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Crazy like a bedbug!
Weather!
Contesty Things!
This spot is totally for all of the "post a link on your page/blog/thing to enter the contest!" sorts of things.

I WILL WIN!
Stalking!
My 3DS friend code is 1676-3752-0625, and here is my Mii QR :

My Mii QR Code
My jeans will need a stronger zipper
Monday. 4.6.09 10:34 am
as too much meat will be pressing on them.

So sayeth the spam. I wonder what sort of meat it is I am going to be stealing. I guess a good side of beef would work.

Anyway. I started thumbing through creepy wedding catalog, and found the following things to be worthy of commentary:

There are stigging Save the Date magnets in this catalog.

Right. I would not send those.

Oooh!

Beer coozies!
So you, your now husband, your best man, and maid of honor can get COMPLETELY trashed... and no one will know.

Or I guess you could do it in public.

This one is a generic boring one.

This one is cute.

Two Hearts One love... two toilets. >.>

Tissues. That's right, you had BETTER be crying at my wedding. I am awesome and totally leaving the market, as is the person I am marrying. The two awesomest people EVER to be in the dating pool have now left. Cry like the little girl that you are!

Yeah, I bet you hate us! You want to set us on fire! Well guess what. You'll either have to write us a note telling us why you hate us, or just suck it up and enjoy its mintyness. No matches here.

Alright, in all seriousness, cliche though it may be, this cake topper is pretty shiny. It's probably cheap and made of recycled stripper-heels.

Really hate us? wish bad things upon us! This box, it is also seriously nifty.

This floor cling is nice, but what do I do with it after I'm done?

Sweet Creams sound tasty. They would be much awesomer if they were buttermints. Everyone loves buttermints. If they don't, then they aren't going to be invited.

Oooh I found buttermints, but they are cross-tacular. :/ There is a separate candy section, I'll have to write about it. OOoh non-cross buttermints... and popcorn! and... eterni-tea. >.>

Funeral fans! Oh wait, this is a wedding catalog... >.>

I am enjoying this WAAAAAYYYY too much. I think I will stop here for this particular theme. The next section will be Mr. & Mrs. Prestty... HOLY CRAP THERE ARE TIARAS. I think I would need WHOA A PARASOL... hrm. I will need th... aww, it's for the flowergirl. If she had it, I'd beat her up and take it away. >.> I think I'll stick with the top hat.

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I feel dirty.
Wednesday. 4.1.09 4:14 pm
Earlier today, I had planned to post some odd thing about "If I get married..."

I don't remember what the point of it was, but it was something along the lines of "I will need cocktail weenies, a top hat, and meatballs."

I wonder what it could have been. Oh! I remember what it was. I won't do any of that stupid "lookit at the ring! then lookit us. Well, by us I mean me. He's an afterthought. BUT THE RING IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT"

But that is not what I was going to post about. Though it also made me feel dirty.

I stumbled across this website (reading a completely unrelated one) called STFU, Marrieds. It's about all of those people that make silly updates about their husband/wife/whatever.

Sayeth the author: Married couples on Facebook with their inane status updates and wall posts are the bane of my internet existence.

ANYWAY.

That is not why I started this post. Though it also made me feel dirty. >.>

I went to drop of the rent and pick up the mail. The mail was junk. Walking away, I saw what I thought was a catalog. Not just any catalog, but an Oriental Trading catalog. The best, most full of nearly useless junk EVER catalog.

So of course I picked it up.

But it is not the standard Halloween, Angry Pink Heart Day, Live up to Drunken Stereotypes Day, Thanksgiving, or not even Christmas/New Year's OT.

This is a blipping WEDDING OT. Seriously. Are they going to eventually have a Kwanzaa OT? A Bar/Bat Mitzvah OT? I don't think there's a graduation one, though they do have large sections for it....

Therefore, as rightly as I should, I feel dirty. One for snagging discarded mail. Two for being excited over a blipping wedding OT. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I know it's an OT catalog, so I can expect to see ridiculous and completely unnecessary, but awesome things that I really have no need for, or if it's because I know it's an OT catalog, so I can expect to see ridiculous and completely unnecessary, but awesome things that I really have no need for, but could needlessly daydream about "oh I will need this favor because it is AWESOME".

I'm gonna go take a shower.

Maybe I'll post another entry with some of the cooler things in it.

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Are you going to get Confickered? (also some funny)
Tuesday. 3.31.09 7:58 pm
"If you are unable to reach our web site, you may be infected. In that case you will need to get to a computer that is not infected, download our specialized Conficker removal tool and run it on the infected machine before installing new antivirus software."

So it sayeth in the middle of the page. I think I understand that perhaps it's a "this is reposted somewhere" or "not reading it on their own computer" line of thought, but then it says "go to a computer that isn't infected". Obviously if you can reach the website, you're on a non-infected computer.... Why would I go to another that isn't infected?

So I decided that since tomorrow is April Fool's Day, and Dave's birthday is in about two weeks, I could play a pretty mean prank on him: Get a box, tape it up, wrap it all fancy-like, and give it to him tomorrow, but tell him he can't open it until his birthday.

Inside of the box? A small note: "April Fool's!" or something like that. Maybe I'd put it on a spring. Or on the snake in a fake can of nuts.

That'd be horrible.

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Dyeing eggs.
Saturday. 3.28.09 6:50 pm
Apparently I am crazy.

Why?

Because I eat my easter eggs after I dye them.

Apparently, the proper thing to do is to put them in a bowl and show them off for a few days, and then throw ALL of the eggs away.

What a waste of eggs!

They're for showing off and not eating. Well, yes, but I can show them off before I eat them... Oh look at my awesome egg shell!

Go figure.

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Spam Nerdery.
Tuesday. 3.24.09 8:06 pm
So I got a spam, and the subject is "Your wife need your attention? Solve all the problems with IT".

Of course, being myself, I initially read that as "Solve all the problems with Information Technology"...

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Well poop and call me Margaret.
Monday. 3.23.09 12:11 pm
I have been invited to my cousin's wedding.

I'm not sure what I think of that. Is it a "we're inviting you because you're family and feel obligated?" or is it a "Oh, hey, no hard feelings, come see us jump the broom/get hitched/stomp some glass". I think if/when I get married, I'm totally gonna have to stomp glass. And jump a broom. I've already decided that I will need a top hat, meatballs, and cocktail weenies. How can you have a wedding without cocktail weenies?

I asked my mom about the registry, and I totally know what I am going to get them.

...

Knives. =.= :D No, just kidding. No knives. Aren't those supposed to be horrible gifts to give people for weddings? Besides, these aren't fancy 50 dollar knives. Also, I'm not looking to somehow give myself bad luck.

Ooooh I wonder. >.> I won't wonder those things, haha. Besides, I could always flat out ask. But I won't. Though now I am triply curious.

I feel slightly obligated to spend more than 50 dollars, mostly because of the "oh hey, I'm related to you, blah de blah, and totally gave a friend a 50 dollar gift". But then again, said friend's 50 dollar gift was the cheapest thing on the registry...

Maybe I will just stick with one thing on the registry. And perhaps a small gift. Of cheez. Or not.

Maybe I will go get my hairs done for easter, then. It should still be holding up by May.

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