mood: content
listening to: Chinese radio
watching: (about to) Lost

*siiiiigh* I snuggle deeper into my make-believe blankets as I type this. I feel as comfortable as a hibernating bear. Mmm...

Oh, special twizzlers are to be given to dear Zanzibar for giving me such a great move! I mean, without her...I wouldn't be here with an award for the world's greatest choreographer! *tear* I'd give here a hug if it wouldn't squish her in my great embrace. I mean it. Kudos. *bow*

Ah...we were to have rehearsal today. Only one of the girls didn't show up and I had lent her my CD on Sunday...>.> Nothing got done. And we were supposed to fix the positions and try to finish the dance. *sigh* I would have been more than happy to do something about it today, but no, no, S wouldn't move her big behind to do anything. She listened to the radio on her boombox, changing the station every few minutes. It went from pop to reggae to espanol to rap and her shakin' what god gave her the entire time.

I watched the old ladies on the park bench cuz I had no jello. I did have some strawberries, grapes, and two kiwis though. She ate most of it. I had a little baggie of cranberries, or craisins, too.

Ok, Lost is finally on and I have some leftovers to enjoy. Peace!
theDot

Plugs: catatonicloki, Zanzibar, ikimashokie, Kirei

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Pointless, really. What am I talking about? Funny you should ask. I'm talking about how effort and frustrations and sweat and pushing oneself aside for others (at least on my part) including a certain 6am wake-up for an incredibly early rehearsal was all for naught. Yes, you got it.

We didn't perform after all. It was supposed to be last night. Didn't happen.

---The entry I meant to put up before babboons interrupted me---

As I sat in my seat on the subway with my bags someow balanced upon my lap, I pondered about how lucky I was to have a place to go and rant and tear up in perfect company. NuTang. *grin* Yes, you! Thank you for being alive and being the only reason I am as well.

Anyway, it was a bust and it doesn't really matter anyway. Saturday morning, afternoon as well, we hadn't even finished the dance. I had gotten us multiple rehearsals and they were absolutely stubbornly lazy. I repeated myself over and over again the gravity of the situation and yet they couldn't find it in themselves to do it. I would've have pushed, gotten aggressive at it if I hadnt know for a fact that it would only make them stubborn-er, if that was possible, and absolutely refuse to do the dance at all.

Oh, that stupid wench...S, I mean. Oh, I didn't mean all the girls, only two others besides myself anyway, but mostly S. C only followed her example, because she is only a pre-teen after all. ASNd when one is faced with two people one closere in age to you and the other farther in age, it is only natural one would edge away from the latte towards the other. *sigh* Oh, well. No matter.

I would have written this earlier, but I got caught up in West Side Story, the one starring Natalie Wood. AndI am writing this way, because I am partially, well, more diverted by The Lost Prince on Masterpiece Theater at the moment. So you really must forgive my strange language for now. ^-^ Good night.

So very truely yours, everlasting,
theDot

p.s. Oh, my. For the first time in my life, I almost--almost--signed my true name at the bottom of this, or letter or whatever it is I had written. Hmm. Shows how much trust I put in you. How much you all--and this place, mean to me. Hmm. You must be very surprised and happpy, eh? Ah, well. I've got to get on. Ta-ta!

Plugs: catatonicloki, LostSoul13, invisible, Southern, Nuttz

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mood: antsy yet bored

I should be doing work, but I decided to reminisce about NuTang instead.

I remember daydreaming about a get-together for all of us. It was in a classroom setting, like we were all classmates or went to the same school. =) We were all just chilling. Some of us sat on the tables, others in chairs, and a few were standing around. The windows were open and a warm breeze blew in. It would be fun if something like that happened in real life.

What I trying to say is, I miss you guys!

I've forgotten what it was like to just say what I felt about my life without worrying about the real life repercussions. Because unfortunately, there are. I want to be able to say what's on my mind, respectfully of course, and have a clear conscience. It's awesome and happy to be that way. I know because I was once able to do so. But now my life is so complicated. I want to just cut it all away and just be me, you know? But is that running away? Or is it the right thing to do? I'm so confused. It's my life but I don't know what to do.

This post got more serious than I wanted. Haha!

To random: Ah, sorry. The place is such a mess. I'm too embarrassed to take pictures! I'm perfectly okay with a visit though. Come over!
To renaye: Glad to know you're still around too! =D
To Nuttz: Maybe you can visit sometime? ;)

Hugs n kisses to all!
Silver out.

