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personal growth [t]
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Asian racism [t]
Eye, eye, cap'n
Tuesday. 11.24.09 8:59 am
That reminds me, I wanna eat Cap'n Crunch.
Anyhoo. I woke up with one of my eyes swollen shut. I freaked out. I thought my eye might be messed up for good. I was so scared. Both eyes were blurry at first, but one started clearing up way faster than the other one. The one that didn't seemed to have some obstruction blocking my view. Do you know how scary that is? It's fuckin' scary, that's what. Especially when I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water everywhere and I just couldn't see through that eye. It scared the living daylights outta me. I put my finger on my eyeball and I could feel it was rough and bumpy. That's not how an eyeball should feel! Freaked me out even more. But then eventually, I was able to remove the obstruction and now I'm just swollen.
I was supposed to have a presentation this morning. Obviously I couldn't make it. Contrary to my Asian mother's beliefs, I doubt I could have dared crossing the street with blurry watery swollen eyes. I'm glad I didn't try. My eyes are better now, but I doubt it would have been in time for class. My first is already way past half over. I only have two classes today.
Ay...back to bed. Hope for the best = not so swollen by the next time I wake up.
Btw: I didn't sleep until 5am working on that presentation / proofreading the papers of two other classmates also due today. Great how that worked out for me.
F*ckin' bad mood
Friday. 7.17.09 11:08 am
So today there was an outing scheduled. After the meeting, of course. Unfortunately, I was late to the meeting and they started to leave after I arrived. I usually get to go to these things. But not once did my boss mention it to me the whole twenty-five min. she was here. She kept talking to people telling them "We've got to go!" like a soccer mom and left me a few reminders like I was the babysitter.
But I know what she was thinking. I don't get to go bc I was late. What is she, my mother?? A kindergarten teacher?
Now, before I got there I had shot her a text message: "On the train. Sorry, overslept from meds." I wonder what those meds were for? The f*ckin' back pain. The first f*ckin' time I've ever had back pain. I'm f*ckin' nineteen fer god's sake. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE BACK PAIN. Why, you ask? Because of my f*ckin' job.
Just this Tues. I pulled an all-nighter for the deadline the next day. By-the-way, the deadline was 5pm the next day or postmarked by midnight that day. But my boss made me stay to finish absolutely everything. So I got home after 5am. Five AM Wednesday morning. Ohayo.
And then yesterday, Thursday evening? I start getting back pain. Nice. And I have to stay an extra hour to write out stupid checks. About twenty-plus of them. Me very happy. Then I come in to work today and find out nineteen of those checks were not used/needed. Me even happier!
congratulations are in order.
Tuesday. 10.6.09 3:13 am
i can say "i learned how to pull an all-nighter in my freshman year of college." first time, not for school. tonight=second time, yes. research paper due tomorrow morning at 9:40am. wish me luck.
second thing i want to mention, i went out to get pizza at twelve oh seven am. i got it, sauntered out, wind blew, and the box flew out of my hands. upside down on the pavement. fortunately, it fell with the top down and closed. slices were safe inside. whew.
third, RANDOM, no one is to read this blog from your real life, NO ONE, not even the short-haired cutie you introduced to me. NO. ONE. if she has read anything, tell me now, please. please. matter of privacy. it's important that i know if she or anyone has. thanks.
Oh, and second teeth extraction is tomorrow. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-k. I mean today. Gah.
Tuesday. 12.15.09 1:43 am
This may seem like just another overblown netizen argument about 'copycat-ing' or what not. Beneath the superficiality, prejudice/'competition' between asians, and national pride is the topic of identity. Take the time to freeze the frames of this video and take a good look at what modern young adults (who will shape our future) are saying. Think of how it relates to you or the people you know. It definitely opened my eyes. One thing I know for sure: I am NOT ashamed of my race nor will I ever be.
Take a look at this for ongoing intelligent discussion: Cfensi
This has actually even changed how I feel when I listen to Korean music. It's not just all fun any more, there's the slightest bit of discomfort. Even when listening to Gee! (Which I started to love because Zheng Shuang actually danced to it for a variety show and was so naturally innocent, sweet and cute while doing it. ^-^)
I posted this on Facebook through YouTube at 5am in the morning.
Btw, I'm pulling another all-nighter. =/ Oh, finals. Glad this semester's almost over.
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