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Obligatory end of the year post.
Monday. 12.31.07 11:39 pm
This year ... was a year.

Next year, it will also be a year.

I've been avoiding most of the end of year lists, I don't feel like hearing anymore about shit going down back in April. I haven't read the paper for the past two days, because they started going on about it. It gets very old very quickly.

Maybe something interesting will happen this year, though I doubt it. This year will be like last year will be like the year before will be like the year before. The sun sets, the sun rises, and things more or less stay the same.

Good stuff, this year-end/year-begin business.

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Oh Lawd.
Thursday. 12.27.07 5:26 pm
Pre-warning: This entry is long, and has issues. It isn't quite emo, moreso angry... like the rest of my posts. :p

This dog says everything succinctly.

I'm not sure if I should be upset/annoyed, or amused, or even bewildered. I'm amused, but at the same time.. completely disgusted.

What has me in such a pickle? My dad and his black power/purity bullshit.

I was offering my aunt a little coloring book set I got when I was in New Jersey, while I was visiting Dave. She starts going on about "zomg you have boyfriend?" because apparently my parents don't talk about him. (I'm not surprised, he's evil because he is white and has a penis.)

So my aunt goes to say something to my dad who is going on about how I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not old enough, bullshit, more bullshit, I don't fucking know bullshit. I don't know if I can emphasize this enough, but THEN he goes on about how I should be going to a "good" black school like VSU or Norfolk State, both HBCUs, and how VSU is close AND the TOP HBCU (which really doesn't mean anything, unless you go to work in a "black" field, or something liberal artsy, where the fact that you are black matters...), which obviously makes it SO much better than Virginia Tech. I'd much rather go to VT, and half fail, than go to VSU and pass. I think it looks much better on me to have gone to VT, which ranks nationally in my major, than to go to VSU which is "#1 HBCU" in the country.. for graduate studies, if I remember correctly.

Because I don't need to be having a boyfriend and all the other bullshit, I'm not grown, blahblahblah... Yet he fails to notice that hrm, most of the people in the town my age? Totally have kids. At least one, it seems. (I'm basing this on the fact that every person who hits on me, no matter where in the city asks "How many kids you got") Lord knows had I gone to an HBCU, I'd probably either be a 5th-dan blackbelt, or have five kids by now... (yes, I know, that's horrible.)

My dad is just a giant tool on legs.

Then I feel crappy, because my aunt wanted to know if I had a picture of him. Of course, though it's been two years, I have no wallet-pictures (hint, hint :p). So she asks if I have any on my phone... My phone can barely display the graphics it came with. So she asks if I have any on my computer. Those are slightly creepy ones I've stolen (yeah, I'm creepy like that), and I figured if I showed her, it'd start up on this whole "zomg he is teh white?" thing that I didn't feel like getting into, though now that I think about it, my aunt seems that she would not be like *some* people.

I feel kinda crappy about that now, just because I shouldn't have to worry about things like that, and because I know that Dave is teh superest most awesometacular person ever, and I should have no reason to want to hide him from people, other than the fact that he is so superest most awesometacular, and that they might want to steal him. I seem to have no problem saying to anyone "yes, we are breaking your taboos, which you can take and shove up your ass"...
I'd like to hope that it's not me being... whatever, and just me not wanting to hear my dad rant and rave about this that and other that he doesn't know two shits about... I hate to seriously call colors, but it seems that the only time I even begin to worry about crazy things like this is around black people, or at least the ones in the ghetto. I can be around almost ANYONE, and it isn't a problem.

I like to live my life forgetting that there are "different" skin colors, almost like we're all cats with different fur. What the hell does it matter that gray tabby cat and yellow tabby cat had kittens? The cats are still cats, right? Sure, you can get specific and say "well there are siamese cats and persian cats and main coon cats", but in all, if you just want a cat and not a particular breed, you don't really care about the color, you care about the personality... how it carries itself, does it look healthy? Maybe if you're superstitious, you don't want the black cat.

The next time I hear some stupid liberal say "black people can't be racist", or ANYTHING along those lines, I'm totally going to punch them in the mouth. Assault and battery charges be damned.

