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college-ruled.
party party party!
Saturday. 8.28.04 9:11 pm
today was a kind of busy day. went to two parties. first one was this boy bernie's who jes turned 12. gosh it's so crazy cuz man i remember wen him n my bro were like buddies in kinder n stuff n now he's goin tah bell. dayem. and it was a luau and the sho was pretty gOod. felt like i was bak in hawaii wit all the polynesian dances n stuff. it was awesome. after that was at tita inday's house and it was the gramma's bday n yeah. not a lot of ppl. but man there is this guy who i always see now wen i go to a family gathering. this is like what the 3rd-4th time? and i still haven't talked to him. haven't talked to ne1. cuz im a very shy person u kno. n yeah. but we always make eye contact. iss kinda funneh. haha. so yeah i jes stayed wit the adults n stuff. and heard a few convos i dont think i was sposed to..nor wanted to hear. oh well tOo late for that now. and dont u wonder what it woulda been like if you or i was born like millionaires. had it all made for yah. no $ problems. man. that lady was lucky. and oh yeah my mom can be such an ignoramous wen it comes to boyfriend stuff. why do aunties always ask me if i have a bf? erry1 knows ima jes say no even if i did. ne ways my mom was like youre too young to have a boifren!!...u mite as well get married!! somethin like that. but deng. my mom is crazy. married? what's she thinkin?!

man im so hecka tired right now -_-. well i ges that's all for today. payce!

oh yeah yeno what i think it's so STUPID how u hafta PAY jes to APPLY to COLLEGE!! man wtf. it's bad enuf that we hafta pay for tuition & all that other crap we hafta pay for! that's fuk'n gay. I SAY WE KICK THEIR ASSES!! i mean, what if u dont even get ACCEPTED into it..do u get ur money bak? cuz man that's jes a WASTE OF MONEY!!

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new girl in town
Thursday. 8.26.04 6:43 pm
so there's a new freshie at skOo. errybody trippin cuz dey think she's so damn pretty. haha. she is pretty but u kno ima junior so whatever i dont give a fuk. i woulda cared except shay put things in perspective n im like o yeah duh. psh why do i care. hah.

well ne ways durin 3rd per. shay made me sign this sort of contract thing it's hilarious. we basically swear to never separate and stay in s.d.

michael phelps is sexy.

i found out that some1 isn't really liked. even by ppl that u'd think would be frenz wit that person. how surprising.

and i think that's all the news for today. so see u laters ppl

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fuking shiiit
Tuesday. 8.24.04 4:47 pm
man i jes wrote a whole buncha shiit in here but then i accidentally fuk'n deleted it cuz those stupid error pop up shiit keeps poppin up and me, bein scared that my shiit on here would be exited away i attempted to copy it but instead ended up cuttin or deleten it or somethin n now issaLL gone. motherfuker. and it dint even exit. man i hate this fuk'n computer. oh well..nothin important on it ne ways. ima jes talk bowt the last thing i was writin bowt cuz im tOo lazy for ev'rythin else..

..so ne ways..today this morning ms love told us about this magazine thing she got ((i 4got wha it was called but i wish i remembered)) and it was bowt students applyin for college n stuff..n the top colleges. and that jes put more stress on me a bit. like even tho u swear like ur all laid bak n stuff ur still gon get sucked in to the bandwagon where erry1's all stressed out wit college ((applications)). n then the fuk'n SAT's maan im like gonna so totally fail that. as i alredi sed b4, i totally failed the psat's..shiit man I'M SCARED AS FUKKKK for that shiit! i swear man, i could have the grades but then my sat's would be low as hell n oh man i jes dont even kno. i'll break down into tears or sum'n. iono how im gonna make it! i dont even know! argh.

