Crazy like a bedbug!

Pre-warning: This entry is long, and has issues. It isn't quite emo, moreso angry... like the rest of my posts. :p

This dog says everything succinctly.

I'm not sure if I should be upset/annoyed, or amused, or even bewildered. I'm amused, but at the same time.. completely disgusted.

What has me in such a pickle? My dad and his black power/purity bullshit.

I was offering my aunt a little coloring book set I got when I was in New Jersey, while I was visiting Dave. She starts going on about "zomg you have boyfriend?" because apparently my parents don't talk about him. (I'm not surprised, he's evil because he is white and has a penis.)

So my aunt goes to say something to my dad who is going on about how I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not old enough, bullshit, more bullshit, I don't fucking know bullshit. I don't know if I can emphasize this enough, but THEN he goes on about how I should be going to a "good" black school like VSU or Norfolk State, both HBCUs, and how VSU is close AND the TOP HBCU (which really doesn't mean anything, unless you go to work in a "black" field, or something liberal artsy, where the fact that you are black matters...), which obviously makes it SO much better than Virginia Tech. I'd much rather go to VT, and half fail, than go to VSU and pass. I think it looks much better on me to have gone to VT, which ranks nationally in my major, than to go to VSU which is "#1 HBCU" in the country.. for graduate studies, if I remember correctly.

Because I don't need to be having a boyfriend and all the other bullshit, I'm not grown, blahblahblah... Yet he fails to notice that hrm, most of the people in the town my age? Totally have kids. At least one, it seems. (I'm basing this on the fact that every person who hits on me, no matter where in the city asks "How many kids you got") Lord knows had I gone to an HBCU, I'd probably either be a 5th-dan blackbelt, or have five kids by now... (yes, I know, that's horrible.)

My dad is just a giant tool on legs.

Then I feel crappy, because my aunt wanted to know if I had a picture of him. Of course, though it's been two years, I have no wallet-pictures (hint, hint :p). So she asks if I have any on my phone... My phone can barely display the graphics it came with. So she asks if I have any on my computer. Those are slightly creepy ones I've stolen (yeah, I'm creepy like that), and I figured if I showed her, it'd start up on this whole "zomg he is teh white?" thing that I didn't feel like getting into, though now that I think about it, my aunt seems that she would not be like *some* people.

I feel kinda crappy about that now, just because I shouldn't have to worry about things like that, and because I know that Dave is teh superest most awesometacular person ever, and I should have no reason to want to hide him from people, other than the fact that he is so superest most awesometacular, and that they might want to steal him. I seem to have no problem saying to anyone "yes, we are breaking your taboos, which you can take and shove up your ass"...
I'd like to hope that it's not me being... whatever, and just me not wanting to hear my dad rant and rave about this that and other that he doesn't know two shits about... I hate to seriously call colors, but it seems that the only time I even begin to worry about crazy things like this is around black people, or at least the ones in the ghetto. I can be around almost ANYONE, and it isn't a problem.

I like to live my life forgetting that there are "different" skin colors, almost like we're all cats with different fur. What the hell does it matter that gray tabby cat and yellow tabby cat had kittens? The cats are still cats, right? Sure, you can get specific and say "well there are siamese cats and persian cats and main coon cats", but in all, if you just want a cat and not a particular breed, you don't really care about the color, you care about the personality... how it carries itself, does it look healthy? Maybe if you're superstitious, you don't want the black cat.

The next time I hear some stupid liberal say "black people can't be racist", or ANYTHING along those lines, I'm totally going to punch them in the mouth. Assault and battery charges be damned.

You know, I know people that talk this bullshit are spewing exactly that, bullshit, so why am I so annoyed? Why do I care what they think, if I know that I think they are full of it and shouldn't be listened to? Why am I listening? If I am doing what makes me happy in my life (save getting the fuck out of dodge regarding home), why does it matter? I walk around, not giving two shits about anyone who dares glance at me cross-eyed, but yet this bothers me. What I need to do is just flat out say 'FUCK YOU! (any more smartass questions?)" and carry on with myself. Fuck everyone else and what they might think.

I am myself, and I am going to do for myself what makes me happy and prosperous. You know what, this is such an awesome statement, I am going to repeat it, larger.

I am myself, and I am going to do for myself what makes me happy and prosperous.

Oh my god.
If every rant could be like this, the world would be a better place. *bows*

» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-12-27 07:10:29

I totally see where you're coming from, but from a different angle (does that make sense?)

