don't build me a house.

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^{THIS ANGRY!!!}









he was supposed to come hang out in austin.

hmph.




otherwise, austin was amazing. i don't really like recapping trips, but i might later on, if anyone wants me to.

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my faith a lot lately.


The more I think about it, the less logical it seems.

I mean... God. Okay, nice idea. But where did He come from?
And I've always believed in God. But, then, Yashvi's always believed in her gods, and Muslims have always believed in Allah.

Who's to say which one of those, if any of them, are "true"?
That's the thing. It all seems so... made up. Just a story told to pacify the people.

It creeps me out. I've never really questioned the existence of God in my life. He's always just... been there.

But I don't know. He seems imaginary.

But then I was thinking today, an imaginary friend does as much good for a little kid as, and maybe even more than, a "real" friend can. So maybe religion is just the world's greatest imaginary friend.

And maybe I'm just growing out of mine.

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i always try to make something cool and amazing and crafty, but i get so frustrated that i end up crying and buying them something.


this year stephen had a specific request: a stuffed penguin with a tophat.

alright, i told him. he's my best friend, and if that's what he wanted, that's what he was getting.


where in lubbock do you find a penguin sized top hat?
no where.
i have to make him one.

we have no fabric glue, so i'm sewing it.




i'm on my third attempt... it's driving me up the wall. but he's my best friend, and he's getting the penguin with the damn top hat, so help me god.












tomorrow is his birthday. i could really use some fabric glue around now...

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People really underestimate the word "no."

How?

My favorite example is the dress code.

I was badly sunburned at a mandatory golf tournament on Thursday and would not like anything touching the backs of my knees. This is why, on Friday, I seriously considered wearing a pair of entirely dress code innapropriate shorts to school.

Obviously, I couldn't. I would be either sent home to change or sent to ISS.

But this got me thinking. What if I had worn the shorts, and been told to go home or go to ISS. Could I not just tell them "no"?

They, the authority, could tell me to go home and change, but I could refuse to do that. So they would tell me to go to ISS, which I could also refuse. What could they do then? They couldn't drag me to the ISS room; they couldn't legally lay a finger on me. They couldn't physically force me to wear longer shorts.

Someone pointed out to me that they could, however, suspend me. The threat of that would scare me into changing clothes.

Okay, this is trickier. When I was first told this, I lost faith in my argument. "No" only works up to a point. But I realized that all suspension is is a document. That document doesn't create a force field keeping me away from the school. If I were to be suspended, I could still drive to school (although I have no license, but, obviously, if I'm destroying the power of documents, I don't need a license), park, and walk inside the building.

Then, my friend told me, I could be arrested. This is wear my argument faltered. If you refuse to be arrested, the police have the "right" to abuse you. They have this "right" simply because they say "no." They disregard the rules and take advantage of their power, and in this way prove my argument correct.

Obviously, in a true life situation, this would never work. I am lacking in the courage required to exert this power, and I am not the only one.

If, say, every girl in my grade were to wear shorter shorts on the exact same day, and every girl who did this were to refuse to change or go to ISS, then the authority would have a problem on it's hands. But not every girl would do that. People are afraid of the power that the authority has, even though this very fear is the only reason said authority has any power.

People are only powerful because we make them that way.
People underestimate the power of themselves and their language.







Wow. I know that was really inconsistent, but it's the first thing that isn't boy/drama related that I've written here in a longgg time.
I'm proud!

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I met this guy Monday night.

He keeps calling me.


He's really creepy.




He asked me to go to Germany with him.


Again. I met him. Monday. Night.







Seriously.



I have nothing else to say, it creeps me out too badly.

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