i know i am liked.

people like me.

im friends with lots of people.








it doesnt feel like it this weekend though.

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but first im hanging out with john.

boy do i miss that kid. i need to catch up on his dating-amanda/bitch-ness.


and then were going to j&b, and henry and evan and amy and caitlin and possibly other people will be there.

itll be a partyyy.


we shall drink coffee and discuss politics.






or maybe just drink coffee...






only fourty days till schools out.


hiphip hooray!

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i got my ears pierced again. its fucking awesome.

but one of them is swelled up so not so much. but i finally got it loosened up, like the stud, so maybe the swelling will go down.


anywayy. my dad stretched me a little canvas, and yesterday i was doodling in human geography and came up w/a really great idea for the canvas. so i started painting today... it looks like a third grader did it.


anyhow, this is a rough idea of the picture as its drawn. its a three bar [?] rainbow, with the first bar red, the second white, and the third red. theres clouds all across the bottem of it, and theyre outlined in blue, and there are fifty blue stars inside of it. in the empty space between the arch and the cloud i drew a few dollar signs and drew clouds around them. i colored in the space that wasnt cloud black, in the arch/cloud section. then i wrote at the top "the 'magical' land underneath the rainbow of stars and stripes."


safa saw it and was like 'awh, thats cute!'

its not supposed to be cute... its supposed to make a statement... like, the clouds w/money in them are smog clouds, saying we make money off of smoke and smog and power and death.

we were watching movies about how the worlds going down hill with the help of our love affair with the automobile... thats what came out of it.


a very awesome picture, and a very crappy painting.

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like, really.


who else agrees?

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they sort of make me want to cry, too, though.



this is a slight paraphrase of the conversation i had with henry last night.


henry: so do you like anybody?
me: yeahhh.
henry: ohh who?
me: hmm... idk if i can tell you that.
henry: come on. im your friend, right?
me: this is true.
henry: so tell me!
me: but if i do, ill feel guilty, because he has a girlfriend.
henry: is it chris?
me: noooo.
henry: angelo?
me: haha, no.
henry: then i dont know!
me: looks like youre out of luck.
henry: unless... is it me?
me: idk.
henry: oh, well, thats okay, i like you too.
me: huh? _{[[<--notice the confusion at him liking me while he has a girlfriend. notice the confusion at him liking me at all.]]}
henry: what? wait... do you like me?
me: didnt we just go through all of this?
henry: thats what i thought, but when you said huh i thought you didnt like me and i got confused.
me: oh, lol. well, i do like you. but im still confused about what you said.
henry: why?
me: well, dont you have a girlfriend?
henry: yes, but that doesnt mean i dont think youre pretty or funny or anything else. ^{[[<--awesome compliment number one]]}

LATER.

henry: hannah, can i tell you something and you not tell anyone else, please? _{[[<--i told my mom and yashvi and who ever reads this. i feel bad because he said please, but at least i havent told everyone in the school.]]}
me: of course.
henry: youre a very likable person. ^{[[<--awesome compliment number two. best compliment i think ive ever gotten. because he didnt just say that im pretty, which i get alot from a few specific guys, and he didnt just say that im cool, or funny, or w/e. he said im likable. as a whole. i dont know why that made me feel so good, maybe just because it was coming from him, but it did. alot.]]}
me: awh, thank you!
henry: its almost a bad thing. well, i dont mean... nvm.
me: what? no, you cant leave me hanging! you already started, now you have to finish.
henry: well, you just make me think about things that i shouldnt think about.
me: uhoh, henry, impure thoughts.
henry: you naughty girl, thats not what i meant!
me: i know, i know what you mean.
henry: we just think alike. its cool. ^{[[<--awesome compliment number three.]]}

anyhowwwwwww. and today after school he gave me a hug. i was happy.



im easily pleased.



but the thing is, i like him alot. but i dont want him to dump bonnie for me. and i dont want bonnie to dump him and me be his rebound. and i dont want him to cheat on her with me, because i like him not only for his amazing looks but for his awesome personality as well, and wouldnt that kind of blow a hole in the whole personality thing?


yeah. it would.

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ill never hold you back
and i wont force my will.
i will no longer do the devils wishes
something i read on a dollar bill.
the paper tiger cant
tell you where he stands.
we'll go back tonight the way we came.
im not dumb just wanna hold your hand.

so alright
where we want to be.
so alright
i thought we could be.

so alright
where we want to be.
so alright
i thought we could be.


we could go kick down some doors together
stay out till morning
sharp as knifes.
the new war will get you
it will not protect you
but i will be there with you when you turn out the light.
i will be there with you when you turn out the light.
i will be there with you when you turn out the light.



just a little something before easter...


wearenotAlONExo: what are you doing for easter?
passtcold: eating bunnies?
wearenotAlONExo: wow
passtcold: what u dont eat bunny jerky on easters?
wearenotAlONExo: no...
wearenotAlONExo: once my dad made bunny stew
wearenotAlONExo: out of our pet rabbits
wearenotAlONExo: i was pissed
passtcold: r u serious haha?
wearenotAlONExo: yeah
passtcold: thats funneh
wearenotAlONExo: yeah
wearenotAlONExo: kinda depressing now that i think about it...

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