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I cant talk
Sunday. 2.26.06 4:01 am
I'm suffering from a bad case of ulcer. It is so bad even the swallowing of saliva causes pain. ouch. Eating become a torture for me now.

Went for Haley's birthday bbq at East Coast yesterday. Woa, i didnt know East Coast is so happening. The last time i was there i was still 1.5cm i think. :: i'm 1.67 now::
Anyway i suprised myself by finishing a plate of beehoon 3 fishballs and a bbq wing, really slowly..i...mean...real...slow...ly.

This is a dense entry lol. I'll write something worth reading next time.

I wanna watch Capote. Read Truman Capote biography earlier, i know why its been brought to the big screen. He had a life story that was tailor made for the movies.

Some visuals from the week
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My simple saturday
Sunday. 2.19.06 9:24 am
Yvonne and i had an almost successful movie marathon on saturday.

Been planning to spend a day indulging ourselves in front of the big screen, enjoy a romantic interlude with different leading men. lol. We're targeting on 3 movies but managed to catch 2.

Our-Almost-Successful-Movie-Marathon

::2.00pm::
Met up at borders for a browse

::3.00pm::
Lunch at Dome

::3.50pm::
Caught Brokeback Mountain. Yes lol, im watching it for the second time

::6.00pm::
Met up with ruiyi and ray for dinner, and when u put 3 girls together there bound to be a lil shopping here and there *grins*

::9.00pm::
Dwn to Great World. Ben and Jerry's ice cream!!!

::10.00pm::
Zoolander. U think pink panther is funny? Zoolander is 3 times funnier. Ben Stiller over Jim Carrey ANYTIME.


Went MOS with Kj and friends on fri night. It was unexpectedly fun! The crowd is good and the company was great! Thanks to kj *hugs* i had a greaat time. i foresee more clubbing session to come...
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Let me introduce the one ice-cream that can make me smile::

Mr Berry Berry Extraordinary:
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A post on 14 Feb
Tuesday. 2.14.06 9:57 am
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Brokeback
Sunday. 2.12.06 5:03 am
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"God, I wish I knew how to quit you" --- Jack Twist





i like jack twist character. It could be like this, just like this always if they come up with more such movies to feed the souls.

::updated::
The story

Brokeback Mountain
by ANNIE PROULX
http://www.outspokenclothing.com/brokeback.html

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To mourn for someone
Wednesday. 2.8.06 11:27 am
how emo can a person be in a day?

i think i've reached the max today

i've just typed a really emo entry for someone but the most detesting popup had to appear and destroy everything!!!!!!

Isnt it enough? Im feeling so sick i can puke anytime, my stomach hurts so much i thought an alien baby is gonna emerge, and my head spins so badly whenever i try to stand up. The neighbourhood doctor didnt help much, it was like superman going into the phonebooth to change his suit, im out of the doctor room that fast. I half crawled to the POSB bank after that and found myself behind a 10 person Q. Fortunately the auntie was nice enough to inform me when my turn is up so i can find a place to sit at the time being, otherwise i swear i might just pass out while standing in the Q.

where is my health?

in fact where is everything?

And being constantly remind of being single by my colleagues makes me wanna sympathize myself hahah. im alright at being make fun of or tease...i seriously dont mind being a single working female at 22, but after all these 'reminders' , esp when you're at my present state now helps to stimulate your emo hormones

im not complaining because complaining is like expressing resentment. I dont resent anything here because ive learnt to accept, i am just freaking sad here la

pardon me for being emo today but i just cant help it. i realized i had been mourning for 'things' i've lost for the past 1 year..and the mourning got worst lately.

Thats why i have to say this to you because i think i've mourned the most on losing you.

To you:

As much as i hate to admit it, i think im losing you slowly for the past year. I always thought we've got a 'thing' together, after all these years, after all the laughters and tears, after all the shit we've seen each other through, i thought so man..but im super wrong. Unlike the past, this time the losing feeling i felt is for real. Its like the bond we used to share is being replace by others in your life now. Initially i choose to ignore it, because confronting it means accepting the fact that we are really drifting apart, by not mentioning anything in front of each other, we might just slip through the awkward and sensitive issue.

I dont blame anyone of us for what has happened. Hah! you must think im pushing responsibility, but if you really think carefully about it, this somewat comes naturally, like it's gonna happen one day whether we want it or not. We lead different life now, we have different lifestyle, piorities, social circle, i bet our fashion choices differs now lol, so no worries on getting the same top. Really it's not anyone fault.

