i woke up today to a perfectly dry lubbock.


no puddles or anything.


lots of worms though. ewh.



then at lunch it was sprinkling a bit. and at sunset there was a massive rainbow.



so, my day. i actually have some stuff to talk about.


woke up extremely late, after eight, even though i went to bed at ten last night, with a really bad throatache. went to dance and got stuck with the short loud obnoxious girl kim for a salsa partner. she cant salsa [not that i can either] and stepped on my toe.

ipc i pretty much zoned out, because we were talking about cars and stuff mostly the whole time.

before lunch, something happened. something big. something surprising. something random and confusing.



kris came and talked to me.

i was the only one standing out there, since my ipc class is right next to the west doors, and he came out early, too. and he came and talked to me.


voluntarily. i didnt talk to him first or anything.


he came and talked to me.


in lunch we talked about preschool, because four of us all went to the same one. good times. i was a drama queen back then. no one really remembers me, though.

then during theater my congestion started getting really really bad and i had to say my monolouge, which is really really long, so i was kind of embarresed. but we were just practicing, and i said it for mrs. crawford, and she asked if i was planning on auditioning for anything next year. i told her no because my throat tended to close up and my voice tended to get really high and i tended not to get parts. and she said 'well, its your choice, but you have some really good natural talent.'

that made me feel good.


anyhow, towards the end of last period i started shaking really bad and my head started hurting... the whole thing... my ears and my face and my temples and everything. and then i went over to ksenia and she was like 'why are you stuttering?' and i asked her to feel my arm and she said that it was really hot.


sooooo i went outside and i was talking to natalie and justin, and they asked why my lips were blue. so i freaked out and put my hands over my mouth and they were like 'oh my god, your fingernails are blue too!' and then i almost started crying.



uhhh, faught w/my dad after school when he picked me up, and thats about it.


sorry this is really crappy, but im tired and sick. i think i might have mono or something.

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my backyard.

the streets.

the park.



covered in water.


the rain is like a hormonal teenager... one minute itll be falling nice and softly, hardly even misting... a few seconds later, you can hear it on the roof even with the sound on your music turned up full blast.



its tornado weather.

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the breakfast club right now.


like noooo other.


but i left it at amys house in like, december. when we watched brokeback mountain and i was pissed about kris. i didnt like it very much at the time, but i think thats because compared to brokeback mountain it kind of sucked.


anyway. even my mother loves that movie. thats how amazing it is.

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ive never done that before.






im happy again.


finally.

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we hooked up.



mmm.


second base baby.




my boobs are no longer virgins.











i deffinetly have alot to say now.



but crap, i dont know how to say it!

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those happy but sad days.

and the wanting to talk but not having anything to say.



my vocabulary and sentence construction today has been exceptional, and i have no way to show it off.



because i have nothing to say.



ive been reading peoples blogs on myspace, and it makes me feel...

i dont know.



they only blog when somethings going on in their lives. something big, important, profound.


there isnt really anything, big, important, or profound going on in my life right now.


i mean, theres the whole josh thing. but im not going to say anything about that on a blog.



i want to write something big, important, and profound, and i want to use big, important, and profound words, and i want to feel good about what i write.




but all that comes out is shit.

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