@etheracide: I don't mind getting belated advice. Lay it on me!
@thaitanic: I'm getting a stipend of $200 a week.
@randomjunk: Not all internships have this kind of schedule. I'm just unlucky. =/
@The-Muffin-Man: Danke for the kudos. I'm da man! You da muffin!
@Nuttz: True. I do have little over a week to play. =)

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My freedom that is.

For some reason, just knowing I'm free
gives me the strength
the mind
the patience
the impatience
to get things done.

This...
attitude is what I needed
back during the college semester itself
but was sorely lacking.

I wonder why.

Why?

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This is supposed to be a blog badge or widget
whatever you call it
that will show my upcoming trips or what not.
Of course, I no longer have mods so...here it is: an entry. =P

Okay, never mind.
It's a div thing and apparently,
those don't work in the entries.
Whatever.

So anyway, my trip is from Aug 15-25. Yes, ten days. Why?
Bc the internship is ten weeks long
ending on Aug 13
my mom got vacation starting Aug 15
Fall semester starts on Aug 26.

That's why.

Now can anyone tell me why divs don't work in here and thus, made me type all that^?

------------------------

I forgot to say...
my trip is to
(drumroll please)
Hong Kong!

I haven't been there in years.
Time to try out my Chinese skills in an actual Chinese-speaking country!
Oh, to see me olde friends again...
(though none of us are actually old)
(I'm the oldest and I'm turning 20 this Friday =/)

OMG, I'm turning twenty.
Gulp.

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I'm sorry I haven't been around. =(

What little social media activity I do are on G+ or Twitter these days. And most of those are re-shares or re-tweets.

I really should get into the habit of keeping a diary and actually writing an entry a day, if not more. There's so much going on and I feel like I might want to reminisce one day...which is kinda hard to do if you don't remember anything. A diary would be real helpful then. ;) And it would be good to see how much I've changed, hopefully grown and become a better person.

I bought a college-ruled Hello Kitty pink camouflage notebook a few days ago. Maybe I'll use that. =D I have a strip of photo booth pictures I took on the same night. Also a movie ticket stub from the night before. It can be the start of a record for this summer!

I'm planning to leave and go back overseas after the summer so the book will be a nice reminder of home. =)

I'll still have the 'Tang over there! ^-^

Tired but can't fall into REM sleep bc I need to be there for a friend who's having drama in her life,
Will probably have another bout of sympathy/ass-kicking/subtle manipulation (good kind! not evil!),
Good night!

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Please?

@The-Muffin-Man: Here is your poopy face!
*smacks chocolate pudding in muffy's face*
Muahahahahahahaha!

@Randomjunk: Watch yourself...(*-*)

@Nuttz: Lucky I speak Cantonese then. ;)

@invisible: Thankssssss! (again)



My internship starts tomorrow.
I'm not sure I'm ready. =/

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I kinda feel like I got the short end of the stick bc the other college interns got Economic whatever Bureau or Strategies for crime, etc. I got a community unit. While I do have the experience to back it up, others are working on things and I am doing...clerical stuff. Stuffing and labeling folders. >.> Yeah, I didn't apply for this internship to get precluded from applying as a law student and exempt from the law student perks/training/experience to be doing the same stuff I've been doing since I was thirteen. Or before. So in response to Nuttz: This isn't my first internship. I had two, then I held a full-time job on a campaign, and this is my third internship. Plus, I had experience before my first internship from working/volunteering with organizations/the downtown community since before I can remember. Yeah, peeps. Roosevelt may like his big stick, but I got a short one in the draw.

Anyhoo. No more complaining. I still like my job. =) It's an area I'm familiar with. And like I said to the Legal Hiring Director (?), it would be good to learn some new skills and expand my horizons but it's also a benefit to myself to continue what I started, aka. relations among the community and how to help people.

