Wednesday. 9.22.10 2:18 pm
"Careful when you date passionate people, because passion swings both ways. Sometimes they'll love you, but other times they'll hate you. And when they hate you...boy do they hate you."
- youtube user "thejdspot"
I'm been kind of stressed, lately...? It's like I keep thinking of things I want to say but I can't compose my thoughts. Everything is so loud around here. I can't hear myself think. I used to have a fix for that sort of scrambled feeling, but now I'm in a new place without that hand to hold, so to speak.
I remember the week before I got an MRI, I couldn't retain information at all. I was stumbling around, and it was this odd feeling of being in a fog, how you can't quite see as far as you feel like you should be able to. I could think, but I couldn't quite grasp at the thoughts. (We assumed later that I was poisoned by an accidental overexposure one of the typical chemicals we have around the house, when the MRI came up clean.) Toward the end of the week, I encountered that fix.
And I'll tell you, that was the clearest I'd thought all month, much less all week.
Just something I've been thinking about. Since I'm one of those immensely passionate people who can't take something like that lightly. I'm a strong believer in staying with what works.
My roommate and I exercised, yesterday. I did about four miles. Today, I went alone and hit about seven. I feel so accomplished. It's just annoying knowing that my cramps completely kicked my ass, today. I should have stretched more thoroughly.
I'm thinking of taking Spanish seriously. Like, in a conversational form. Apparently they're flagging all the resumes with conversational Spanish-speakers in my projected field.
So. It would be nice to have a really good chance at a job. I'm going to attack French and Spanish with full force, then work my way through all the other languages at a less insane pace.
I can tell you that, next semester, I'll be taking them both if I can. Coming out of college trilingual or higher with the two more highly-used languages in the US in my back pocket sounds good to me.
I have a math test coming up and didn't do too spectacularly on my chemistry test. Next time, I'll be ready. I've been doing pretty well in trig, but the math questions are kind of difficult to interpret.
And I think I might have to go home on a lot of the weekends coming up. I'm getting shoes (urgent) and maybe seeing an old friend (super urgent) this weekend, then next my friend won free facials for all of us and then hopefully I get to see a friend of mine maybe...? Oh, and I'm moving some of my stuff into my mom's new house from my dad's house and grabbing some stuff I want to save (because moving usually kills stuff pretty hardcore). Then, the next weekend is my mom's birthday (spoken for itself), then the next is fall break. I'm going to try to stay at the dorm as often as possible (as in, I'm going to try to at least spend one night there during the weekend whenever I can), but it's rough!
I think we're all really lucky to have experienced any one of the five senses. We don't think about how great it is nearly enough.
There's my huge blahblahblah for the time being.
and if I was yours...
Thursday. 9.16.10 7:29 pm
but I'm not.
I've been quoting my roommate without her knowing. It's not as tricky as it seems. For the past two years of my high school career, I quoted every truly, completely funny thing someone said in my presence. When I wasn't around, Seth pretty much filled in the dirty work.
My two favorites so far (for my roommate):
“Why you throwin’ perfectly good school supplies? Kids in AFRICA wanna COLOR.”
“It’s a dead marker! And I like how you said ‘color’ not ‘eat.’”
“Kids can’t EAT no damn MARKERS. You STUPID.”
Jasmine and Tyler, September 16, 2010
“Guess who else is pregnant. …[girl's name]. …Because it’s funny, dammit. Laugh.”
Tyler on the phone, September 14, 2010
I have a bad feeling about something. And usually when I get that feeling, something actually IS UP. Uh oh.
Wednesday. 9.8.10 4:47 pm
a blog I didn't pay attention to while writing it:
Thursday. 9.2.10 4:41 pm
I packed my bag up and walked out, casually taking my hair down from its French braid and shaking the strands free. Still thinking about the Chemistry lab and walking towards the bookstore for my Norton sampler, it occurred to me (...ding!):
I was smiling.
They say that college is this big thing that will change you forever...I can't attest to that. I did come into it stable, though, and I still feel stable. Funny. I've never felt like both of my feet are on the ground, before. The world just sort of evened out and there I was, standing on it with my cape billowing behind me.
In essence, it just clicked.
Also, I'm eating a cinnamon graham cracker and it's really good. That could be adding to my even nature. (THERE. I broke the serious tone.)
But I think it's mostly the whole, accepting myself as a person of ever-changing nature, relinquishing all ties but never forgetting the love that formed them, and cherishing all days while never wasting them, deal.
Anyway. I went and bought some safety goggles. They fog up (i.e. piss me the hell off when I'm trying to use a buret. CAN'T A WOMAN MEASURE OUT TWENTY mLs IN PEACE?). I'm displeased. First thing I'm doing is rigging them so they don't do that anymore (but so they still protect my eyes). I also had to wrangle up some work that I wasn't aware of, which I did. Generally, this was a productive day.
Tyler was talking to me about some stuff, before she all but passed out in her bed. She was laying there, her hair wrapped up in a purple scarf, and we were talking about me sleep talking* and things of that nature.
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN TO CATCH A PREDATOR?" she asked me.
"No... Why are you talking to me with your bear?" I responded. She moved her teddy bear around a little more and I'm just as confused as ever.
*I sleep talk. Oh yes. OH YES. Apparently, after seeing The Last Exorcism, she came home and went to go to bed. She says that all of the sudden I went, "Huh?" and when she questioned me about it I started laughing. She says if I start crawling on the ceiling she's going to "shoot my ass." She said it while laughing, but we'll just say I'm never crawling on the ceiling when she's around. She's like me in the way that the rabid raccoon comes out of the cute little kitten if you ever cross it.
...I'm her thugette.
...I'll cut you.
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