The month of November has been especially long to me.
First the holidays, my exams, birthdays, my grandma visits then the roadshows.

I've clubbed twice this month, woohoo, and gotten so drunk during once i thought im going to die. My sis told me the next morning that i was crying irrationaly, and telling them where my savings are, how i wanna distribute them after i pass on. LOL. totally absurd. maybe it's the stress or watever im feeling...watever man lol.

i wish i can update more, but i've got tons of work piling on my desk, will update when im back at home.

*updated*

12.02am

mood swings.

period.

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Two rdshows withnin 2 weeks...

im officially done with them...

Maybe it's the rainy days...or maybe it's that particular someone ive met...or perhaps it's just the album i've been playing on repeat mode, i think i've been swayed by my own sentiment and someone had just colored my emotion.

Im thankful for that feeling i had, but this morning when i woke up its reason and realism that has taken over.

I hate the word destine, no one shld be destine for anything, and nobody shld determind beforehand what he or she is gonna become. Im a believer that our destiny is in our own hands.

but ive reluctantly consent to my own destiny silently...

and pls dont make me say it cuz its so sad.lol


:: on a brighter note::

gonna enjoy my weekend off : )

rivery valley here i come...

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my msn is crazy, logging me off every few seconds...

I decide to blog although communication is only one way. The truth is i really cant be bothered these days. Im usually on a offline mode in msn simply becuz i really dont feel like talking, i thought of blocking certain users...but realized i must as well remove my whole msn.lol.

my dearest popo is leaving tml and im starting to miss her. i cried everytime she leaves when im young...it only got better in recent years with me hiding behind inside the loo or trying to concenrate of something im doing and waving goodbye with the other hand.

i wonder whats the meaning to it all...

my life...

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Been duper busy the past week, kj birthday, rdshow and most importantly my grandma is in town. I'm dont mean anything bad here, but she's my only living grandparent so im making full use of the time i have with her, everything can wait

She's just so cool...i thought she'll probably break her knee after hearing im not intending to get married, have kids or start my own family, i just wish for a life of singlehood? ::i'll explain when i have the time:: and to my biggest surprise she is not only cool abt it, she's also just so supportive as well. like wad the...lol..

anyway i love my popo. i'll post some pics.........when i have the time!


PS :till now...i still dislike you like hell

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I'm back at work, that explains the lapse of entries.

Recap my week so far

::Wed::
Caught movie Saving Face, rush home to mug for PR paper the next day

::Thur::
Last paper, given the time and the loss of sleep, i gotta thank lady luck that i managed all questions. Did some shopping and met up teck.

::Fri::
Work, dlb O and zouk, first time after its revamp, say my hi's to miss kj. Didnt enter...y...see saturday.

::Sat::
Work

::Sun::
its not even woth mentioning

::Mon::
Work, dinner at clementi. someone own me a lifetime...

::Tue::
Work

Anyone enjoy watching commercials? i find myself rushing out of showers just to catch two tv ads. Starry Night by Sookee, and the Larcose men perfume ad. If anyone of u happens to know the theme song for these ads, tag me pls!!

this is actually a useless post.why do i even bother typing lol.

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Anticipating for this movie
Perhaps Love
http://www.perhapslovemovie.com/main.html
Its like a china's version of Moulin Rouge, and who else but Takeshi will be starring in it!

Lately, i've been into the china craze? lol. And unlike the past, i wanna go china.
i used to stereotype them, i bet most of the ppl does. *admit it* when u hear he's a chinaman u proabaly give a face. But for the recent years, ive come to realize china is growing...catching up, in fact everyone are trying to break into china, though my realization comes abit too late. China is considered a developed country now. They are no longer the mad chinaman who carry red blue big plastic bag shouting "Hey comrade!" they got stereotyped from those hk movies anymore. Culturally, they have won us hands down, most are culturally riched, but i must admit 5 out of 10 are actually quite crude, got that impression from the china aunties i ordered Ban Mian from.lol. Lately i've come to known some really good works from there, yknow Stefanie new album was collaborated with china's producers? Pop songs which uses chinese instruments like er hu, bi ba has are hot, just think Jay Chou. Movies are now getting produced there as well, because of the culturally riched and beautiful settings/landscapes, its the overall feel, we can never get that in Singapore. My personal fav is seeing the old shanghai being revive in movies, see Sammi Cheng Everlasting Regret. They are coming out with good movies like Perhaps Love, hk directors are all more eager to venture into China these days, seeing the number of collaborations during recent years. And did i mention they have good actors/actress? seriously. Liu Ye is my fav!

