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eons ago
Saturday. 3.17.12 1:37 am

We were walking to the campus gym (well. One of them) and passed by the campus club for games, which essentially translates to twenty Magic matches going on in one room. My nostalgia pecked at my insides like a hungry bird.

"What are they doing?" She was staring into the room, her regular pout turned down more deeply into a disgusted frown.

"They're playing this game, Magic. It's sort of like a card game, but more like trading cards that you sort of send into battle. It takes some imagination. These are the people who play things like League of Legends and pre-order all the decent video games."


Maybe I didn't do a good job explaining who I am, or what my friends have been like in the past. Maybe I didn't describe him in full detail, either, because I was getting over him, sort of, in my own time. I was moving on. Maybe that was on me.

All the same...you don't make fun of people who play Magic. You don't talk about the guys at the table next to you, at dinner, and giggle about them, and joke that you're going to go hit on them for laughs, because they're five THOUSAND times the person you are, and I can say that WITHOUT EVEN MEETING THEM. You don't write people off for having interests that aren't widely socially-acceptable, because guess what? This is how nerds make friends. We find other people who like strategy games (because let's be honest, there aren't many good ones, anymore, that are normal, by society's standards), and we find the people who aren't drinking every weekend, and we sleep leaning against their backs while they play Magic until we start resenting the game, a little, and we end up thinking that they're the most wonderful, gentle people in the world, and that no one is so sensible without wanting anything that society says they should want.

And we end up feeling like CRAP when it's all passed and it's time to move on, because honestly it was the best three nearly-solid years in almost twenty years.

"...I used to like someone who would be right in there with them, had he gotten a scholarship here. Those are my people. Those are the people who gave a shit about me when people like you didn't."

I didn't end up going to the gym.

You know how I said I didn't have time for romantic interests?

My disinterest brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, "You don't wanna date?"

Damn right, I don't wanna date.

I could teach you, but I'd rather run away.

...Anyway. I guess you could say I've gone out on a couple of extremely unsuccessful dates. My grades stayed put. The world didn't end.

Just...coffee. Like, what...is the deal...with coffee. What is the deal with dinner and a movie. WHAT is the deal with romantic walks.

Sure, they're fun, every once in a while, when a significant other and I are trying to be corny and typical. But like...if I'm going to take the time to get to know someone, and have that time possibly slightly ehhhgotowaste when we end up not clicking...well, frankly, I'd rather use that time hiking with him, or learning to salsa.

A lot of the time, I feel like I expect things that no one else expects out of people. I don't expect my dates to be emotionally open, but I do expect them to be interesting--that there won't be a moment during our conversation when I gain total awareness of the situation and visibly wince. I don't expect them to spend money on me (although the gesture to pay is incredibly sweet, and I will give them one polite out and one sincere out* before agreeing to allow it), but I do expect to feel like I'm doing something that's worth the time...something rich in experience.

Something as simple as carving pumpkins for Halloween! Get tiny $8 ones, you each get one, and there isn't some joint custody thing going on with one single pumpkin if you don't connect!

GAAHHHHAH NOT THAT HARD TO BE ROMANTIC BUT UNIQUE. Also carving pumpkins is excellent for people who enjoy using cutting instruments to create precise shapes and figures (i.e. people who are just itching to start practicing suturing on cadavers and bananas). Also I love carving pumpkins.

Also it's 3:16 and his internet shut down and I have work in the morning...but I was just talking to Magic Man. He made the same Kelis reference I did for a different subject, without knowing. Weird. Anyway, this is my official out for the night, because now I can assume that he is not getting back online, and I'm good to leave with a clean conscience.

*(And I'm not going to make myself seem more elegant than I am about things.)
Unicornasaurus, seeing the guy going to pay, grabbing her card: Ohmygosh, here, let me pay for my half.
Lovestruck fool: No, it's cool, I got it.**
Unicornasaurus: Are you sure? I like to flex my money muscles, since those are essentially the only ones I have.
Lovestruck fool, hopefully smiling: Yeah, trust me, it's no problem. Also your sexy and totally existent muscles are so sexy and bulgy or something.
Unicornasaurus: Well, thanks. I'll get dessert, okay? Also let's go make out, now that I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger with boobs.
Lovestruck fool: Fair enough. I'm looking forward to caressing your muscular neck with my wimpy Man on a Date lips. It will be a little too moist, and I guarantee I will be terrible at French kissing.
Unicornasaurus: I'm so turned on right now. My backseat, ten minutes.***

** Being nonchalant about it and NOT acting like you don't do it by habit is extremely awesomeattractivesuperduper.
*** I don't actually say this...but the rest is totally valid.

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Thursday. 3.8.12 2:21 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Thursday. 3.1.12 1:05 am

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caps lock cruise control
Monday. 2.27.12 2:48 am

I laughed out loud when I realized what I was singing, today (this song). So appropriate for everyday use.

I'm the only person I know who works two jobs and has a pre-health concentration added to her psych major...

It was only recently that I realized that there's a reason for this.

It's been an adjustment. I still don't think that I have a huge amount of free time, but I have been finding an hour or so every day that I can use for my own enjoyment. And then on weekends, I can maximize my time by spending time with friends during the dead hours of the night/morning! It can be done! I can still have friends!

Oh, one last thing; some (most) of my friends, down here, keep talking to me about all the great times they had drinking/doing other recreational naughty naughty things.

Hey, guess what?!



If you have to qualify ANY story with, "You had to be there/drunk/otherwise inebriated to think it was funny/awesome/fun..." IT'S NOT A GOOD STORY. It's like saying, "Hey, I didn't invite you out, so let me tell you what a boring time we had, then tell you that you just don't understand how fun it was because you weren't there."


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