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an anecdote
Thursday. 4.3.14 1:03 am
The adorable person who sits beside me in one of my classes comes in, and it's obvious that he feels dead on the inside for having to attend this particular class.

He looks at me and says, "I want her to not show up, or for today to be a movie day. That's all I want."

She comes in and I tell him, "Your dreams are dead."

She starts class by talking about the reading quiz we had. Now, I'm not an idiot--I know I've done badly. I didn't even know which country she was talking about, in the quiz, and talked about a completely different area of the world. This is because I hate our assigned book--it's the first-attempt meatloaf dinner of the literary world.

So, she frowns at some of our grades, and says that, because some of us did so badly, we were going to have to watch a few videos in class to clarify the quiz questions.

He looked at me like it was Christmas. I said, "I failed this quiz so you could have movie day. Don't forget that."

"Thank you."

And that was how I learned the true meaning behind the saying, "Sacrifice one for the good of many."

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this is basically a bulleted list of anger (ask for pass--must be double safe)
Sunday. 3.30.14 4:34 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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don't click this if you don't want to read me being happy
Wednesday. 3.26.14 10:57 pm
I walk up to the pharmacy counter, and the adorable redhead pharmacist immediately says my full name.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD, I scream from the rooftops

OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, I cry from an airplane

SENPAI NOTICED ME, I write in the sky, piloting a different airplane

AM I DEAD IS THIS HEAVEN, I wonder loudly in my mind

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Also, I apparently won an award for leadership and apparently like 15 people are chosen out of my entire school, every year, and that's pretty magnificent. Then I got the president chair with my organization, today. Also, the leadership group I'm in is taking all of us on a ship and honoring us with a banquet and like holy Valentine's Day leftovers, Batman.

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psa
Tuesday. 3.18.14 11:03 pm

She isn't well-liked in general, and it's already so hot and humid that everyone is just done with each other, for the day. In fact, it's been a really off week in general; it seems like there is always some minor spat that turns into a line of gossip, and I feel like our steady little familial infrastructure has collapsed completely.

But she's in the breezeway, crying, because she's frustrated with us, and she's still reeling from her recent breakup, on top of it...and you don't let people cry alone, because it isn't right.

"Come here."

And the person that no one really likes very much becomes very likable to me, suddenly, when she collapses into a hug like she's been waiting a while for it.

We are all just giant babies. Except those who really avoid touching (and I mean phobias and major anxiety issues), the instinct to need to be held, once we've passed a certain emotional line, is still alive and well. I forget that, sometimes. Even though my first reflex is to support and cuddle...well, reflexes are thoughtless, and I forget that people need that affirmation, the affection, the...simple presence of someone who wants you to feel better.

Her falling into that hug was a kick in the gut, because I forgot how much people need to be able to fall into hugs, every once in a while. If you have the physical and emotional ability, hug sad people. Hug happy people. Do not hug angry people.

This has been a public service announcement.

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