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Sheesh.
Tuesday. 5.22.07 4:12 pm
I swear, the more I stay here, the more I feel myself slipping back into a place I don't want to go.

I just kicked in my mom's door, because my little brother is being a fucking twat. Sometimes I just flat out hate him.

I was out shopping with the supermodel(aka my mother) yesterday, and I start thumbing through swimsuits. The queen of all that is anorexic/bulimic then goes on to start saying that I'm too fat for a swimsuit. WELL EXCUSE ME FOR FUCKING EATING, AND NOT THROWING IT THE FUCK UP.

My neighbor is complaining about my cat (that's not really mine, I've posted about this before... it's not mine, because I'm never there to take care of it, but yet, when it needs something, or causes trouble, it's mine. Go figure.) chasing the birds in her yard. He's a cat. A young cat, at that. He's going to chase birds. I don't know what the hell she expects him to do, sit around and have tea with him?

We could keep him in the house, but then King of all that is Whiney (aka my dad) would whine that zomg there's a cat in the house zomg blahblahblah WHINE!!!!

It shouldn't be that hard to move the birdfeeder so the cat can't jump to it. Fuck, I'll buy her a cat-proof bird feeder. I can't control what my cat does if I'm not there, and certainly not while he's outside.

I don't know why I keep saying he's "my" cat, given that when I want it to be my cat, I'm never there to take care of it, so there's no way it could be my cat.

Now she asks if there's somewhere I want to go or something I want to do.

I want to be the fuck away from here. FOREVER.

The more I stay here, the more I want to hurt myself. She volunteers me for things at times, because she said blahblahblah, so I should do it when she said I'd do it. Regardless of what the hell I'm doing for the day. When I say that I don't feel like doing it today, she bitches and bitches that she told so and so that I'd do it today. When I tell her that "I REALLY don't feel up to it today", SHE FUCKING ACCUSES ME OF WHINING!!!

She's trying to use the keys to get into my room... but I have both of them in here.

I try to be a good person, I try to do well by everyone, and whenever I'm home, it bites me in the ass. There's nothing I could do here that's good except for die.

Even then, people would bitch about it. They'd find a reason. It'd be my fault. It's ALWAYS my fault. No matter what. Someone could break into the house and kill me, it'd still be my fault. No matter what, it's my fault. I'm sure they can find a way to blame the shootings, Falwell's death, and any other "disaster" on me. (Falwell's death isn't really a disaster, but since they pretty much eat his shit as gold...)

She always tries to guilt me, she's "always been" " a loving mother", "supportive", other bullshit that's only halfway true. She only loves me if I've lost weight, and even then, that lasts for a day before she starts bitching that I'm fat. Sure, she's supportive financially, but other wise... no. She's always criticizing me, comparing what I do to other people... She's never really supportive.

But yet, I'm not allowed to get upset, lest I be moody. WHY THE HELL IS IT THAT I'M ALWAYS "MOODY"??? It can't be that someone's angered me, or they've just been plain awful, no, it's that I'm "moody".

I hate it here so much...

Of course, again, it's always my fault. They seem to think that they're not capable of upsetting me, always that it's someone else and that I'm "taking it out on them".

Such. Fucking. Bullshit.

They don't care, it's obvious, I wish they'd stop acting like they did.

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Something that annoys me to no end.
Sunday. 5.20.07 1:53 pm
Why is it, nowadays, that when you go to get a rebate on something, or buy an open-box product, you pay full price, but instead of getting cash back, you get a gift card to the place you bought it from?

That's the most ridiculous business practice ever. Sure, it guarantees that the customer will spend [original amount of purchase] at your store, but it's stupid.

I don't normally shop at Walgreens, so a gift card for 10 dollars doesn't do anything for me.

Everyone knows I despise Best Buy/The Great Evil, so if I were to buy an open box microwave, I just want the microwave, no gift card, nothing else, and I will leave.

I mean, if you tell me it's going to be one price, why give me a gift card? I don't want the gift card, I want the price marked.

Sure, they're probably betting on you never using the gift card. TGE's gift cards NEVER expire. Maybe they expect you to lose it, or by the time you use it, you've had it for so long the machines can't read it and they say that you can't use it, regardless of the fact you have your receipts and everything else.

The act of giving gift cards instead of charging the marked price should be illegal.
I mean, "free gift card with purchase of items" is fine, because you're not calling it a rebate.

I refuse to buy anything involved in such a promotion.

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A day in the ghetto.
Saturday. 5.19.07 11:47 pm
So I went to the flea market with my dad and brother today.

I got a C watch, from 1998, a pair of Century hand guards, and a pokemon tin! So awesome! I saw a Dianetics book on tape, some other random stuff. There were a lot of Mexicans. I went to 7-11 and got a strawberry steamer... it was ok, a bit too much strawberry flavor.

We're driving back, and I see a car with the license "DIM BOYS". I guess they're not bright?

I fixed my bike, it needed a new innertube. I replaced it, but my bike is still broken, and caused me to hit my knees on the frame really hard at least 5 times. T.T Poor knee. I still need to get brakes for my bike.

We went to the river, the area was nice.

