how emo can a person be in a day?

i think i've reached the max today

i've just typed a really emo entry for someone but the most detesting popup had to appear and destroy everything!!!!!!

Isnt it enough? Im feeling so sick i can puke anytime, my stomach hurts so much i thought an alien baby is gonna emerge, and my head spins so badly whenever i try to stand up. The neighbourhood doctor didnt help much, it was like superman going into the phonebooth to change his suit, im out of the doctor room that fast. I half crawled to the POSB bank after that and found myself behind a 10 person Q. Fortunately the auntie was nice enough to inform me when my turn is up so i can find a place to sit at the time being, otherwise i swear i might just pass out while standing in the Q.

where is my health?

in fact where is everything?

And being constantly remind of being single by my colleagues makes me wanna sympathize myself hahah. im alright at being make fun of or tease...i seriously dont mind being a single working female at 22, but after all these 'reminders' , esp when you're at my present state now helps to stimulate your emo hormones

im not complaining because complaining is like expressing resentment. I dont resent anything here because ive learnt to accept, i am just freaking sad here la

pardon me for being emo today but i just cant help it. i realized i had been mourning for 'things' i've lost for the past 1 year..and the mourning got worst lately.

Thats why i have to say this to you because i think i've mourned the most on losing you.

To you:

As much as i hate to admit it, i think im losing you slowly for the past year. I always thought we've got a 'thing' together, after all these years, after all the laughters and tears, after all the shit we've seen each other through, i thought so man..but im super wrong. Unlike the past, this time the losing feeling i felt is for real. Its like the bond we used to share is being replace by others in your life now. Initially i choose to ignore it, because confronting it means accepting the fact that we are really drifting apart, by not mentioning anything in front of each other, we might just slip through the awkward and sensitive issue.

I dont blame anyone of us for what has happened. Hah! you must think im pushing responsibility, but if you really think carefully about it, this somewat comes naturally, like it's gonna happen one day whether we want it or not. We lead different life now, we have different lifestyle, piorities, social circle, i bet our fashion choices differs now lol, so no worries on getting the same top. Really it's not anyone fault.

But on my part i just wish to explain myself...or perhaps defend myself a little by letting you know im dont intentionally pull myself away from you. I know you always wanted me to part of your life, wanting me to join in your activities and share your fun as well. Im so sorry im such a cold blanket everytime you happily sent me an sms with an invitation. im really sorry.

The truth is, i feel so out of place withnin you social circle most of the times, i feel embrassed or even ashamed of myself. Maybe im thinking too much but its not hard to notice i dont really fit into the circle, i wish i can just bluff my way through by staying smiley friendly and plasticly but acting like someone im not will just make me feel even more uncomfortable. I rather settle with a one to one session with you instead, i couldnt have enjoy more.

I wish there is a way i can explain this feeling to you. I admit im even envious of the high life you're living, something i cant have due to the other responsibilities like work and sch in my life. So i started doing this very stupid thing, which is by denying myself of all these, i wont know what i've lost. fuck this is so pathedic. hahahaha

i just want you to know there's no one thats replacing the bond i used to have with you. As you know me miss pam the antisocial..how happening can i get? how high is the possibilty for me to know someone i can get so close to again. Im still me, just having a different lifestyle and trying to deny myself of that i've missed in life but didnt know i've end up losing more.

I know i've not completely lost you yet, but im not gonna say plastic stuffs like i promise we stay like this together forever, or as long as im still living you will always be my best....stuffs with forever and promises. Because all these will just lead to greater disappointments if not fulfilled. i bet you had alot of disappointements already...lets just take things a step at a time...

but

i do love u.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Woaaa i've survived the week. Nope i didnt quit sch, and i certainly didnt kill myself.

Assignments submitted and graded. I did pretty okay i guess...........

No wait

This is my blog ay.

I did great. I am shamelessly telling you guys ive got 88 and grade A for both assignments. wha ah ah aha!

well...now all the bet is on the exams, which will be held on 6 Feb and 7 Feb. how great. my cny holidays is burn.

