but the problem is, i cant think of anything.


usually im just bursting w/these 'profound' ideas about life ect.


well, not usually.

just when i dont have boys on my mind.



and for a little while, i didnt.

but idk... maybe its cuz the weather is [finally] starting to warm up a little bit. you know, spring and whatnot?

or idk...

blah.


i need to watch a good movie. thats not all contemporary and dumb and all about meeting someone and falling in love and living happily ever after.

cuz those movies just stimulate the crappy relationship/hookup/boy obsession.


i needa watch something thats like little miss sunshine, but isnt...


mmm, a sundance movie. thats what ill rent.


maybe.




ols' musical is tonight. cinderella. it should be fun, to see the people that i havent seen in forever. like aaron and kash and stuart and charlie. and jake too, i guess.

man, i miss those guys.


i have no inspiration for drawings.

i do have a really good idea for a painting though. if my dad'll stretch me a canvas.



my dad just finished a really cool painting. its awesome. i was like woah dad, thats cool. cuz its not like anything hes ever done.



gahhh.



i threw up on my uggs last night. i started crying. cuz i mean. theyre my uggs. not only were they really super expensive... theyre one of the two pairs of shoes that i actually wear...






w/e. this is dumb.

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dang im pissed.



so remember how i said i was gonna hook up w/josh today?



well, even if you didnt, it doesnt matter.



because it didnt happen.


i swear to god, its fate. if he [or anyone] mentions anything about kissing, going on a date, having lunch, ect ect ect, something will be in the way.


like, when we were supposed to hook up that first time, during lunch. he had a sore throat, so he didnt wanna get me sick.


and this morning, i woke up at 3 and had to go to the er.

obviously, my parents wouldnt let me go to school.

but w/e.

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congratulations confusion.



i think youve won.




i feel like i belong in a shakespeare play... with all the triangles and confusion and everything else.



seriously though.....


theres a long story that i will tell once my myspace inbox stops being dumb.





yeah.





okay, i decided not to use that story.



but lets just say, i think tmro=hook up w/josh.

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gag me with a rotten moldy clementine jabbed onto a rusty and bent spork.





thank you.

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harken to the past, anyone?
after the recent plot of land fire, i started thinking about good old new home, the place where the volunteer fire department came from, and the place i spent so many of my years.

so i looked up the schools website on google.

and i found it.

and i found the class pictures.

for the freshman class.



wow.

talk about a flashback.



***









i mean, home life, yes. if i dont get what i want, i have the tendancy to scream and be defiant and sarcastic and door slamming, then lie on my bed sobbing because they just dont understand me.


yes, that was a jab at myself. and yes, that is true.


but relationship wise, no. i mean, ill be kinda upset, but ive gotten alot more practical this year.

anyhoo...



our farm caught on fire today.



but yay for the new home volunteer fire dept!

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and im not sure why.

i just know that...


im really excited for my dads art show. [march 2nd at ladiosa cellars if anyone else lives in lubbock.]
im really excited for college [even though its like, four years away.]


my moms finally gonna get me drivers ed.


but now im getting tired.




yeah, i had coffee with a chunk of chocolate and alot of sugar in it.



ive been wired since like, 830.

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