I dreamt about wx the other day
Its been sometime i've ever like someone enough to think about him, nevertheless dream about him.
i can only conclude my so call love life is a total vacum space.but im not complaining.
okay back to wx, he's my answer to the ideal guy.lol others might find it otherwise though::right kj::hes a well-groomed version of the average joe who has alot more to offer? im never into those who takes the centre stage, i look behind, at the wallflowers.lol.or maybe thats what i wish others will do too.
Its not that i never give chase, i practically had "I DIG YOU" tattoed across my forehead.haha but well......im not a really lucky person when it comes to love...cupid always have a shortage of arrows when he comes to me.but again im not complaining.haha no point.im think im better with my "secret admirer"
status and crushes then the real action.

anyway pam ah pam...ur paper is on fri and u can jolly well think abt ur glory love life.lol

okay back to the books.

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okay i'll make this really quick
i just wanna apologize for my missing act lol.sorry guys (esp to kj)

Im fasting too,from msn apparently.msn is a major distraction.it just kills all my mood for studying.i'll still be reading the blogs though, to keep myself updated.
::you will be surprised how much things can happen withnin 24 hrs::

anyway sorry again for my selfish act lol..i gotta admit it's kidda self-centered.

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Have you ever being haunted by your past?

Just like any other day, you're running late and rushing out of the house,the stupid phone rings,expecting it must be one of ur screaming frens who wants to know ur excate location,u pick up the phone while mentally goin thru all the valid reasons for being late, only to be greeted by it yes..And suddenly u just went blank for a few secs.(i swear it happened) then everything start to come back in flashes right before your eyes.

if nightmare can comes in another form other than thru ur sleep...this must be a living nightmare.

i have a tendency to shut myself out whenever things gotta do with my past happens.i guess im too ashamed of it and i keep thinking everyone knows.

so then i was given 2 choices.
1. stay at home and feel sorry for myself
2. go out, then come home feel sorry for myself

so in the same manner as i solve my maths problems..i figured..
stay at home + feel sorry = end up feeling awlful the whole evening and night
go out + feel sorry = end up feeling awlful only very late at night

i choose number 2.surprisinly i dun really awlful,too tired after the bowling session.

and even though taurus was telling me about her wedding plans and her current blissful love life...i dun feel like im being less fortunate or start feeling sorry for myself cuz i know things doesnt come easy for her too.unlike others who rub their happiness into ur skin..i can see she's truly happy, and just wish to share it with me.yes i can tell the difference between sharing and rubbing it in dimwits.

i figured no one or no fairy godmother is gonna fly over my weeping body to save my day.im still down to myself.and maybe its because of something i read today

Being happy is a choice.And you can make that choice everyday if you want to." ::by this hollywood actress whos name im shall not reveal cuz she's kidda bimbo to me and naming her might affect yer way of looking at those lines lol::

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geri's blog kick ass man.wha lau mines like cow dung.firstly, im bad with my photoshop,and secondly i dun have a digi to get jiggy with.hps produce lousy pics.see those pic taken in geris blog! whats wat i want *meow!*
lastly im simply too lazy hah
haha okay la..for all my fans, for your sake! i'm gonna revamp this fansite for better viewing pleasure. hahahaha super BHB.but thats gonna be in awhile.
cuz i've got more important things like...

MY FINAL YEAR EXAMINATION!

hmmmm...in the meantime who can be my photoshop shi fu other than geri?
and anyone willing to donate you digi for a really meaningful purpose?



ps: seriously i dun know whats the big deal man

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wanna know how a lazy person blog?

* read geri's blog.totally agree.toally.go read.

* ppl are telling my sis she resembles olinda from sg idol LOL

* after sat's dinner i kidda miss taurus, dunnoe why we stopped going out

* my exams are coming.again.but i've already plan my days after graduation.ask kj.

