Okay, so I just invited a few NuTangers to G+! HOORAY! *me excited* There is so much going on in G+, it's getting better and better everyday, the people are grrrreat, and I just can't wait to share it with you guys and the world!

Not everyone though. Current G+ers are mature & intelligent. I really don't want to watch this utopia descend into the Facebook abyss once it is officially opened. I would be happy to have certain people stay on Facebook.

What I am apologizing about:

I realized that inviting someone automatically lets them know my email address. I am...a bit uncomfortable with sharing that beyond NuTangers that I've known for a while. Yes, that means I didn't invite a few people who asked for an invite. >.< I'm very sorry! If any of the people I just invited are okay with it and want to invite the two people I didn't, please comment below so I can let them know. Or something.

Again, I am very very veryveryveryvery sorry. =(

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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BONES
I want to go out. I want to go out at night. Oh no, I don't mean out all night and returning at midnight. Just...I wanna go to a cafe and people watch. I want a friendwith me. I'm lonely. I don't wanna be by myself. It's boring. I want somebody, anybody.

Maybe I want somebody to care where I am. Mybe that's it. TO care about me. There's no one to do that.

with silent tears dwn an unemotional face, no smiles, no laughter,
theDot




--It wasn't that we had a fight. More like she was happy-go-lucky talking over the phone a mile a minute and I was sitting there listening. Half about to yell at me, half laughing-joy. I guess the anxiety in me as I waited, the harsh slap or finally the thing I had wanted for so many years, built up and when neither came, it shook me.

I'm getting tired of waiting. That breathless shaking, thudding heartbeat inside, waiting for the dam to break--either for happiness or sadness. Total opposites, wondering which awaited me?




BTW: Don't kill me over the drama. I was watching 2046. ^-^'' XD Neh-neh-neh-neh! =P Though everything I wrote was true.

Plugs: Praetorian, ranor, LostSoul13, Kuri, crz4manga, invisible

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Three months since Daddy _____. I entered a state of denial after we handed the apartment over. I can't look at the all photos I took that day so I transferred them to my laptop and deleted them from my phone. I don't think of my dad except in random spurts. I don't look at his picture as often and I don't check on his phone even though there are many notifications. I don't talk to him or about him.

Denial is a truce between me and Death.

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Oh, my. Quite a while since I've made an entry...>.> Don't kill me! *staves off swords* We A-okay? *you nod* Okay!

Last Monday=>Beach. Not much fun really. Played volleyball. Sorta.
Night before Monday=stayed over at C's house. She asked if he like me, said no, doesn't know me well enough. =P She said 'Okay, be my boytoy'. He said 'WTH?', she called him boytoy--bt for short. C left multiple crazy messages in hi voicemail hours later. Angry, sad, estatic, sings 'Twinkle, twinkle little star', excited, humble. One after another. >.> I told you she was a maniac!

Oh, and I wasn't caught offguard, shocked or sad by his response. Just getting my sealegs back after being hyped up by C about making him a bf. *eyeballroll* Okay, so he's out. Though she insists that we shoukld hang out more so he gets to know me better and thus...you get my drift. This coming from the girl who spilled soup on him because she said he was gettting on her nerves for no reason. Which, by the way, did nothing but get ME wet and sticky instead of HIM. >.> Cuz he pushed the cup away to his left=me. And the girl says she doesn't like him--hates him. *shrug* Though of course, there's also the possiblity that he lied cuz it was her who asked. Eh, whatever.

Last two weeks=>stayed over at my grandmother's every night. *sigh* No internet connection. No nothing. Double-negative, I know. Shut up. XP *blows raspberrry*
Played DDR twice at C's house. Stayed over once. Stayed for dinner once. May go there more this summer.

*siiigh* typing quikly cuz it's my friend's computer and she wants a hotdog for JulyFourth. >.> Gotta go.

Peace.
theDot

p.s. @randomjunk, crzmanga: I AM NOT EMO! *blows raspberry* Okay, I was then. Sorta. Shut up!
Nuttz is so much better than meanie random. Nuttz-dear, is nice and sympathetic. Hmph. *blowkiss to Nuttz* XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Oh, dear. I won;t do that again. Too Kuri-like. XD =P

Plugs: bluetopaz, chloefoxx, Nuttz, LostSoul13, randomjunk, crzmanga

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My mother's a fuckin' bitch. What the hell is up her nose this time? She's all huffy and accusing over the phone. Yelling at me for for God knows what. What the fuck is wrong with her? I don't know what the hell she's mad at.

God. Fuck. It's friggin' messed up. *kick*

theDot

Plugs: everybody

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I'm at a crossroads
about to make
the most important decision in my life thus far.

How far will I go?
The farthest I can!
Will my dreams come true?
One step at a time and we shall see!

I have hope like I never had before.
It makes me excited!
I am eager to get started.
But to do so means leaving the life I've always known behind.

My stomach is in knots because I know I will travel this road alone for a time.
Most of all, after all these years of trying to be a good daughter to earn my mother's love, I must leave her.
She does not support my dream. She does not believe I will succeed.
In many ways she is the source of constant negativity in my life.
But I do not hate her for it.
I am not leaving because of it; that is not a good enough reason.
I am leaving because this is what I want and I need to take responsibility for my life.

Will you give me your blessings?
Will you wish me a fair journey?
Will I have you to come back to when I need encouragement or just to talk?
I think it would be nice to have you be a part of my journey, however large or small a part.

I have no fear of failure.
There is only one choice when we are out of choices, and that is to continue living. Only this will give us more choices, different roads to take.
After I have learned and lost,
I will choose another.
After I have learned and gained,
I am strengthened, replenished, and ready to continue traveling.

I know hard times await me.
I am ready to do my best and work through it.

My journey starts today.
Part I begins.

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The dot has gone mainstream.

Yes, it's sad, but true. No, I haven't gone crazy and gotten a myspace. THe dot has now got a Facebook. *background shrieking* Oh. My. Gawd.

Obviously I won't tell you because it's too close to home. And too easy for Dilated to start stalking me. And for randomjunk to send packages of evil cackling hamburgers to me. Obvious reasons.

I'm actually liking it. For now anyway. I'm finding all these people I've lost connection with. I'll probably lose interest in a week, month or two. Not like the 'Tang. ;)

Don't worry, you guys. The land of dot is always happy, kinda like lalaland. Like I said, I should be commited. ^-^

Lala ta-ta!
theDot

Plugs: randomjunk, crz4manga, xxallenemiesxx, Nuttz, LostSoul13, invisible, Dilated

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