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hip to your jive
Friday. 11.11.11 6:23 pm

I'm in a parking garage not far from here, months and months ago. I don't hear anything but our voices and footsteps, as we head towards my now lonely car. It's seven o' clock, and the sidewalks are nearly empty.

My arm is knit into his, as if it has always belonged there, and as if it always will. Despite the slight nip of the weather, outside, it's unusually warm and we're able to hold hands without fumbling around with gloves and other equally awkward barriers. His head turns towards my right temple and I'm perfectly aware that he, inches away, is waiting for me to turn mine and meet his gaze. Still speed-walking towards the vehicle, we tilt our heads and partake in the kiss that still resonates in my mind, every time I walk through a parking garage or watch Jeux D'infants.

I feel the need to explain how this doesn't mean anything at all, really, but honestly I'm just an abstract writer with a wandering mind and the question of how to spend that 11:11 wish, tonight, since this is the one night I'll be making one.

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Monday. 11.7.11 11:25 pm

I already know November and December are going to be rough months. Just by what's happened in September and October.

Guys I'm going in for a second interview, tomorrow, and it is so scary. She's going to put me on the floor and see how I do when I'm just thrown into the deep end of sales.

Like...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'm so nervous! I've done sales before, and I KNOW how to do it, but being put out there and WATCHED?

I have no trouble approaching people, I have no trouble imagining myself in a sales job, but I have all the trouble in the WORLD when I know I'm being observed! Hopefully it won't be so obvious and it will feel like I'm just working with her.

Oh my goooodnesssss though! I hope I don't choke!


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October ends
Tuesday. 11.1.11 8:16 pm

I have a big problem with fear.

Okay, it's something you can't help but feel. Fear is innate. That's an obvious one.

Something that is apparently NOT obvious to everyone: Fear isn't supposed to control you.

I came to my current college despite many worries. I had a lot of reasons not to come here, and a lot of comfort entwined with my last college--my friends were there, my home was there, and I was safe, overall, from any bad confrontations involving my past. Not so at my current college.

Even my friends tell me that they were worried for me, going into my first month as a student there. But I wasn't. AND WHYYYY NOT?

Because you can choose to let your fears speak to you, coerce you, change your mind...

Or you can grow some freaking balls and do what will make you happiest.

I'm going skydiving in the spring and it's going to ROCK.

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triple the stress?
Tuesday. 10.25.11 2:31 pm
Me looking through the math major courses: Yay, these sound interesting and like good classes I'll have fun taking.


How hard is it to triple major, again?

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