Plugs: randomjunk, renaye, Nuttz

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Future. My plan was always to go to college, grad school, get out/get a job, and have fun! Finally, for the first time in my life.

Maybe I'd take a year off to go abroad, join one of those programs and gain a new valuable experience that I couldn't possibly get anywhere else. ;) Just go with it. See where it leads me.

Same look to the rest of my life, too. It seems that the goal of my life is to enjoy myself, to have fun, to be happy. Is that wrong? I don't think it is. Doesn't it seem so? Just the way it sounds out loud, on 'paper'...=P

I was going to...my plan, that is, is to: go to college, major in English, then go pre-law, go to law school. That was it. Graduate and get a job, somewhere, somehow. ;)

I've always had numerous interests=numerous possibilities for life. So this plan was/is my plan and safety net if I find or don't find my life's calling. *shrug* Heck, whatever. That's how it is.

I've been focussing a lot on dance and always wondered if I could go big o it. I've been watching programs, episodes on Nova, documentaries, things that further my life's intelligence, my mind. And now I'm wondering, not for the first time, shall I be an anthrpologist, an archaeologist? I've always had an interest in history. Only this time I'm thinking of the prospect a bit more seriously.

Hmm, who knows? Only God. Maybe not. So long now! *wave*
theDot

Plugs: ranor, Nuttz, catatonicloki, kkama67, frostbitten, Zanzibar

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I had started an entry last night that would have been wonderful. Remember how I said I still had secrets to tell you? Yeah. I had watched a documentary last night that left me amused, in a state of acceptance (somewhat), among other things.

It was a documentary on Independent Lens about Jimmy Mirikitani, an artist who lives in New York, and filmed in 2001. He's a Japanese-American who had survived WWII, spending years in an internment camp. For many, many years afterward, he wanted nothing from this country. His homeland had betrayed him. He turned away his Social Security, saying, "No, no. I don't need it. I don't need U.S. passport, either. I go back to Japan. I die there." He finally got his S.S. in 2001.

Originally, this entry was going to be private, but there's no need now. I won't delve any further. I won't divulge my secret after all. Not this time. If I continue, it could be contrversial and turn to politics. Bleh. No need for that.
So it's just me sharing a documentray I found interesting. ^-^

Another part of the film is about 9/11 since it was doine in 2001 after all. We catch the connection between Mirikitani-san and the innocents who other Americans rage on as guilty for it.

Anyway, look down there in the bottom-right of my page, will you?

---- New Widget! ----
You can subscribe to my textmark! I will be able to send a message, an update or whatever, to everyone at once. ^-^ Not to worry, I will NOT get your phone numbers so don't get scared I'll be calling you up at odd hours. XD And you won't pay anything extra besides your normal texting rate. Example: I have a text/IM thing on my phone for...200? mssges for a couple of dollars per month. And that's all I pay. No extra fee subscribe or get the messages. =P

I wasn't sure if you guys would go for this, but what the heck. Tell me what ya'll say.
theDot

Plugs: LostSoul13, Southern, Nuttz, renaye, lyndeep

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I think I'm sick. More specifically, I have an irritation in my throat. Bronchitis? Maybe. Dunno. May go to doctor tomorrow.
Imagine a dry mouth with a thick coated tongue and pain like a huge fishbone stuck in your throat every time you swallow.
--->That's me.<----

Anyway, don't forget to heck out my new WIDGET. Quote from prev. entry:

"You can subscribe to my textmark! I will be able to send a message, an update or whatever, to everyone at once. ^-^ Not to worry, I will NOT get your phone numbers so don't get scared I'll be calling you up at odd hours. XD And you won't pay anything extra besides your normal texting rate. Example: I have a text/IM thing on my phone for...200? mssges for a couple of dollars per month. And that's all I pay. No extra fee subscribe or get the messages. =P

I wasn't sure if you guys would go for this, but what the heck. Tell me what ya'll say."

End quote.

Peace!
theDot

Plugs: Southern, randomjunk, renaye

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Well, isn't this wonderful.

Remember my plans for Mistah Potter this evening, er, night? Yeah, it seems my friend, P, decided it would be the perfect opportunity to bail out on me.

I recieved a text message last night, no, this morning at 5am. Guess what it said?
"Hey, I just saw the harry potter movie wid my siblings so u can watch wid ur friendz! ;] ::wink:: ::wink::"

My reaction: WTF? What the hell could have possibly spurred you to do this to me? Let me tell you, she's the kind of person who ALWAYS thinks of others, because--her words--she has 'low self-esteem so [she feels] like [she] doesn't deserve to judge people'. So what the heck is this? My entire night is gone to shit.