See, I'm white and my boyfriend is half Korean, and we live grew up in a city in WA that has a very large Korean community -- and a lot of Koreans (not all, and not my boyfriend's dad, of course, because he married an Irish woman) have a huge thing about racial purity, given that Korea has been invaded SO MANY TIMES and most Koreans are full-blooded Koreans.

For one thing, most the Koreans that my boyfriend comes across have a problem because he is half white -- for another, we are constantly given certain looks and being outright told that we shouldn't be together.

And it doesn't help that his dad is often trying to set his older brother up with a "nice Korean girl," which isn't directed at my boyfriend but certainly begs the question of what he really thinks about him dating me.

=[

I agree with you on the kitties thing.

Do what makes you happy. My boyfriend and I have been together almost three years in spite of things and it's great.

PS. love the icanhascheezburger dog. I love that site.
» alexsedotcx on 2007-12-28 02:50:54

sigh. why do people always look at something 'indifferent' to find fault with?

that's a pity that people could not just put this kind of issue at rest and look at the bigger picture and enjoy life.

why spend so many hours thinking of this kind of thing until get older faster?

never understood.
» renaye on 2007-12-28 03:08:55

It's just that your rant has substance. There is a clear intellect behind your ravings, as opposed to the "omgz i hates lifeeee keeeeel meeee."

My grandpa, who is 100% chinese, was upset when my dad first started dating my mom. Why could my dad not find a nice asian woman and start a nice asian family? Eventually he gave in, and now they get along perfectly well. Hopefully the same thing will happen with you and c00kie.

You pointed out something that I never really realized: black people can be racist too. History has made them the victims, so that's usually how people see it. I've heard the phrase "....like white people" so many times. If I were to say "....like black people" I'd get jumped so fast. It's a strange world.

Dave should be proud of you right now.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-12-28 03:29:15

You totally should do whatever that makes you happy and fuck the rest. I don't have a boyfriend yet, I wonder how my parents would react but I totally know that my mother would disown me or something of that sort if I turn out to be a homosexual.

Muffy is right, Dave should be proud of you.
» Nuttz on 2007-12-28 05:04:14

Haha, mine scares easily too. Our first date was Silent Hill and he jumped like EVERY TIME something happened, hehe.

And yeah...people who say "black people can't be racist" are very ignorant and should be throttled with ball-gags in order to keep them from saying such things around impressionable people.
» shockandhorror on 2007-12-29 12:18:24

I've seen all kinds of racism. And I have met people that found it impossible to believe that someone other than a white person could be racist. And I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who realizes that racism is equal opportunity. As you said, their are some black people that hate white people. I see it when it comes to other nationalities too.

I like what you had to say about kittens. It's very true and definitely helps put into prospective how everyone should feel about others. I'd much rather have a mutt like cat with the worlds best personality than a purebred that will bite me. I want my friends the same way. As well as relationships. And getting along with others in general.

You're a very smart person and more people should feel the way we do. If tolerance and "racial-blindness" could catch on, it'd be easier for everyone to get along.
» money4blogging on 2007-12-29 09:39:54

I really appreciate your words and admire your ability to be strong for your relationship. I'm kind of going through a similar situation, trying to tell different family members about my fella, who is Muslim. As much as I want to tell my aunts and uncles to go fuck themselves when they tell me I'm headed for trouble, I find myself making excuses and trying to justify our relationship which I just need to stop doing.
» Someones_Muse on 2007-12-29 11:29:01

In reply to your comment:
That is a great deal that you got! I haven't gotten that lucky yet, but I've found some great deals in the past. A couple valentines days ago I was able to get hello kitty valentines for a dime a box. That was cool.
» money4blogging on 2007-12-30 02:36:16

weeee
i've been there...in my family anyone who isnt italian is bad...and i've brought home guys of a full spectrum of races and ethnicities...meh..it shouldn't matter, you're right...it's silly, but all we can really do is try to not let it daunt us.
» invisibleinkling on 2007-12-30 08:00:37

Hey I'm just dropping by to wish you a wonderful 2008, full of health, wealth and love!!
» alexxasick on 2007-12-31 11:09:11

Black people, not racist?
What the hell? EVERY RACE is racist. We can't help it; we're all assholes.
» middaymoon on 2008-01-03 06:08:36

Damn, it sucks when your parents can't support your relationship. Hopefully your aunt will support you even if your dad can't/won't! If you feel guilty why not take a nice picture and send it to her with a card or something? Too mushy and not you maybe...

*Thanks God she didn't have to grow up in a Korean family.*
» Katrina on 2008-01-03 09:33:45

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