[[more to be added..]]

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i was thinkin of makin a poem out of my thoughts
but im too lazy to sort them out so i'll jes jot em down



i think that everyone is fake
everyone puts up a front at some point
and viewpoints change
and sides switch
when once i was their enemy
and i admit to sayin some mean things
they are now on my side
cuz the one who was my friend
has changed completely.
now we agree.
but now you and i dont.
i dont think you see how much you've changed

and i think that everyone is a shittalker
there is no doubt about that
no matter how nice you are
no one is perfect
so people always point out a fault
i try my best not to
but when i am mad
it just comes out
and i regret it now
cuz if they find out
they might take it the wrong way
and think i'm fake
even though i think that everyone's fake
people dont understand it.
if she knew wha i told her she thought
and if she found out i felt the same way before
she might think of me as a backstabber
or someone who's just a straight up bitch
but that's because things were different back then

and now you're not my friend.
well at least we're not talking.
it saddens me though
cuz u were the one i went to amusement parks with
except that one time u went without me
but thats ok. i prolly wouldn't have gone.
and when i see that last week we were still friends
and now things have changed.

i admit it.
i don't like who you've become.
you have a negative attitude.
and i just dont wanna be around someone who is constantly negative
constantly pessimistic.
it brings people down.
its brings me down.
and i dont wanna be around someone who talks shit about their own friends.
even though everyone talks shit.
noone should talk shit about their own friend if anyone at all.
before i found out you used to talk shit about me
you said something mean about our other friend.
although you didn't quite say it yourself
and someone else did.
u told me what they said
and i guess you seemed to agree
cuz u didnt make any notion to say that wha they said was wrong
or fucked up.
you didnt say anything at all.
i tried to bak her up
because you didn't seem to realize
that even though someone may not have liked the way she did something
at least she was out there doing something
whereas you did nothing.
at least she was out at the dancefloor
but you didn't go at all.
not even once.
not even when your bf wanted you to.

and i hate to bring up the past
but this is in addition to your negativeness
and it's only the past now
cuz you never hangout with us at lunch
or nutrition break anymore.
but when you did
you'd always complain about how boring it was.
i almost snapped at you once.
and i did
but not completely.
i didnt want to seem too mean.
but i didn't see you do anything to make it anymore exciting.
and for your information,
you miss out on the good days.
cuz when me and her are by ourselves
or if we kick it with our other friends
we have days of complete laughter
but you are never there to experience it
cuz you lock urself in that room.
and im sorry to say this about you
but i think that's pretty loser-ish.
the only reason u feel all weird and left out from that area
((as you've told me before))
is because you are hardly ever there to experience the fun
and because now u hardly go there at all
it's even worse for you.
so i guess it makes sense that you lock urself in there all the time
but you dont even try
and we were supposed to be friends.

and you may think you're such a fashion/stylish person now
but let's not forget who took you in when you were not.
when you were just a nerdy lil asian girl
with those dorky glasses and highwater pants
with the kiddy shirts and the girly sweaters.
let's not forget who transformed you
only to let you see the beautiful person you can be.
we let you into our world.
and now here you are
thinking your style is better than everyone else's
wanting to change every "mistake" that you see.
cuz they dont dress like a celebrity.
well let me tell you
you're not so different yourself
cuz u were once beautiful
but now i just think that you're mean
ur appearance may be fine
but your personality is not
and let me just tell you
ur fashion sense probably isn't as high as you think it may be.
so i suggest you stop criticizing everyone else
cuz you're not that great either.

you're changing into someone you once didnt like
you steal. you cheat. you copy.
and what's next? ur gonna party?
cuz that wasn't you.
but if that changes its cool
but let me remind you
that if you do
i'll think of you as hypocrite
even worse than of how i think of you now
when you once talked about how much you disliked those actions
you're the one who's doing it now

i jes wonder if you ever look bak at situations and analyze ur actions.
maybe then you'd realize how different you've become
and how mean you have been
and how hypocritical you've been acting.
until then, i'll leave you alone
cuz we just don't click anymore.
i dont kno what we are
or if this barrier will ever be broken down.
the truth has come out
and now we just have to face it.

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be workin on my college essay or perhaps researching a lil more on the communist beliefs ((AP Gov't project)) but no, i've allowed myself to succumb to this useless distractor called the internet maybe i'll work on it tomorrow but that essay is hard so i'll wait for my mom and maybe i'll ask tomorrow and maybe tomorrow i'll do my research cuz i really have nothing better to do.

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i watched GREASE on abc family tonight
i always wanted to watch it
and im glad i ended up liking it
maybe cuz i have a liking for that era
and i wish i could dance like they do
not all this freak dancing stuff
it looked fun
too bad they dont do that anymore
i'd sure loved to learn! really i would =]

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ok so about that pimple in my last entry
it took awhile but
it has accumulated to a monstrous gigantic ugly thing!
well its seems pretty gigantic to me!
and its pretty gross.
and i kept bothering it today
popped it throughout the day
ahhah yeah i know i shouldnt
but ew, i cannot stand that ugly green stuff!
thats jes disgusting!
so yeah
and whats even worse is that
my boyfriend surprise visited me today
and altho i am well overjoyed
i couldnt look at him cuz
i dint want him to look at me
and how unfortunate for him
that he hadta kiss me
with that thing soo close
thats disgusting man!! :P

well yeahh im in the process of finishin up those college apps
USF is priority becauuuse im doin that Early Action
and that's due nov. 15
so wish me luck!!

and school still sucks
ok nutangers, bye!!

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i have this pimple on my chin
and i had one before
but it went away
but now i think it's comin bak
but u cant see it ((for now))
but it hurts like crazy!!!!!!!
and i cant do anything about it!
cuz i cant even pop it cuz it's not even out there!
this frikken sucks!!!!!

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