Saturday. 9.3.11 8:19 pm
Things I don't like a lot:
1) Homework I understand perfectly but hate having to do just as much (and mostly for that reason, really).
1) I'm pretty sure I was asked for my hand in marriage, the other day. I don't even know what else to say about that.
2) Today, a guy in a pickup truck held a sign up in his window. It said:
"HOW IS MY DRIVING?
--HOW CUTE. I wish I'd had a pen. I would have called him, DEFINITELY. Or at least sent a text. Just because I would have the balls to do the same thing, were the guy cute enough.
Near death experiences in the past week and a half:
1) A tree branch tried to kill me on my way to class. Luckily, I hadn't brought an umbrella (and was, yes, completely soaked from the torrential DOWNPOUR Irene brought), so I saw it coming down just in time to stop short and jump out of the way.
2) A ladder decided to take a shot at being a car. As in, it was in my lane in the middle of the super high bridge. I swerved out of the way maybe three seconds before I--going sixty miles per hour--would have hit it.
3) I was going to get my mail and hit the elevator button, but then decided that I wanted to be healthy and take the stairs. Just as I got to the front door of my dorm, the fire alarm started up. Apparently, that elevator I was going to take had just CAUGHT ON FIRE.
Beings I miss:
1) inhuman. She and I got super close, this past summer, and I really wish I could see her more than I'll be able to, this year. She's been there for me on a constant basis, which is something someone like me really needs.
2) My dog. I always go back to this January and February, in my mind, when I really want to think of a comfortable time in my life. I would wake up, look down, and there would be my wonderful, faithful pup, Sophie, snuggled up into my stomach.
3) God. We're on weird terms, right now. No lecture is going to help, either--I know that much. Faith isn't faith unless you come and stay, on your own terms. Just like any other relationship.
4) Someone I really shouldn't miss, really. A bad idea in the making.
Things I love:
1) The way the wind blows through my car windows as I'm driving around certain parts of the city is exactly that "breath of fresh air" everyone always talks about.
2) My dorm room feels legitimately like home. I think it's because I decorated it so that I belong. My Ganesha tapestry is so comforting, and my purple satin sheets are always perfectly warm and smooth. A lot of it is pink, but maybe it keeps me perky and feminine, because I haven't had a bad day, yet.
3) Knowing where I'm going when I'm driving around my new city of residence. I may not know a lick about finding a bank in walking distance, but I know how to get to all the places I need, without a GPS.
4) Having something to look forward to is my favourite form of motivation. I started the school year looking forward to a concert with friends from my hometown, which was great for me while I was adjusting to new people and needed that hometown support. Now, I still have the concert coming up, but I'm also looking forward to playing my first real match with the team, this November, not to mention all the experiences I'll come across in the meantime! c:
5) Good music is worth a lot, in my book. It's awesome when I'm driving down to the beach and a tropical pop song comes on...nothing can get me down when the wind's a-blowin' and I'm jamming to some acoustic guitar/ukulele-heavy pop. Not even a ladder (but that's a different bridge).
Tuesday. 8.23.11 8:33 pm
So I thought, gee, I would love to take karate, but I would also love to take ultimate. I emailed both leaders for more information, both emailed back--easy! The women's ultimate team put me on their list and so I got this notification that they would be practicing and messing around at the square by my dorm for a few hours, around 3:00.
I decided to go.
Huge mistake. Huge. Now I can't take karate because 1) ultimate practices are around the same time, and 2) I am so in love with playing ultimate with these people that it hurts (mostly my legs).
Seriously...I had SO much fun, and everyone is SO friendly. I didn't get tired or anything, either. Usually, with things like running back and forth, I get all bored and miserable, but this was both mentally and physically-stimulating without being boring or OVER-stimulating. The men's team is apparently hanging with us for the rest of the week, and it's awesome to play with such a range of skill levels and personality types. Common thread: everyone is very comfortable.
AHHHHH CAN YOU GUYS TELL I'M SUPER HAPPY AND FREE?
But yeah, awesome. Happy. Bye.
A Long Entry
Thursday. 8.18.11 9:50 pm
FIRST WEEK AT COLLEGE THAT ACTUALLY COUNTS (I'm a second-year, but it doesn't feel like it).
The people are friendly and chatty, the city is full of things to do and places to hang out, and I'm so happy to be here, finally.
I walked to the ocean, yesterday. THAT'S RIGHT. ALL THE WAY TO THE OCEAN. It was a few miles, I think, but not so bad. 1.4 miles, apparently. It only takes five minutes, in a car, but it took me about half an hour to walk. Just for fun, I walked the route again. Then, I walked down to the shopping area and did a few laps, there. I think, all in all, I hit about ten miles. The place I stopped to watch the ocean is kind of popular, but I don't think a lot of students stop there, since it's so far away. I stopped and sat with my back to the ocean, first, then walked over to a bench and read some of The Portrait of Dorian Gray (FYI, a really fun read) in the shade of a gorgeous tree.