You know, I know people that talk this bullshit are spewing exactly that, bullshit, so why am I so annoyed? Why do I care what they think, if I know that I think they are full of it and shouldn't be listened to? Why am I listening? If I am doing what makes me happy in my life (save getting the fuck out of dodge regarding home), why does it matter? I walk around, not giving two shits about anyone who dares glance at me cross-eyed, but yet this bothers me. What I need to do is just flat out say 'FUCK YOU! (any more smartass questions?)" and carry on with myself. Fuck everyone else and what they might think.

I am myself, and I am going to do for myself what makes me happy and prosperous. You know what, this is such an awesome statement, I am going to repeat it, larger.

I am myself, and I am going to do for myself what makes me happy and prosperous.

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GRRRR.
Thursday. 12.27.07 2:49 pm
I am getting tired of this.

Every. Fucking. Time. That I come home, people can't WAIT for me to do their menial tasks. Look for this. Type that. Copy this.

WTF I AM NOT A SECRETARY, SLAVE, HIRED LABOR, ETC.

People cannot seem to fucking wait for me to be home, so I can do all of the bullshit that they put off forever.

Yeah, whatever, I'm on break, I've got time to do it. That's bullshit. They've got just as much time while I'm off at school, or god forbid they are on vacation as well.

Nope, they can't be fucking arsed to do anything.

I'm pretty sure that soon I'm going to be asked to completely overhaul the treadmill. Why? Because she can't take care of it, he can't take care of it, and it sounds like the motor is going to burn out any moment. It's been like that for MONTHS.

Grrr.

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This post is lacking holiday cheer.
Tuesday. 12.25.07 3:41 pm
One thing that continues to annoy me:

Every. Single. Time. I come home, the neighbor kid is knocking at the door, wanting me to put music on his "mp3".

He got a new one for xmas. It's *still* xmas, you know, time you're supposed to spend with your family... He's here, getting me to rip music.

Sure, maybe I should be full of cheer and do it without a complaint.

I still need to wrap gifts and all of that jazz.

Of course, if I were to say no, I'd either start some sort of BS between us and the neighbors (yet we've been almost perfect, if they've had a problem (like a cat chasing birds... ::rolls eyes:: I hope they have mice now) we've moved to fix it. ), or I'd be such a HORRIBLE person, and god wouldn't bless me or some other crap that my mom likes to spew.

He's talking about having FIVE MORE CDS... Grar.

I can't stay at my dad's for more than 24 hours without him coming over.

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Cops. Grr.
Monday. 12.24.07 12:12 pm
I'd like to know why it is that whenever I walk to the local Subway on a business day, I get stopped by the cops.

Last time, it was for truancy... this time, I don't even know. He says it's because I was running across the street.

I was walking, and realized there was construction/other crap across the st from the Subway. So I ran across the street. I got closer, realized that it was further down than I thought, so I ran back to the side of the street I was initially on so I wouldn't have to cross two separate lanes of traffic that I don't like crossing.

So I run across the st to Subway, because it's a busy road. I scurry across the parking lot, because it's a parking lot and I'd hate to be that person, sauntering like they've no cares in the world. I get what I'm getting, and scurry back across the parking lot, because there's a guy driving through it and I didn't want to be in the way. Then I run back across the busy street to get to the other side.

Of course, while I'm walking back... who decides to stop me other than Mr. Cop himself. I see him stop and think "Damnit! Go away cop!" but no, he needs to make sure everything is alright. :/

Guess I need to remember that what seems normal to me doesn't seem normal to other people...

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The shakes! They have stopped!
Sunday. 12.23.07 1:58 pm
So now it's time for a real entry.

Nothing much has happened in the week or two or three that NuTang has been NoTang.

Finished up finals, came home for break. Nothing too exciting.

Well. The first day I was home from break, I was walking to find coffee and a newspaper in the ghetto.

I went from this end to that end, no luck on decent coffee or the newspaper my dad wanted.

I scurry across a busy street, into this creepy shop. I scurry out. I scurry back across the busy street, only to have my ankle roll when I get to the other side.

I now have a lovely scar on my knee, and a wound-thing on my hand. They were quite bloody when I first got them.

I couldn't think of a less loserly story to to tell, like how I got into a fight with urban ninjas, or I was trying to fly by throwing myself at the ground and missing... No, I cross the street, my ankle rolled, and I fell.

I'd have been alright if it weren't the main road for the area.

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