BBQ on sunday was really 'chilled'. yeah cuz im stuffing food into my mouth most of the time instead of cooking them in front of the pit.

thanks girls!!!!

thanks kejin for the glam presents u choosen

thanks yanli and kevin for being the main chef that day

thanks ruiyi, ray and the adorable ah kao for chasing away the cats

thanks yuyi just being there and happy birthday to you. *hugs* we'll continue from where we left next week ay.

thank god for scaring us with the rain and i bet its funny seeing how we came up with a evacuation plan. ha ha.

anyway i'll post up the pics asap guys.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Its 4.13am on a tuesday morning. I'm mugging for my project but as always my very-short-and-limited attention span gets the best out of me, so here i am blogging
on whatever or the whoever that comes to my mind right now

::the most random::

- hw wld the child of the two sexiest human being looks like? angelina jolie + brad pitt

- news on the how condensed milk used in teh tarik causes stroke can never deter my love for it

- i wonder what is rain doing now. (http://www.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=bc&uid=20922637) under geri friend's list

- what's 'hastumomo' weight? (http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/gongli) gongli's blog

- when will ang lee's brokeback mountain be screen in singapore?

- why is the love between two men such a taboo issue in singapore?

- is the guy in the current mac fantastic burger ad someone i know? or i've seen? the dancer at the back looks like woonchi....

- i wonder the fur used in project runways are from animals. i hate furs used in any kind of production. i will rather be stoned to death then to be seen wearing real fur

- will everyone quit saying i have high expectations for my other half, the 'msner' i msn to an hr ago keep accusing me on that? hmm i know he's sweet but i mean...forget it...i dont wanna start explaining all over again.

- how am i ever gonna finish my damn project!

- shld i sleep now or what?

- shld i quit sch or what?

- shld i kill myself or what?

hahahhaha

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

I'm gonna be in deep trouble.

I've got two assignments due on wed and thur but i dont have a single clue how to start.

Question: To what extent has the media in Singapore contributed towards an understanding of current global issues ::wtf::

Anyone have any idea how i can write up to 1,5000 words for the above topic?


Happy Birthday to My Girls

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

I feel so drained after watching Memoirs of the Geisha, im was adsorbing all the single details thats on screen, the whole movie is very 'rich', the set, the geisha district, the kimonos, the makeup, the cherry blossom...and the acting. Little chiyo is such a delight to watch, quite disappointed with Ken Wanatabe limited cameo but he's just as charming..awwww...and my fav character or actress in the movie. Gong Li. I think she can easily be the most grogeous chinese , miss ziyi is not even near that although i must give credit she did a good job too..aww the gray contacts must have hurt.

Go watch the movie! At least go watch Gong Li.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

I'm boarding Milo for 4 days during CYN! Boohooo....this will be first time he's away frm us for such a long time, the last time he's been away frm home was his sterilization when he was 1...and hes away for less than 24hrs in the clinic.lol.

We're boarding him at Mutts and Mittens, reason why i choose to board him there is because of their bright and well ventilated kennels, i cant stand those cramped and dimly lit kennels, it's just so depressing. Their in-charge Cohen is a really nice guy, an experienced dog trainer, unlike other dog farms, Mutts and Mittens is an animal shelter which does rehoming for dogs like Milo, mutts who roam the streets. No sales of puppies there.

I know im gonna offend some folks by saying this, but im quite against sales of puppies in dog farms. I have always believe that in order to produce puppies in mass and have them supply to these farms, there's no way they go around collecting puppies from families and homes, so where do you think they get the puppies from?

Puppies Mills
I really urge folks who are considering getting a puppy from your nearest petshop or farm, just key in puppies mills in your yahoo and read the generated results, of course this is this my personal opinion, unless you have a really good and detailed explaination that puppies are sold by owner whose adult dog has given birth to too many, and not those owners of puppy mills, who has a factory of caged up adult dogs whose sole purpose in their very short life is to breed.

Sadly, my opinion are not shared by many, im not accusing you of not being an animal lover because you bought your puppy from farms and petshops, there's this misconception that you're not doing anything wrong as you're giving the puppy a good life, but what about the mother? the female dog? bottom line is you've contributed and supported puppy mills. Puppy mill is a huge business, i dont think it can ever be stopped, but im wish to just do my part by encouraging you guys to adopt rather than buy.

A very good article
http://www.pets.com.sg/forums/archive/index.php/t-6394

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Why is the world so unhelpful!? I've seen colleagues who look horrified, yes horrified! if i were to simply ask "Are u free?"

i'm just so sick sick sick of everything.

Everyone can you just please step out of your own little world and take a look at yourself. You're not any special, you are not as smart, as privilege, as rich, as goodlooking, as fucking high as you think you are.

If you want to be treated the way you deserve, then pls kindly treat others the same way too. This should be the first thing they teach in school, and 'offenders' should have it tattooed across their back.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

what will become of me in 2006?

i wish its not just mere difference in digit

Comment! (0) | Recommend!