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i did my homework okkk!
Monday. 8.23.04 8:11 pm
i kno i kno, i'm on the internet. but i dint say i'd stop myself completely! gotta take it small steps at a time. i really am gettin better at holdin myself bak from the internet..i only go on at night wen i'm done wit most if not all my hw. ok so i only did most of my hw today. i dint finish the last couple of pages in the reading for history cuz it was so frikken boring. oh well. i'll read 2morrow morning n ask ppl n stuff.

today was a blahh day. i found out wha i got on my math test..a B+ and I ONLY MISSED TWO PROBLEMS!! but iss prolly cuz there's only 15 problems so yeah smaller scale..yehkno. ergh. but whateverr. and yeno wha's so ironic about it..both the problems i missed..I PICKED D but both the right answers were A!! weird huh!

hey, wanna hear a funny story? i was walkin to my 6th per. class thru the bak..and sum guy that looks like a freshman stops me n is like "whas ur name?" and im like resi and he's like "oh, thass a pretty name. ur cute" im like okk..thanks..? hah. weird. funny.

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teacher's aid
Sunday. 8.22.04 4:44 pm
today was the usual church deal. but this time i went an hour late because the teacher/t.a. meeting was after. so guess what i getta t.a. for 1ST GRADE it's awesome. but iono who the teacher really is. like i saw her butchea. i hope she's not tOo mean. i jes wanna correct papers or somethin..and help the cute lil kids. they're so adorable! cuz also mrs. burns sed that she dint really have help b4..dus that mean she dusnt WANT/NEED any?!! wahhh. =(

jes awhile ago i drove. picked up the grandparents. i am telling you man I SUCK AT DRIVING. i have trouble with the whole "traffic and timing" thing. yeno. whether tah go faster or slower. and i think i kno the exact reason i hate changing lanes..it's cuz i'm not shure bowt the cars. like wha if i jes dint see one. and also i still keep forgettin tah check the rear view mirror. and ergh. why dus driving hafta be so hard. and I HATE IT WEN CARS ARE BEHIND ME like no jes behind me but RIGHT behind me. cuz then i feel like they think i'm goin all slow. but im goin the SPEED LIMIT ok so u can slow ur ass down! but forreals. i get all paranoid. actually i'm paranoid the whole time i'm driving. hah. but it's more wen there's a car that seems like it's tailgating me. but i like it wen there's a car in front of me that isn't goin so fast so that if there's a car behind me it's not my fault. get me?! i really hate driving. and my dad's lucky cuz i swear like he gets mad or somethin. like not furious this time but jes mad. or his so called "emphasizing" but u kno wha i mean. but i was like whatever. i'll take the shiit. prolly cuz i'm not really up for ne thing. prolly since i was jes sleepin b4 he told me to drive so i was like whatever. and oh yeah i 4gotta mention yesterday i think my dad's serious about NOT LETTING ME DRIVE ALONE TILL I'M 18 cuz he was talkin to my auntie and how mahh cuhzzz who is 18 alredi STILL dusnt kno how tah drive..well he prolly dus but yeno. the whole actualy drivin permit/license thing. and yeah i heard him say that he wont lemme drive by myself till i'm 18. but yeno one thing is fesho THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL IMA RIDE A FUK'N SCHOOL BUS WEN I'M A SENIOR!! shiiit. a junior. fine. whatever i'll suck it up not erry1 can drive i bet even by the end of this year ne ways. but nex year shooot.. i'ma fiind sum1 tah gimme a ride! a friend of course. and hopefully i can at least get a friend discount and pay only $5 a week pls? cuz yeno i dont have a frikken job. and if i gave $10 i'd only have $2 left for myself. isn't that sad? have pity on me.

well i kiinda finished my hw. and i'm proud of myself cuz i did all of my math hw except for one problem. and i figured out wha i was doin wrong wit the ones i was havin trouble wit yesterday. and i hope i got em right. chemistry lab..i'm such a procrastinator cuz even tho i did MOST of it..i feel like it's totally not complete. but i only needa add a lil more adjustments ne ways. so no biggie. i wonder if 2morrow's pro hour. well i heard it was full menu. i'll ask sum1. right now.....uh great ROSE DOESNT KNO..lemme find another victim..ok i think it's full menu.