So the next time i walk pass a descendant of the dragon lol, i'll not just sneer and giggle at his thick chinaman accent, instead i might ponder which part of china he might be frm? Like how we hate to be considered as people of china by those ignorant ang mohs, china are made up of many states or provinces and they are actually very much diff....

I wanna tour china one day, not with my parents or visiting those Deng Sua relatives haha. I happened to see China in the world map that day, its so big, as big as US, or even bigger, it's so densely populated they impose law for only one child in every family. I understand the need to break into china, if every chinese there were to get a Stefanie album, she probably earn enough to last her for the 10 lifetimes.

I wanna go Beijing for the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, Tian'sanmen Square etc..being the city of China, it as the most historical sites, yet has become much cosmopolitian these days. Imagine being on the same ground as the past emperor. lol. Wanna go the colonial Shanghai for the shopping, their night scene, the neon lights, the amazing night skyline,and the arty-deco architecture, heard they have the richest ppl there...hmm perhaps i might snab one? lolx10 Shanxi for the Terracotta Warriors, Hangzhou for the beautiful lakes and landscapes, sames goes with Suzhou, ...whaaa u get the drift. As stated in Lonely Planet, China isnt a country - its a different world.

Geri i'll pass u Lan Yu later!


::Smokers wld love it there::
Factoid
China is one of the world's last great smoking reserves, with smoking permitted everywhere except airports and railway stations. China makes up 20% of the world's population, but smokes 30% of the world's cigarettes.

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Happened to chance upon xiaxue's blog earlier when my sister was reading it, i've become somewat a devot reader for the straits times.lol. i'll try to read it on a daily basis unless im super tired or im out of town (which is also not very often la) moreover it helps in my course.
Anyway i believe everyone knows abt the fuss over xiaxue and the using of handicapped toliet, initially i kidda pity how she got bombarded with criticism, heard two endorsment were pulled out from her blog as well. But if they decide to endrose on a blogger, they shld expect freespeech and freedom of expression from their spokesman. i dont know whether there's any hidden terms and conditions between them, this is how i feel. I thot the handicappd toliet issue is just a small issue blown big, with some miscommunications involved.

I thought she probably know whats she's doing, being a public figure for sometime, i reckon she might have gain some maturity, but after reading her post today...im thinking otherwise.

http://www.xiaxue.blogspot.com/

its abt the after-halloween entry where she got into a cab and got cheated. Apparently miss xiaxue got into a cab from zouk and her destination is river valley, the cabbie uncle was probably pissed and took her on a long way. lol. i dont know i felt guilty cuz i used to do that, but after a chat with a nice cabbie the other time i realized its in fact quite nasty for us to do that, these cabbies usually waited up to an hour outside zouk to get a passenger and when his passenger wanted to go river valley, causing his meter to jump atmost 30cents, it can be quite fustrating, it wld be too late to go back to the Q again, which can stretch to MS.

I dont know whether u agree with me, its not abt freespeech, it's really about how one thinks and feels, i find her utterly childish from the words she used, shes 21? but she blogs like my 14 yr old sister. i dont think her writing style changed or matured from the first entry she got. i finally understand whats the big fuss abt on her and the handicapped toliet. haha.

so this will be my first and last post abt her. my only comment on her...childish.

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im currently only living for one main goal.

to save enough for my next escapism.

japan

shanghai

italy

sometimes i got really scared, i can be on the train home or to work...and it striked me...is this what im gonna do for the next 5, 10, 20 years?

this fear or dread been appearing much more frequent these days.

remember the days i used to swear in front of my friends i will never hold a nine to five job, i'll never rush for the morning train, i'll never sit in front of the stonic pc the whole day, i'll never dress formal for work, i'll never have to fight for sales, i'll never overtime till late at night, only to go home, shower, sleep, and repeat it the next day.

but i've been doing all these for the past 1 year.

is this my life?

are you living the life u want?

is there one?

how do you do it?

ruiyi and yvonne arent complaining abt theirs, why am i so unsatisfied

im not afraid of growning up, or facing life, i can probably imagine ur face now, looking irritatingly at me, so wat u want.its like that wat.grow up and get real la.


thats why i wanna escape.

if growing up means succumbing to this kidda 'reality'.i rather not.

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