But on my part i just wish to explain myself...or perhaps defend myself a little by letting you know im dont intentionally pull myself away from you. I know you always wanted me to part of your life, wanting me to join in your activities and share your fun as well. Im so sorry im such a cold blanket everytime you happily sent me an sms with an invitation. im really sorry.

The truth is, i feel so out of place withnin you social circle most of the times, i feel embrassed or even ashamed of myself. Maybe im thinking too much but its not hard to notice i dont really fit into the circle, i wish i can just bluff my way through by staying smiley friendly and plasticly but acting like someone im not will just make me feel even more uncomfortable. I rather settle with a one to one session with you instead, i couldnt have enjoy more.

I wish there is a way i can explain this feeling to you. I admit im even envious of the high life you're living, something i cant have due to the other responsibilities like work and sch in my life. So i started doing this very stupid thing, which is by denying myself of all these, i wont know what i've lost. fuck this is so pathedic. hahahaha

i just want you to know there's no one thats replacing the bond i used to have with you. As you know me miss pam the antisocial..how happening can i get? how high is the possibilty for me to know someone i can get so close to again. Im still me, just having a different lifestyle and trying to deny myself of that i've missed in life but didnt know i've end up losing more.

I know i've not completely lost you yet, but im not gonna say plastic stuffs like i promise we stay like this together forever, or as long as im still living you will always be my best....stuffs with forever and promises. Because all these will just lead to greater disappointments if not fulfilled. i bet you had alot of disappointements already...lets just take things a step at a time...

but

i do love u.


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Playback
Wednesday. 1.25.06 11:00 pm
Woaaa i've survived the week. Nope i didnt quit sch, and i certainly didnt kill myself.

Assignments submitted and graded. I did pretty okay i guess...........

No wait

This is my blog ay.

I did great. I am shamelessly telling you guys ive got 88 and grade A for both assignments. wha ah ah aha!

well...now all the bet is on the exams, which will be held on 6 Feb and 7 Feb. how great. my cny holidays is burn.

BBQ on sunday was really 'chilled'. yeah cuz im stuffing food into my mouth most of the time instead of cooking them in front of the pit.

thanks girls!!!!

thanks kejin for the glam presents u choosen

thanks yanli and kevin for being the main chef that day

thanks ruiyi, ray and the adorable ah kao for chasing away the cats

thanks yuyi just being there and happy birthday to you. *hugs* we'll continue from where we left next week ay.

thank god for scaring us with the rain and i bet its funny seeing how we came up with a evacuation plan. ha ha.

anyway i'll post up the pics asap guys.

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Randomize
Monday. 1.16.06 1:50 pm
Its 4.13am on a tuesday morning. I'm mugging for my project but as always my very-short-and-limited attention span gets the best out of me, so here i am blogging
on whatever or the whoever that comes to my mind right now

::the most random::

- hw wld the child of the two sexiest human being looks like? angelina jolie + brad pitt

- news on the how condensed milk used in teh tarik causes stroke can never deter my love for it

- i wonder what is rain doing now. (http://www.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=bc&uid=20922637) under geri friend's list

- what's 'hastumomo' weight? (http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/gongli) gongli's blog

- when will ang lee's brokeback mountain be screen in singapore?

- why is the love between two men such a taboo issue in singapore?

- is the guy in the current mac fantastic burger ad someone i know? or i've seen? the dancer at the back looks like woonchi....

- i wonder the fur used in project runways are from animals. i hate furs used in any kind of production. i will rather be stoned to death then to be seen wearing real fur

- will everyone quit saying i have high expectations for my other half, the 'msner' i msn to an hr ago keep accusing me on that? hmm i know he's sweet but i mean...forget it...i dont wanna start explaining all over again.

- how am i ever gonna finish my damn project!

- shld i sleep now or what?

- shld i quit sch or what?

- shld i kill myself or what?

hahahhaha



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oh shit
Sunday. 1.15.06 2:41 am
I'm gonna be in deep trouble.

I've got two assignments due on wed and thur but i dont have a single clue how to start.

Question: To what extent has the media in Singapore contributed towards an understanding of current global issues ::wtf::

Anyone have any idea how i can write up to 1,5000 words for the above topic?


Happy Birthday to My Girls

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