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Sigh, an emo post. (i was being stupid, but i'll keep the post)
Friday. 5.18.07 9:45 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Thoughts on the nation.
Thursday. 5.17.07 8:04 pm
It's a known fact that the U.S. is a fat country. At least 30% of people over 15 are obese.

It's also a now-known fact that there are 100 million minorities in the U.S.

Granted, the population is over 300 million now, but 100 million is still close to 30 percent, I'm sure.

So, what are the other third of the nation? How much of the fat and minority groups overlap?

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They wonder
Tuesday. 5.15.07 5:03 pm
Why it is that I don't like to come home, or stay at my dad's.

They always seem to forget that her bitchiness is always either home or my dad's.

Waiting with work for me to do, but not any work that's really relevant to me, just shit she's been too "busy" (read: lazy) to do, so she waits for me to come home, and harps at me about it.

She's got months on top of months to get it done. She waits for me to come home, so she can harp at me about it. Why? I have no fucking clue. She's never always busy, most of her jobs constitute sitting and making sure people don't hurt themselves. She takes hours at a time off from her day job, to go gallivanting about town, whilst bitching 'ZOMG DON'T GO THAT WAY THEY MIGHT SEE MEE!"

Then why don't you just stay at work, and get some of your work that you "so desperately" need done finished?

She bitches that I'm always so rude/etc to her. She fails to realize that it's either because a) she won't shut up, b)she won't shut up about food, c) she won't shut up about weight, d) she won't shut up about exercise, e) she won't shut up about god, f) she won't shut up, g) she won't shut up, and h), SHE WON'T FUCKING SHUT UP!

I was in a shop, looking at a drink that I've become attached to, and normally pay 3 dollars for. The shop had it for 3.89, and in a flavor I've been wanting to try. I mention that I'd like to try the flavor, but wouldn't dare pay 3.89 for it. She then starts bitching about zomg blahblahblah, get it elsewhere, a legitimate concern, except elsewhere doesn't sell that flavor. I mention, regardless, I'd like to try it, just not for 3.89, and continue to look at it. At which point she starts seriously bitching that ZOMG IT'S FOUR DOLLARRZZZZD DON'T BUY IT GET IT ELSE WHAR!. I tell her that I'm *not* getting it for four dollars, and she accuses me of raising my voice. I walked away, because then I would have raised my voice.

We're in another shop, because they've got 3L jugs of water, 5/5 dollars. Pretty good deal, 15 cents cheaper than Wally's. I have a coupon for 3 dollars off of a tub of fiber pills, that had a 20% off sale in the store. Good idea, I have problems getting enough fiber. She instantly starts kvetching that I need to buy the "Weight Control" ones, and she's going to steal some. 1) If I want the weight control ones, I'll buy them. 2) You aren't stealing any of my fiber, clip your own coupon and buy it yourself. 3) The weight control one had sorbitol, a processed sugar. She's always telling me to stay away from "processed foods", but now she's telling me to get something that's pretty fake. "Well it's in everything" she says. I don't chew gum, and most things I buy DON'T have sorbitol. So she continues bitching that I need to get the weight loss ones, so she can steal some, and blahblahblahblahblah, the weight loss ones are better, blahblahblahblahblahblabhalh.

So I put them down and walked away. It wasn't worth it. If I want the weight control ones, then I will get them (I probably would have, if she weren't being such a god-forsaken cunt).

Of course, she "doesn't deserve this", because the way I treat her is SO horrible. Regardless of the fact that she's told me god hates me, I'm fat, god hates me, I'm fat, I'm going to hell, god hates me, and did I mention that I was fat? Oh, I'm also usually not allowed to make my own decisions, regardless of the fact that I'm 22.

I appreciate that she pays almost all of my bills, I do. But she doesn't have to be so fucking cunty about everything!

Stupid woman.

Of course, after whining that I treat her so horribly, she's giddy, because I found sea salt, and have a coupon for 90 cents off of her favorite mayo. They call me moody, because they annoy the fuck out of me, and I get grumbly, but here, Madame ZOMGURFATYOUTREATMEHORRIBLYIWASN'TEVERTHATBADTOYOUBLAHBLABHLAHBLAHLWABITCH is well within her right to change her moods at the flick of a switch.

They wonder why I hate coming home and try to stay away as much as possible.

My brother whines at me about everything, and won't ever STFU, but when I get annoyed with him and tell him to hush, I'm being "moody". He comes and whines that he doesn't know how to cook something, when there are directions on the package. THEN HE DOESN'T CLOSE THE DAMN PACKAGE, even though he hasn't used any of what's in it!

I wonder how the hell this family makes it when I'm not here. I come home, and I'm supposed to do EVERYTHING. Paint, file, cook, clean, shit that should be done regularly, but everyone seems to wait until I'm home from school so that I can do it.

On a ... sadder(? not so sadder? I don't know) note, our beloved BK-eating jowls-shaking friend has passed. I'm going to say it's the burgers every sunday at BK that did him in. I'm not sure if I should feel bad, or if I should sigh a sigh of relief that the world is less one tight-assed old white man who wants to tell me what to do.

Either way, CNN amused me: "Though paramedics tried to revive him at his office and en route to Lynchburg General Hospital, "Those very timely and very efficient and effective efforts were unsuccessful," Godwin said."

How can they be effective efforts if he died?

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