Woke up at 7am just in time for the 8am class heh! Today was the first time im attending the lesson since school reopens 3 three weeks go *bleahz*

Anyway took the effort to dress up for work this evening, thought we're going zouking later the nite, only to find myself dragging my very blistered feet (i know im crazy to wear heels to work) home...

Today at work, i noticed this couple, clad in their school uniform, one of the neighbourhood sch i guess.The guy is really cute...boyish kidda look while his gf wears specs, the plain jane kind..im not trying to be mean but thats the truth.To think back i think i look worse than her during my sec sch days.lol.
Well...seeing them suddenly makes me think back..What am i doing during that time myself? hahaha

Pam during sec sch days:
::Wear this moss green skirt as uniform, hates every thread of that stupid skirt, it makes my hips look so wideeee::Spotting a china doll hair with straight frindge! hahaha shit didnt someone tells me that frindge supposely make any face looks rounder!::Was having this major..i emphasis..MAJOR crush on this guy name william yen,about william yen, he's so cute back then, he's the only reason i drag myself up everymorning for sch, but that was back then, he's been spotted recently by my bestfriend,according to the witness, he had deteriorate from the sch hunk..to someone who..you wouldn't even glimsp at on the street, again im not trying to be mean..it's the truth::Was into Moffatts during that time, this is something that me and my friends desprately wanna keep numb abt..we will never wanna be caught dead as a ex-moffatts fan::Going World Trade Centre(the present Habour Front) for mac everytime after sch!::Guys watching in town::Skipping choir practice::Stalking boybands or boybands lookalike guys *crawl into a hole*::Sneaking into pubs::Trying..admit it la girls...to be popular hahaha::Eating ham and cheese bread for every recess cuz we're lazy to Q for other stalls::Being in love with this guy name frank.but he's history.so history i forgot his surname i think::Taking neo-print, the money is enough for me to club non-stop for months::Ircing with nicks like sodaboi,surfyeki(the now clement)blade::Clubbing at lox using fake IDs::Ice-chcocolate in olio dome::Spending my whole week's allowance on roxy dresses::

Sec sch was really fun back then, other than the insecurities, and trying to fit in, everything seems so nice, unfucked-up lol...though we're not popular or anything high profile im glad i met them, cuz i cant image being with girls like Rebecca, meijun, liang yue(frog face),evelyn(the bitchy one),or i hope shes not reading this, huiting.hahaha just.....we're one step behind when it comes to romance back then...think everyone in the grp was bf-less durin that time hahahahaha (javier always spite me by saying"when im dating stc girls you're still drinking milk ah") which makes me think...ahhh thats something i regret abt...to be clad in my school uniform, holding the hands of erm some boyish lookin guy like the one i saw today,and just indulging myself in puppy love awww but nvm....cant turn back time.Anyway look whats happening now! kj for example is painting the town red.Nerds hit back. lol

eh javier...so what if u start early!? lol!!!

Watching:Mean Girls

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Meet up with the girls on wednesday nite.
Yanli went to sandy's to do her hair (introducing a new character: Sandy, who used to be my hairstylist, but being the best of friends we are, we now share the same stylist.I shld start askin for commission from her though)
I must say sandy did a great job, yanli looks superb with the new hair it even brings new romance *wink* hor yanli? lol
Had a nice time meeting up the girls...though it's quite short and the music is too loud to really have any great covnersation...our's mainly consist of 'har?' , 'cant hear u', 'wat??' but we made it up by taking lotsa and losta pics.
The place turn disco with our constant flash lights.

Went supper with yanli and yvonne later the night, was real funny when we found out the 'guys' ard us have a 'common ground'

Me: Yvonne's wats ur bf chinese name?
Yvonne: Jia Jun
Me: How abt your fren yanli?
Yanli: Jun Li
Me: ....
Me:Mine is Jun Jie
All: Wha?!

Abt weird fetish.
These are few weird festish/lifestyle habits we will not acommadate from our bfs next time:
-Waking up in the middle of the night to wash his hair
-Waking up in the middle of the night to cut his nails
-Waking up in the middle of the night to feed his pet fish
-Being a clean freak, santisizing all his utensils
-Constanly farting
-making you tell him he's very goodlooking or strong at whichever part of his body

to be continued....
::Pics from indochine::

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Dead tired...i fell alseep on my bed while taking off my jeans just now, but jolted up when i realized i still have my make-up on and tons of things lining up for me.