Went to a press conference. I'm way down on the totem pole so I wasn't expecting anything. Then they made me stand up and introduce myself. -.- And get in the picture with all the higher ups. x_x So yes, I will have my pictures in the papers tomorrow. BUT! Only the Chinese media. Eh, I was REALLY not expecting that... I also felt bad because they introduced us two college interns but did not introduce another higher up. =/

Finally in other news, a female decided to pick a fight with me on Facebook. I did not take the bait though I did say some words just to try to clarify and calm down the situation. She got angrier somehow? She posted some very negative things about let's say, immature people and...bitchiness? and negative people or negativity in one's life. Then went on to say "I'm PO'ed enough to name names. It was [My Name]." How inappropriate. We all know how influential Facebook is for our futures. Especially when I am just starting out. Future employers, admissions officers, etc. I responded with some other words ( not negative, no slander/libel--I don't know which applies for internet) that she had dedicated a status (yes, she originally had one that brought up the perceived slight, then she made another and tried blacken my name) to slander/libel and asked if she thought this was mature or the way to be a big sister to me. She reacts with something to the effect of "I never said I was mature. I am a work in progress..." and that she didnt say or wasn't an older sister to anyone. Yeah. All this and the girl--woman, I should say, is over thirty and has known me since I was four?. So this episode upset me today. I wasn't angry or felt anything extreme. Just...off balance. Upset. She's an old friend. The putting my name out there was quite uncalled for and upset me the most.

Life.

Current FB status: "It is no longer a concern of mine to create snappy comebacks, but to be honest, kind, & respectful. A bittersweet revelation because it is accompanied by the realization that no matter how truthful or good one's words or intentions may be, it is the audience who deciphers it's meaning."

I wasn't *conscious* of this concern until today. Though I understood the concepts/idea/theme/whatever.

Yeah, life.

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I love you guys. Sorry for abandoning ya'll.

Anyhoo, after I put up that status, the girl-woman "liked" it and later on removed everything that was related to the misunderstanding. I never responded. *shrug* Didn't feel it was important to do so.

As for my internship, things are a little better. It was brought up during the last staff meeting that I, in particular, may actually have a chance to continue this internship into my next college semester as there is a partnership of sorts between the agency and my college. I'm not sure I want to continue doing what I'm doing, but it always looks good on my resume. I just hope I get smoother in terms of people relations soon.

In more personal news...I am finding in myself a thin line between my Chinese and American self. The hyphen in Chinese-American has come into existence. Or perhaps it existed all along, neglected and suppressed until today. Not literally today, but the present and recent days beginning last week.

I want to be the sweet, dignified, graceful, modest, gentle Chinese young lady. Alas, these characteristics are seen as week and unwanted in America. Especially the workplace. I am finding that my reserved manner and automatic sweetness to "superiors" are doing me more harm than good. This society values outspoken-ness. I can be quite talkative. I can also be rough and seemingly unmannered (depending on the standards, of course) and I am in the midst of trying to...rehabilitate myself. I am quiet in front of my superiors, which doesn't make me look good. I'm casual and talkative (or more than in front of the superiors) with my co-interns/friends, which wouldn't look good if caught. I am...stuck in between and I don't know how to act anymore. And I'm realizing this reserved-ness of mine may just be what unnerves and ultimately pushes away some people. Perhaps I come off stand-off-ish? What does that mean anyway? But why is it wrong in America to be quiet, to think before I speak, to care about other people's feelings, to think of the big picture rather than the little window of "right now"?

How can it be wrong to want to be a good person?

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I'm still feeling the after-effects of discovering my dual-whatever-you-wanna-call-it. But I'm getting the hang of it. Despite the natural occurrences of mood swings due to unfinished self-rehabilitation/discovery.

Anyway, I plan to start a blog and eventually a magazine for us Asian-American people. Most likely South Asians or maybe straight out Chinese. It would just be too broad otherwise. Starting out, it would only be me and truly, I cannot pretend to be Korean or Japanese or Singaporean or Indian or completely Chinese. Everything I know, feel, and therefore say or write will be biased in some way. I am writing strictly, irrevocably (in the present and near future) from the perspective of a young female Chinese-American New Yorker.

Magazine-wise: I kind of know how to get sponsors. It will probably be very Chinatown (and maybe Flushing) oriented in the beginning. I don't know how much it costs to print nor do I know where to print, but I do know someone who has a printing company. Maybe I'll get a discount? Perhaps I should just start out as a magazine from the very beginning. If I come up with an entity, it should/could start out as a magazine from the get-go. Whereas the blog would just be a compilation of articles and a place for me to practice.

Practice makes perfect.

I never thought I'd say that line. I absolutely hated it as a child. Shit, now I feel old.

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