Last night I went over to Katharine's house, where we painted murals on her wall and ate Lemon Verbena Berry flavored cottage cheese. Way cool. I painted a neat muffin that looked more like a cupcake, so I had to paint "muffin." beneath it. Then Katharine's exchange student (not like she owns Caroline, but you know...) came in and was like "oh... wow... I like the muffin..."

Yes!!!


I also found out last night that Amy and I are leaving for Austin on Sunday... by ourselves!!! That will be so ridiculously exciting, I kid you not. We're staying through Thursday, and seeing some free SXSW shows, as well as shopping and whatnot. And she has a huge station wagon, so I'll be able to buy tons of stuff and bring it home. I want to get something totally off the wall and outrageous, like a piercing or a haircut. Hmm. Who knows? We'll see.

Today in French we were working on our debates. I went to sit by Fernando, cause he's my partner, and we overheard Clare and Gia working on their debate, which is about girls and boys being friends with eachother. Then we used algebraic expressions to prove that while Clare is best friends with Ralphy and Ralphy is best friends with JoJo, Clare is not indirectly best friends with JoJo. First I just said that there's no such thing as indirect best friends, then I really got into the math of it. It was really fun. Excerpt?

Nick: C + R = BFF and R + J = BFF, thus C + J must = BFF.

Me: No, because the BFFs hold different values. They're different ordered pairs!

I then proceeded to draw a graph, where lines C and lines J were parrallel, and both intersected line R, but at different points on line R.



Good Lord it was brilliant!



Tonight Frank Warren came to Lubbock for Post Secret, and Mark got me and Amy tickets. I was super psyched, and it was really awesome, but then I realized I'd left my book at home and couldn't get it signed. I was sad. But it was still way awesome.




Hmmm. 2 days of school until spring break, then only 10 weeks of my junior year left! So awesome!!!


That's all for now. :]

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

The only things that ever happen to me have to do with boys, and writing about that seems so lame to me.



I still don't know if I got into WashU for the summer, but I do know I didn't win anything at the Academic Decathlon State meet, most likely due to the severe lack of sleep I got last weekend. I still have next year, but without Katelyn and Kodwo and Geoff, and even Will (for a scapegoat), nothing will be the same. Also, the science is chemistry, and that disgusts me.


Good news is, though, I have fifth period opens now! That means sleeping in every other day!

The other good news is that I only have 11 weeks of school left until I'm a senior. Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah! And if I don't get accepted into WashU for the summer, I'll get a job at this locally owned health food store, bike there every morning, and be off by six. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet!



Also, I've moved on from Matt to bigger and better things that I can't have. All of these boys are intelligent and not total dickweeds. They are also totally unattainable. It's terrific!






That's it. :]

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Tomorrow I must be up at 430, but it's most definitely almost midnight right now.





I love doing this kind of shit. :]

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

a book I would recommend to a friend, and why. It would be much appreciated if you would read my essay and critique it to your hearts content. I'd love to get into this program if I could.




(someday, a real and happy entry will come)




This book will change your life. I know, I know, a hefty amount of people claim that very thing about a hefty amount of books. Self-help books and their advocates are the main culprits of this crime, but Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn, could not reasonably be called a "self-help" book. Instead, it should be categorized as a "self-destroy" book. It will not encourage you to eat better, or to run more often, or to get your life together by being more organized. It will not inform you that, to live a complete and whole lifestyle, you must get a job, become part of the nuclear family, and live in a three or four bedroom two story house. Ishmael will not tell you to do any of this to change your life. Instead, this book will make you question your reasons for ever even considering doing those things.

The book is the namesake of, not the main character, but his teacher, who happens to be a gorilla who speaks the English language quite fluently. This gorilla has not had an easy life, but his life has not been the difficult one of an ape surviving in the wild. Ishmael is taken from his mother when he is very young, and "raised" by humans, a seemingly more distinguished family of primates. Ishmael is obviously not treated as a human; he is, after all, not one. The treatment he is subjected to affords him a unique point of view. As a creature with a mind just like that of a human, but a body lacking the ability to participate in society, he is free to see the faults within this society that shuns him. With this new found skill he pinpoints the problem with human culture: our desire to play God. We are not satisfied with merely living on the earth He created, we must live to our own full capacity. Death must be destroyed and if there is to be death at all, it is not God who decides which creature must die, but human beings. In doing this we have destroyed not death, but life. We have killed shamelessly and we have tortured the one planet capable of sustaining us to almost the point of no return. We listen as "Mother Culture" whispers in our ears to consume without a thought for the consequences, and ignore the consequences that we invoke. And we will continue to do so until enough of us realize what we are doing.

Ishmael the Gorilla, though, does not exist in our reality, so teaching this lesson is up to those few who have realized our faults. It is a daunting task, and possibly that is why we find it so easy to ignore the faults. To see them is to need to tell others about them, and others really just don't want to listen. So as others close their ears and we close our mouths, we close our eyes as well. We look at the alternate reality, where our faults do not exist, and where we can go on eating better, running more often, and being organized. We believe in a world where, to live a complete lifestyle, we need only to get a job, create a nuclear family, and live in a three or four bedroom two story house. It takes a rather strong force to jar us back to the true reality, where we must do so much more to live comfortably. Ishmael is such a force.

This book will change your life, but it will not answer your questions. Instead, this book will make you ask them.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Run away from gossip. From mistakes. From people that make me feel awkward and people that make me feel sad. Run away from failure. Run away from embarassment. Run away from letting people down.



Run away from all the bad decisions I've made, and from all the ways I can't fix them. Run away from a messy room and live out of a messy car. Run away from needing to get somewhere, from needing to be someone.



I want to pick up leave. I want to camp out in the middle of nowhere, somewhere I've never been. I want to shed any reputations I may have created for myself, and meet new people who don't give a fuck. I want to stop giving a fuck.


I want to dream big and sleep well.
I want to create something beautiful and wonderful, but not for myself and not for anyone else. I want to do it for it to be done.



I love my friends, but I'm tired of them. The only one I'm not tired of, I get the feeling is growing out of me.

I'm not growing up and I don't know why.














_{-apologizes for the extra depressed sounding entries lately. I'm most poetic and prolific when I'm feeling bad, so that's the only time I feel like writing-}

Comment! (0) | Recommend!