Loss of words all of a sudden.I wanna write something happy today but cant think of any.I'll go take a breather.Maybe then i can write something nice...

update later

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Im feeling really edgy today.
Why am i feeling this way?
These are the few reasons i can think of:
-Being taken advantage by this stupid underaged wannabe.Loser with a capital L.
-Indulging on unhealthy food
-Sleepless nights (im the only one to blame for this)
-Getting ticked off by my project mate
-Telling off this troubled fren of ruiyi's,nearly caught in a bizzare 'love' triangle
-Realizing i only got 50 bucks to last me till the rest of the month
-Going town and cant try on anything.i think window shopping is cruel
-Have been saying fuck you more than i love you
-Said i love you to someone and don't fully mean it

I really dreaded this kind of feeling.Having to say i love you to someone when you're still unsure of your feelings.(surprisingly alot of ppl can do that)I rather not say it at all.So what if one's say it? It doesn't mean anything at all if u dun feel it.I dun.

Why....why cant two person say i love you to each other and really meant it at the same time? why cant it just didnt happen to me? Why do i always have to be the one who said it first and got back mine much later? Why cant anyone just simply love me, not because im nice, not because i can be easily taken advantage of, not because im willing to sign a phone line for you, not because my friends told you im nice,not because im willing to pay during our dates, not because your mum likes me,not because im a low mantaince gf,not because you cant get over your ex-gf, not because you cant decide which girl to choose yet,not because you wanna freakin bed me. wtf i sound so padethic.Lol...
But thats just for today,so guys if you're reading this don't worry abt me : )

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Went Clubbing with kj and ivan last night at cheeky monkeys (even the name is sleazy).Its a last min thing and i don't really look forward to it (the crowd) but due to the Yong Tau Foo i eat earlier during dinner that day i feel like excersing aka dancing.Turns out the crowd is not that bad and i saw my poly crush there haha! and the best thing is he's the one who spotted me first *faints*
KJ did a summary of the two clubs in her blog.hahaha yeah i totally agree with her
the clubbers in cheeky monkeys are much better dancer then those in zouk...but zouk remains my fav.

::No Cabbing::Less Clubbing::
Have been working the past 3 days...but the big question mark is Why am i always broke? Seriously im the most hardworking among my click (right guys?) hahahahaha
but im also the poorest! damnit.I guess i've been cabbing too much.One down point of living in the central is you have the tendency of taking cab cuz you thot everywhere is so near.

::Someone positive::
Was really nice working with Yanli today.She's like the most unfucked-up person among our group.lol.which is excatly what i need these days...but i hope i won't pollute her...i used to be nice..real nice..not the person i am today.Yanli remain unchanged...at least to me..still so cheerful and positive..and no trace of angst in her at all.

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My grandmother from KL is in town! She's my fav grandma, erm i've only got two, my ah ma passed away last may.Sorry ah ma you're my fav too.
Anyway haven been going out much this week.I thought by staying at home im doing my part of keeping her company...but this is where my guilt sets in.These are the stuffs i do when im home.
1.Laze ard on my bed
2.Pop out of the bed for the ocassional bladder release and eating urge
3.In front of my com
4.In front of my com
5.In front of my com
6.You get the idea

Yeah i think i've disappoint her big-time as a loafer granddaughter...think she came at the wrong time..i'm going thru this phase where i couldn't give a half-fuck about anything.

Alrite im gonna be a better granddaughter tml.I can start by sleeping early now.
::time 2.36am::

-OFF-

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Haven been updating my blog for the past 3 days...basically i've been busy downloading and installing programs for my new com. I gotta thank javier and his friends for helping me get the parts and assembling my new pc...im impressed.Who says all the IT-freaks are geeks? These guys are cool funny and effortlessly know which 6 pin cable goes with which.Most importantly im impressed with soon's room.Dear god i'll give anything to have that killer room...even my ever-so-soft-and-comfy bed.

I dunnoe im really lazy at updating my blog with my daily happenings..i'll rather go into this particular subject instead.Saw my bestfriend's blog.I know im more fortunate in some ways compared to her.Even though i gotta share my room, clothes,computer, and the same toliet with my 2 sisters..at times when they mess up my com, leave sanitary pad ard and find the collar of my new top enlarged i wanna mince the both of them but...if you were to take them away from me now, i'll perhaps go with them.My bestfriend has alot of ppl doting and loving her but she has a broken family...I on the other hand is always green-eye by the attention she get from everyone ard her and didn't realize in fact i got the most important thing in the world..my family.Life is all abt plus and minus..u have this..u dun have that.

Treasure what u have now.You've still got ur friends, ur 'family' and ur mum.Some things are just out of our control..we cant make things turn out the way we want? but the least you can do now is cherish what you have in front of you now.
Ironically this is what 'he' said to me earlier.(i swear its not my ear playing tricks on me)

We're already 20...if we still don't know whats' important in our life by now...(like what javier always like to say) Ni bu hui qiu Si.hahaha

I love visiting my friends, esp today i pop by just in time to be greeted by mouth-watering freshly baked cookies. Thanks to KJ's aunt! I just realized whenever me and kj have our girlie talk we are also gaining pounds at the same time.....

lastly..when will anti-profane ask me out!?

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[Intro]
I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

[Verse 1]
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back

Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

[Breakdown]
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

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