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weak
Wednesday. 12.20.06 9:38 pm
hw great

1 more day to taiwan and but suffering from a throat infection

how marvelous

im still working eventhough i feel like dying whenever i speak

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mix and match
Monday. 12.18.06 11:40 am
sorry for the lack of update

too many things...so little time

gonna just post some jabalang pictures i took during the past weeks

::moving office next month, a last look at my desk for 2 yrs::
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::ktv with u guys finally! 8 Dec @ party world::
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::family brunch at Jade Palace on 10 Dec @ Forum::
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::BBQ at uncle place, after finding back our new auntie lately, everyone got busy with family gatherings::
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i miss sass, our collie lost at his place 8yrs ago, took me the longest time to get over it

::Fooling at the tv room with my cousins (w/o makeup) lol::
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not just ur ordinary breafast, freshly made by pop after knowing i got gastric upset
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why
Friday. 12.1.06 9:40 am
its the first time im alone in the office...not exactly there's this malay uncle sitting not far from me but he's from another department. ANYWAY im freaking bored and lonely here

yes lonely.

its friday night.

and

here

i

am

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10am - 10pm
Thursday. 11.30.06 12:38 pm
another busy week...

gonna sleep now

long day tml

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detachment
Monday. 11.27.06 12:24 pm
bought my sis a new pair of specs, cuz the dimwit lost her specs in the cab and is too afraid to let mum know YET cant find the money to buy another one
lol

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i always thought i can solve my own problem, cuz i dont think there is anyone i can rely on except myself...and maybe my family members if i let them to. I feel so much better today after the singing session with my sisters, i figured maybe im not as hurt as i thought i am haha..silly me...i shld be so lucky to have my family and what i have now than to indulge myself in self-pity. argh *punch myself* stupid pam!!!!!


Been flipping through my fav book Tuesday with Morrie, something i does religiously whenever i need some enlightment. It really good stuffs! lol just wanna share my fav parts, im a follower of the method mention below,i guess it really make alot of sense to me

“’detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it.’” - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

“’take any emotion -- love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions -- if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them -- you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘all right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’’” - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

“we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.” - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

“turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, ‘all right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.’” - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

“Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely -- but eventually be able to say, ‘all right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.’” - tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom

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family ties
Sunday. 11.26.06 8:35 am
i know it might sound like something out from a korean soap drama but my mum and her siblings got to meet their long lost sister today

My grandparents have 7 children, 3 boys and 4 girls, my mum being the youngest daughter. I guess times were bad during those olden days and with such a huge family on tow my grandparents had to gave away one of their daughters. She happen to be the 4th daughter and was just a baby when she had been given away.

I never heard much about this lost auntie, once while u hear things when you're young but yknow as a kid u never know true and whats not. Anyway its been more than 50 years, my grandparents had passed away, my mum is already 52 and have never seen this sister before.

to cut it short the eldest uncle got in touch with the lost auntie through some old kampung friends and arranged to meet this sunday.

its amazing...to actually meet someone, a stranger to us before today who look like our grandmother. just like what we say, family ties.

i believe no mothers will feel good giving away their children, so does my grandmother, we never know how she feels because we were never her, the guilt the pain probably followed her through her life. I feel we shouldnt judge her without being in her shoes at the point of time, thats why i never blamed her at all...

im glad my new aunt is doing fine, mum told me she wish to visit my grandmother's grave one of these days, time heals. I hope it does so to the others.

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Watched Happy Feet
Ironically i find the movie kidda sad. I swear baby mumble is the cutest character in animation so far.
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our girl has turn 22
Sunday. 11.19.06 12:45 pm
i'll let the pictures do the talking

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when u hang out too much with the 4 women at home
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its humilating but i gotta post this haha nvm milo doesnt read my blog. snap that when he was beside me while im changing

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try walking in my shoes
Wednesday. 11.15.06 10:39 am
i really hope i can go into hiding until im good enough to be back myself

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got a 2 digit pay raise

and a 3 digit debt to clear *BIG SIGH*

i promise the next entry will be less depressing

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