I've made a promise to myself not to eat out for dinner anymore. I spent 16.95 on sushi for dinner last night and it wasn't even worth it. I'm going to try to eat at Annenburg from now on. Their breakfast is ok,, i mean breakfast is breakfast, all the same. But their lunch and dinner sucks. Its all the same taste every freakin day. Oh well, my parents paid 16 hundred for food, so i should eat it. Their getting really pissed at my credit card withdrawals. But all they gave me was crimson cash and they don't take that everywhere. *sigh*

Practice rooms need to open earlier. I woke up early 2day so i could go practice but they don't open till 9 and thats when my section starts today. So instead, i went to get my mail and discovered that my mom has sent me my violin, but the package pickup window doesn't open till 10! AHHH!

I hate wednesdays because chem goes from 9 to 4. This really sucks, i'm just mostly writing this entry out of bordom and thats not good. What happen to all my thoughful poetic entries?!

Last night i coudlnt' sleep cause i coudn't stop thinking about somebody. And my rromate Melinda and this other girl named ally, also from 5th floor was singing sooo loud. At least they had good songs, except for an Nsync song. It seemed like they were having a blast! 10 more mins....i better go.

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Holy fuckin shit!!!! The most embarrassing thing happened to me today.....i feel like curling up and dieing now and i don't know how to show my face in class agian!

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Ahhh! I just signed into my nutang account on a harvard computer and it saved my login info so now, anybody that comes on this computer can edit my journal! I hope they do like a cleanup on their computers often. Anyways...I'm just killing some time right now...chem exam isn't till 11, and its only 10:00. I just had the most uncomfortable breakfast ever. This guy that was sitting at the table across from me was turned around staring at me, and i didn't know what to do, so i just looked down the whole time and stared at my food. Goddamn rude people.

Its so wierd, eversince i talked to "mystery guy", everywhere i go i'm wondering, i wonder if thats him. I'm kinda enjoying the whole mysteriousness of it all. It's sorta like the movie You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. LOL...Alright, i think i'm gonna go to my extra help session....nothing else to do. (I feel so sorry for the guy sitting in front of me, he types like 3 words per minute)

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Rainy day...saturating me with thoughts...

If I were to leave tomorrow, what would be my final words to everybody? I just feel like i have some relationships with people that have not yet really reached a resolve. So many things still left to be said, but i just can't find any of the words...words all lost in the impossible trandescendence and translation of thoughts...so many shades, i can't pick the right one.

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I just found out that i might want to be a bit more careful with what i write in here, cause this site is acually google searchable!

My annoyance for my roomate is gradually escalating. Everyday, she's talking about food/weight issues, esp when we're eating, and it just makes me feel like ....blah! People should keep stuff like that more to themselves. If i were her boyfriend, i would be sooo annoyed!

Ahh, i'm getting distracted...........bbl i guess

Okay. i'm back...

I've never felt so bananish in my life (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). My asian roomate has a laptop with a chinese version of windows, listening to chinese music and raving about asian celebrities, while i have no idea what she's talking about and i am listening to Incubus, Coldplay, and Usher. She's a more extreme example, but still, i'm not yet comfortable being around asian women, which i'm really sad to say. I feel very intimidated by them. I've naturally put myself and the way i look in a different category from caucasians, so i don't compare myself to them, but now, I don't have that excuse anymore. Everyday, i'm surrounded by beautiful asian women and i can feel all my neg aspects multiplied by a 100 while my pos aspects are divided by 100. (Sorry for the math comparison) It's making my insecurities even worst. *SIGH* Arg...nobody can really relate to me so i'm just ranting on.....

I think i'm going to sleep now...

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I called in to get my ap scores, and to my complete surprise, i got a 4 on all 3. I think i was prob just right above the border of a 3 in all of them. I checked the ap site for chapel hill, and i got 8 bio credits, 3 poli sci credits, and 3 math. But hopefully, i can get 6 more math credits by taking calc bc part. Man, i really want to get college over with earlier/soon.

My roomate Rebecca is starting to hang out with us more. She had an all nighter the other day so thats why she was in her room sleeping the whole time. She told me she had lost 30 pounds in the past couple of years.

I went to the MAC(Malkin Athletic Center at Harvard) to go running and it was sooo energizing. I use to run 4 miles every other day during the summer, and i had forgotten how good running feels. It works out like all parts of the body, i can feel it, really sore. I also signed up for 10 personal training sessions. They havn't called me back about it yet. 2morrow i have a tennis lesson with Emilio, some harvard tennis pro that was sponsered by wilson, should be interesting. Too bad i can't go for the team next year, i don't get back until tryouts are completly over.

I'm so glad its friday! I think us roomies are going to the fireworks festival, the huge one that the Boston Pops Orchestra plays for at the harbour. i heard you have to like, camp out to get a good spot though. I'm gonna try and ask around if theres any part of town with a good view without having to go through all the craziness in order to be close to it. No classes on mon, but i have chem exam on tues, its all mostly math/conversions, just a lot more complicated than the high school ones.

Man, its barely 5 and my 2 of my roomies just went to get dinner. geez

i'm gonna get a nap or something and maybe just go to Annenburg for dinnah. Hey, its free.

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