[[ october 2 ]] HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIO M.!
[[ october 7 ]] HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLISE S.!
[[ october 23 ]] HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHIE G.!

well, school sucks. the end.

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well i haven't updated becuz no1 ever really comes here ne way..and i was really busy. starting on tuesday i started doin comm service at FREESE ELEMENTARY wit nikki. on wednesday i hadta go alone tho cuz nikki had an appt. so i was a loner. it wasn't that bad except for lunch. i had nobody. so i dialed sum ppl up. yeah. ok skippin details..ooh yesterday me& nikki went to MAYLYNN's house..and got to see her cute lil baby ANDREW JORDAN =) i won him over in jes a matter of minutes! 8) they jes love me. HAHAHA. siking. ((i jes made that up, am i cool or what?! haha kidding agen!)) butchea..he's so cute but deeng a few minutes before i hadta leave he started biting &pinching me! sheesh. haha, but nevertheless, he's so adorable!

well today i took the SATs n daamns. i dint even getta finish the first 3 sections! that's so not fair. how are we sposed to do our best if they dont give us enuf time?! espeshully for the math. cuz even tho i kno there are tricks &shortcuts i dont usually see it "jes like that". so i was all like rushin myself. gosh, i think i did so bad..more for the math part.

i watched the movie 13..it was really weird. started watching the scarlet matter. and jes watched mean girls agen. jonathan benett is so fiiine <3 =) i jes dont like his chin. hahah. but nevertheless, he is still fiine.

n that's all. bye bye.

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++sorry this pix are gon be kinda hard to see cuz of the opacity. but if u really wanna see the pic then jes click on it++

grandma's birthday (sept. 10)


the family minus grampa ((he wasn't feelin gOod))

angeline's party ((sept. 18))


the card on top


open the box. another letter!


pictures! thanks to kinkos =)


ooh! a lil present! open it, open it!


it's a lil bag..that has wallet-like features! do u like it?! dont lie.


trixxxx! here's the real present! a gift certificate to forever 21! =D


picture time!


charlie's angels! kapowie!

my birthday ((sept. 24))


at red lobster. minus grampa agen. bro couldn't fit him =(


my ice cream cake


one of my cool presents. isn't it so cute?! thanks mom.


heyy i told u i saw pamela anderson.

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my dad made me drive to nex today. thot he wanted to get sumthin or whatever. turns out PAMELA ANDERSON was gonna be there to endorse ((is that the right word?!)) her new line. my dad videotaped n stuff. waited for hours for her to come. she took forever. i wasn't that excited since i dint follow up on her or ne thin..like i wasn't a huge fan. not that i'm not. i'm jes neutral. she looked kinda different. not that it's a bad thing..jes sayin.

well, i still hate driving. i make mistakes all the time. i hate changing lanes. and i need to practice wen to kno wen to speed up or slow down. i hope i dont drive tomorrow.

today begins the starts of a new season of smallville. yay =)

tomorrow i was gonna finish my last 2 hrs of the behind-the-wheel training but he called today and asked to change to friday but my dad's not gonna be here.

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Feelin so bogged down bowt ev'rythin. There's no time for ne thin. no time to rest. just study, study, study. I wish sumtimes that ppl could see the pain in my eyes. but i kno there's no time to rest. things need to be done. i hafta get good grades, good scores. but i jes feel so overwhelmed. what if i dont make it?! that's how i see it.

i miss bein a lil kid. now, i often think about how easy life used to be and how i dint hafta worry bowt this stuff. i kno i should focus on the present & future but i can't help but feel nostalgic towards the days when life was so much easier than this. i look bak at my baby album more than ever and wonder what ever happened to those happy days? is this what my parents planned? anticipated? and how i wish i could go bak and stay that age forever..when i dint hafta worry about the complications of life and love. but those days are over& done with. life will never be simple or easy agen. ever.

if there was one thing that could make me truly happy, i wouldn't see it if it slapped me in the face.

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i thot i could be happy. but i was right, my birthday was jes a one-day happiness if u could call it that. and after that, it'd be bak to normal..an ordinary day.

being 16 sucks. being in hs sucks. being a teenager sucks.

today i went to church& did the usual.

i was plannin on startin comm. service nex week..but i dont think ima go cuz nikki bailed on me. they're goin to anaheim. so i thot i was jes gonna go alone. but now my parents are suggesting i stay home for the week and go the week after nex ((hopin that nikki would be bak by then))..and that this comin week i study for SATs.

i've been gettin an awful lot of headaches lately..and gettin tired easily. i think it's cuz of all the work and studyin i've been doin. crammin my head trynna remember things i was taught one time in my life.

i almost got in a car accident today. agen. as usual. cuz i was makin a left turn and i was trynna go to the right lane..stupid mistake. the car behind me was trynna go there too..i dint see it so i ges i almost hit it. it beeped its horn. looked at me with an angry face. it was a young lookin hispanic lady i think she was. traumatization. tried hard to concentrate. after i start one mistake. they jes keep on comin. i am the worst driver ever.

i hate myself. and i dont kno what will make me happy. i'm bombarded with all this stuff i hafta do..stuff i hafta kno. i still feel like no1's there. but then agen i push ppl away by not tellin them im not feelin well (emotionally).

it's not physical pain i'm feeling. this pain hurts more. and it won't go away.

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