The past week has been incredibly dull. Thank you for raising my spirits and then stomping on them with no second thought. >.>

Now you tell me. What am I gonna do now?
theDot

p.s. Don't even think of saying "Go by yourself!" One word: can't. Travel+over 2 hr. movie=too late. We're were supposed to catch the seven o'clock show or something. Guess what time it is? 8pm. Too late~!

Answer the question. ^-^

Plugs: ever

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Oh my gosh, I have a lot to talk about. Please refrain from commenting about the phrase I used in the beginning of the prev. sentence.

First of all, the trip was a bust. We ended up spending a lot of time on travel rather than play. According to my calculations, we should have gotten there by one, two at the latest with However, I'd forgotten one thing. Mother-master and her miraculous hearing, or lack thereof. Instead, we got there by 3 o'clock and C had told us she was leaving at 4:30pm. How wonderful.

Second on the list is that my mother has hit a new low! It's incredible the way she got so freakin' dramatic over nothing. It's a hilarious story. Okay, let me get started...

So a little conversation about who should ask for directions got out of hand. Sorry if I didn't want to go into a shady Psychic/Tarot reading shop for directions and there were plenty of other shops around. Her reason was that this was my trip and I had brought them there, therefore I had to.

I turned a corner, went into a Sports memorabilia shop, asked for directions and go it. I came out, said crossly to my mother, "You don't have to come if you don't want to." C and I turned and began walking. She was always slower than us so we didn't notice anything at first. As always I turned around after a couple of steps so she could catch up. Know what I found? A little child called my mother walking away in the other direction.

I sighed, told C to wait there for me, and retraced my steps. I went all the way back to the SIR (Staten Island Railroad) station where I found her leaning on the railing halfway down to the platform. When I walked up to her, she turned he back to me and said, "I'm not talking to you." This was nothing new since she always throws tantrums and I have to go after her/deal with it. That line of hers has been used many, many times. I went on to my usual routine to weasel her out of it.

Then she started asking for an apology. "Say sorry." "Say sorry, mommy." This being Mother's Day, I complied. Three times. Of which she claimed she didn't hear and demanded it again. "I didn't hear you." This went on for quite some time. Of course, I didn't say it again after the third time, because she was being ridiculous and I wasn't going to waste my breath just so her ego could be happy.

Eventually, it got to this: "If you don't say it Im going to jump." She motioned at the railing and the tracks beneath. I chuckled and basically said, "Go ahead." I mean, who was dumb enough to go through with the threat?

*** Note: I'm...laughing. Ooh, I can't breathe properly. Ah. ***

Oh, wait, I know the answer to that. My mother. (Oh, god, my tummy's starting to hurt.) She starts to climb up the railing (Oh...) and (oi, geez) lifts her leg over it. I'm staring her and grinning. When she starts to straddle the railing, I lift my hand to my mouth and play tattletale.

"Hey, there's a woman trying to jump onto the tracks!" Well, something to that effect. I was a little...preoccupied at the moment. (Hah!) She immediately came down and started shaking me. Kinda like "How could you say that?!" "Shut up, shut up!" I just doubled over with laughter. I bent down and held on to the rail for dear life as I gasped.

Oh my gosh. Seriously, who the heck would do that? Besides my mother? Go jump the tracks because they 'didn't' get an apology, which may I remind you she did? Seriously, imagine if she had a boyfriend who wouldn't give her a teddybear, she'd go jump a bridge. It was hilarious. A new low for her. XD Hah!

I couldn't stop laughing and gasping as we made our way out the door. Oh, god, it was crazy. Hahahahahahaha. *shakes head*

Oh, and that wasn't the only thing. Later on, she treid to argue with me that our Metrocards wouldn't work in Staten Island? Why? Cuz it wasn't a part of New York. Uh, yeah, it is! Hah!

Oh, funny day, funny day. But by no means, a fun day. Though I did go to Karaoke dinner for Mother's Day with my dad's side of the family last night. C went in my ma's place cuz her allergies had been creeping up over the week and er eyes + nose were red by then. Well, she hadn't wanted to go in the first place. Whatever.

Heh. That's a story for the years to come. Hah!
the Dot

Plugs: LostSoul13, renaye, Nuttz, Kuri

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