oh yeah i have another thing tah say I NEED MORE GUY FRIENDS and i'm talkin serious guy frenz. cuz i mean yeno i got mah homies here n there but i dont got ne close serious best friend kind of guy fren. and sumtimes i need a fren of the opposite sex. cuz they're cooler about other things. and also wen i mean serious, i mean serious. like if i was in a serious breakdown depressing kinda shiit mode i dont want them to make a joke about it cuz it's not funny and dusn't work and it dusnt make me feel better. and i need someone to LISTEN. i need some1 i can connect with in a way u kno? someone who UNDERSTANDS. a guy that understands. cuz that's wha i need now. now dont get me wrong..havin frenz that are girls are kOo tOo cuz yeno we be doin our giirrl thaang n errythang. but sometimes i feel like i need a friend that's a guy. i jes deno how to explain it.

i also need someone to GET RID OF THIS SHYNESS OUT OF ME i've become so quiet over this past couple of years. cuz i dont wanna look stupid..say ne thin stupid..or make myeslf look like a damn fool. but it's really holding myself bak from havin ne fun. i need somebody to show me how to have fun agen and accept me for who i am. i mean really accept me. cuz sometimes there's moments wen i was bein myself for jes a moment and i get this weird look and it jes shuns me off and that's wha im talkin about..at that moment i jes felt like i made a fool of myself.

i dont kno how to make u guys understand. i'm thankful for my friends and i love them dearly but im only human and there are still things that are "missing".

ok enuf of this emo stuff makin me all emo agen. i hate wen i try tah sort out my feelings cuz then i get a sad feeling.

well i ges thats all. oh and thot of the day: CARPE DIEM sp?! SEIZE THE DAY seize the moment it's wha i learned at church today cuz YOU CAN NEVER GO BAK TO YESTERDAY and every morning we wake up we're GIVEN ANOTHER CHANCE..to DO THINGS THAT WE FAILED TO DO. let this sink in ur mind LET'S TRY AGAIN

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caught up
Saturday. 8.21.04 12:46 pm
this morning jes awhile ago i went to the ortho and changed the color of my braces to DARK RED and it looks soOo much better. bright colors do NOT look right on me. except for pink cuz ima pink person yeno. haha. and i also got rubberbands it's not all that bad. then i started doin math hw. i think my cw is gOod but my hw..i started getting wha i think is the wrong answers. but i cant check cuz she assigned the even numbers! rawr! i think wen i try tah do math for a long term i lose it. i get wrong answers. so i took a break and ate.

last night someone got CAUGHT UP and it felt PRETTY DAMN GOOD! but i am tOo nice becuz after that i started talkin tah him all nice & friendly as if nothin happened but i ges THATS JES HOW I AM..i dint wanna cause ne more trouble..and i wanted tah ask a few things so i jes dropped it. but oh how much i wanted to retaliate agen. but no. and i feel satisfied so if i never talk to him agen its kew. and things dint end so badly. i'd say more but i think this is enuf.

today's nathan's 18th bday partayy but my mother dusn't wanna go cuz iss gon be him and his homies and yeahh my mom's "shy". i dont think i'd wanna go either feel all left out. but still. he seems like he really wants us to be there. but my mom prolly wont.

well so i think today's gon be boring as heckkk. as usual. i gotta go bak to my hw. it's taking over my life. so i'll see you kiddos later.

[[[[ edit:10.02pm ]]]]
well i ended up goin to the party. but no1 was really there yet. "met" summa his hemmies. yeahyeah. their dog is soOo cute. and it's poor left eye got taken out wen it got in a fight wit one of it's older big dogs ((but iss not there no more)) it was so cute it's not mean at all! all it wanted was tah be petted. and yeno how they're all chained it was so sad wen it tried tah come near us but got held back. =( poor doggie. but i went closer to it. and oh yeah i drove there and back which means i drove at night awesome huh? yeah.

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