Anyway. I only went to the first day of orientation because it was super boring. I did meet some nice people, though... Mostly guys, but that's pretty much all I meet for the first few weeks. I don't know why.
Either way, all I wanted was to get through the mandatory parts and go to sleep. In fact, I skipped all of the second day (which was "mandatory") and did my own thing (mostly unpacked more, whatever).
Oh, and my suitemates and I went and grabbed some Asian food from my FAAAVOURITE restaurant in walking distance. Ever since my pal Ryan introduced me to it, I've been CRAZY over the food there. Oh, and yum yum sauce. Probably a few other things, too, because he has generally good taste in food/music, but regardless. The point is, it's delicious food and I was SO happy to introduce new students to it. I'm like a freaking ambassador, go me.
And so that's life here so far. It's been kind of boring...I'm waiting to meet people, but without clubs and stuff running, I don't really have a good technique. It seems that I always meet and get along with people just fine...I don't know. On one side, I know I'm being dramatic and a total worrywart, but it just makes me NERVOUS. I'm SO social, and not having people to use that on feels weird.
Anyway. Classes for this semester. French 102, Spanish 201, Math 111, Theatre 176, Sociology 101. No idea why. Most feminine schedule I've ever had. I'm interested to see whether I hate my life by the end of pre-calculus or not (I placed into calculus, but wanted a review, which may or may not be far too easy). We'll see. Regardless, I'll be taking at least two math classes, every semester after this one, unless I can figure out how to pull some transfer credits out of my ass. And maybe live down here during the summer for summer classes and tourist season (seasonal jobs!), so I can possibly take care of some math classes in an "extra" semester.
--I just don't want to stay beyond four years. It takes others longer, sure, fine, but I just want to be done with doing the whole college thing because I HAVE to. I'm looking forward to being an adult and having the option to take classes, but not the overwhelming pressure. That makes it sound like I don't appreciate my education, which is untrue. I LOVE most of my classes, and actually enjoy doing the work, eighty percent of the time. I just wish I could devote more of my time to a job, and that maybe I could learn some things that I wouldn't want to have a career in.
For instance, languages. I would LOVE to study several different languages, but I would never want to be a translator or anything to do with languages. I just want to know them for travel and communication purposes.
Math, on the other hand, I could work with all day. I always feel like there's something certain and intricate about math...like weaving threads together to make a bracelet. I was always good at making those because, so long as you followed the pattern, you could make something really cool and complex without much thought.
I'm not tying myself down to a major, but this feels like something I could really commit to. And anyone I've dated knows that I don't commit to much of anything at all. Well. Not for long, at least.
Not in the past. I haven't really had the chance to commit to any people, lately (none that I would want to, really, except..). I've had kind of a mutual thing where we liked one another quite thoroughly, but DIDN'T want to screw it up by even TALKING about dating--EVER again--and one short little spree with someone I knew I wouldn't see summer with (some people act so much like how I used to act that I still fight, but I know it's worth nothing, just like it would be with myself). So, between those two and something that kind of occurred to me during the last few weeks of summer (that perhaps I have some small infatuation for a new friend), I haven't had the chance to see if I'm yet the commitment type.
So, math. Perhaps a bit easier than a relationship.
Have I mentioned how long it's been since I was part of a romantic relationship? Almost three years. A large chunk of that was by choice, due to Mr. Previous Entry. Some things just consume you to the point where you can't imagine the world any other way. Part of why I was so upset at leaving, last year, was the unresolved nature of it all. I did a lot of growing up, since then.
So anyway. I'm going to two--potentially three--concerts, the two certain ones being in the same week, and several hours away. Am I insane? Probably. One is Blink 182, My Chemical Romance, and Matt & Kim, and the other has bands like Coldplay, Joy Formidable, and THE BLACK KEYS.
YOU HEARD ME.
So freaking stoked. Now I just have to find people to take me in, after the concerts. Or people to drive part of the way home.
PS this is sick. In a good way. http://yowayowacamera.com/
Just yeah. Good mood. Good bye.
your love is gonna drown
Tuesday. 8.16.11 5:19 pm
I entered the dream standing in between the lanes of traffic with him. We were talking with one another comfortably when I heard an ungodly collision and went to see what was causing all the destruction. All the clocks were falling from the clock towers and crushing the old buildings on campus. He, in the meantime, had walked into one of the old buildings to help others. I watched from outside as a giant gear, still spinning, tore into the building he was in and killed him.
This was, of course, the night before I left for my transfer college. I woke up afraid and crying a little, at first, but then realized what my subconscious was trying to tell me:
My love, for both the college and for him, would be crushed by time. Maybe not immediately, and maybe not painlessly, but someday I'll be more removed from it, like it's only a distant memory.
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