* im going nuts.keep watching daniel wu mtv non-stop.smiling along too

* i stop hating my hair for the past two days

* i wanna watch the motorcycles diaries.looking for similar taste movie khakis

* hmmm hmmm..nothing thats abt it

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Acknowledgement

I would like to show my greatest gratitude towards everyone....well..not really everyone..those suckers out there i still hate u as much.(note:im quite anti on alot of ppl.

thanks kejin,,for everything i really mean everything...its like every sec i've got something i need to thank u for poppin into my head.
thanks to my two sisters, for letting me use the com condition-free, in the past i
gotta walk the dog for one week just to use my com for a day.oh yea and thanks for those fulgy jokes..jokes that makes my face really ugly from the laughing.
thanks emily for being nicer than me for the first time in this past 3 years.
thanks manfred for loaning me ur laptop, although your toshiba is as thick as a brick and it runs on a pentium 2 and uses a 2 pin plug (we're running ard school to find a socket)im so embrassed carrying it hahaha but still...thanks boy
thanks joanne for helping me with the ppt and mmsp project.she single handedly completed the project.thanks girl
thanks to Class 09 *wink*
thanks to mr naggy randy kang for letting me off work
thanks to soon for helping me with the coverpage although hes in the mist of helping his gf
thanks to geri for borrowing me the top for my interview, it's so nice and i like it to much i wore it around school just to show off lol
thanks to all those peeps on msn who showed concern abt me thanks nik and agnes
thanks to my mum, for being really tolerant of me
thanks to my dog milo, he suffered days without walks and got screamed at whenever we catch him pooing.poor boy
and lastly thanks to daniel wu, for filling up my dreams not only during the nights but the day too::im so physco:: hahahahahahhahaha

actually its kidda early for this acknowledgement cuz i still gotta run my last lap,Final Semestral Exam which is in two weeks time.but well i figured i'll be so busy i wont have time for this again.so yah.anyway u cant thank a person enough ay


Special note to nijek:

I know you're going through a really tough period, and i figured telling you you're not that worst off compared to others is gonna make things worst.i'll just say...remember pam's rule? everything that goes up and reaches it peak will go down, vice versa, everything that hits the bottom will go up eventually.a unhappy man is not unahppy because he's ill-fated, its just he have not find ways to make himself happy.dont worry things will definately be better,okay lets not take the shortcut and wait for the day things will be better and gold will fall from the sky, IF! things are still the same,we still have our hands.we can make things better ourselves you can change,you can adapt and continue cursing life all at the same life

::eh don't throw bananas skins at me for saying this okay::
i also believe superbly ultra happy things don't last.they* are just polishing their guns and loading their bullets during this period.

they : problems



i can only conlude one thing: my photoshop skills sucks

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i hate reports.
reports are equivalent to modern day sleeping pills and is totally suicidal
it should be listed as a way of suicide

2 reports + 2 presentations + 1 class assignment + 1 lab test = ?

i know this is really awlful of me, but i hope the school has a system breadown, invasion of roaches and all the chairs and tables are eaten up,the best is all lecturers needs urgent leave at the same time::im so evil::

i finally got to be a director! hahaha!
did a mini project for one of my modules where we gotta shot a video and edit it
*yooooohooooooooooooooooo*
i love handling the camera...i know its cheesy to say this, just like some people who sense a instant familarity with a place they never been to before, i feel that the camera belong in my hands. ahahahaha geez...

okay pam...enough
stop dremaing of being a director
back to work
and more reports.



Take 1 : My life

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If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

im having a mental blockout.
i stared at my blog for the longest time and i dunnoe wat to write without sounding like shit.

have u ever felt this way?
i feel like an 'outsider'going through life on cruise control, feeling nothing.
Ive seen everyone made a pass and go, it doest matter whether you've fall,screw and got fucked both ways, it doesnt matter you know..you're moving ahead and getting your turn on the dice,while im freaking losing my turns or stuck in jail.i haven even built my fucking hotel::think monopoly::

why am i complaining?
i've got good frens a great family and a pentium 4 pc subscribed with monthly broadband internet access so why am i making this stupid post, again it doesnt matter, everyone in this world is single-serving.i have my fair share at times too.

many times u don't have to give an explanation to ur sudden emo outburst, why you don't feel like talking,or whether you end up sounding selfish at the end of this post::this is one of post which is not directed at anyone::

yes like everyone im afraid,that things won't work out the way i want for me.
but which is more scary?
You know what you want but things dont work out for you
or try....you don't know what you want to have anything to work out at all

thank god im blessed with the super power of self-recovery.i get pissed and a few hrs later im all dancing and jumping.in fact when im typing this im feeling much better.its this fast.read that..its super power.


I really dig the movie Fight Club .It has one of the best script i think.

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Tyler Durden : You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
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Narrator : When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer : - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?
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Tyler Durden : Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
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Tyler Durden : You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
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Narrator :I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.
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Marla Singer : A condom is the glass slipper for our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You "dance" all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.

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