a pirate or a ninja?
PIRATEEEE.

13. Have you ever fallen into a mud puddle?
yes. story of my childhood, yo.

14. Do you like winter?
not very much.

15. Does your screen name have numbers in it?
nope.

16. Are you in band?
duh.






no.

17. Do you like parties?
sure.

18. What are you scared of?
things.

19. How long have you had a myspace for?
a long time.

2O. Favorite non alcoholic beverage?
water.

21. What did you dream about last night?
everybody hated me. :[

22. If you could own a monkey, would you?
I think I'm good.

23. Do you own anything from american eagle?
yeah.

26. Favorite Disney movie?
ROBIN HOOD!

27. Have you ever been to Hawaii?
nah.

28. Do you like fruit?
mhmm

29. Your perfect ice cream would include what?
happiness and love.

30. Have you ever given a random person your number?
probably.

31. If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be?
kayla. she doesn't even deserve a capitalized name.

32. Have you ever cut class?
I did today, in fact.

33. Do you curse a lot?
probably.

35. What is the first line of the theme song from Fresh Prince?
"now this is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down"

36. What are you excited for?
my room being clean.

37. Are you an artist?
sometimes.

38. Do you have an addiction?
bulletins. ha.

39. Have any talents?
English.

40. Favorite swear word?
ha.

41. How many pillows do you usleep with?
Idk.

42. Do you like smores?
yeah, I guess so.

43. Do you like someone right now ?
yeah.

44. Does he or she like you back ?
nope.

45. What do you miss?
lots of things.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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and this is what I wrote:



<sup>Today I ate lunch with a senior I didn't know all that well. I wasn't looking forward to it much. I thought it would be awkward and that he was weird. It was, but he's not. I need to stop judging people. It's not a fair thing to do. I probably push so many people away, people that I would really appreciate in my life.

I did that to Kyle last year, when he went to my school. I really regret that. NOt because I think something may have happened between us, but because he's a PERSON. I just couldn't get it through my head that he has feelings, and should have been appreciated and respected. I'm a bitch, but at least I realize this.</sup>




I wrote more, but that's the main part. It makes me really ashamed of myself. I pride myself on being open-minded and accepting, yet there are many many instances which I can recall that I have not been open-minded and accepting at all. Some of these people I have ended up very good friends with.

Some of them I have realized too late that I want to get to know them.


I'm ready to change that. I hope.

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"Fuck you. I'm sorry I'm not quite 'scene' enough to be part of your 'group', but I was 'scene' long before you were. I was listening to music you hadn't heard of two years ago, when you were still a 'hippie'.


I miss you being a 'hippie'.

Even though it wasn't the 'real' you, at least you were actually nice to me.



But you've been an asshole ever since I can remember, and I've known you all my life, so what was I expecting?

Well, I want you to fuck off and let me hang out with my best friend with out you sometimes, too. Don't forget that you fucked her up, and I've never done anything to her.




And you know what, just because I don't know everything about everything, DOESN'T MEAN YOU DO EITHER. STOP PULLING SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASS AND LEARN YOUR FACTS ONCE IN A WHILE, OKAY?! It's immature, and you're immature. And don't tell me I'm immature because I'm saying this, because at least I can tell what you're doing, and I'm not one of the people that lets myself practically fall in love with you because you wear that stupid baseball tee and have that stupid haircut and shop at American Apparel and Threadless and Urban Outfitters.




You're just a stupid scene kid."










The sad thing is, when I'm with him and not Amy, I can find myself practically falling in love with him just like everybody else.

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Today was the weirdest day of my life...

Not really. I mean, maybe. But it was really really weird.


^{mysweethannahlee (10:55:57 PM):
i got four hours of sleep and was hyper all day.
buddy was actually nice to me. i had choo-chai. i got a makeover.
i went to hooters?!
i went to yashvi's and left before i could have chai.
i went to sb's and had chai?
i read a book in almost entirely ebonics.
i proposed that we feed the ducks while streaking.
i hung out with a senior i don't even know.
i hooked up with kris after 2 1/2 years of waiting.}





Probably my favorite part would be the proposal which I made.


Jordan: I'm bored.
Corina: Let's feed the geese!
Hannah:While streaking!
Sarah: How would we do that?
Hannah: We would tie bags of goosefeed with holes in them to our ankles...
Sarah: And the geese would follow us!
Corina: It would be like a parade!



Jordan didn't appreciate it...




That's all I feel like talking about. :]

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