2night was so much fun. We had a little unplanned, coincidental party. It all just started with my 2 roomates and Sadia congregating in my room to talk, and then we started to gravitate towards the little spot in the intersection of our rooms near the door, like always. Theres just something about that spot. Chandler then came in the door coincidentally with food and then it was just chatting and munching away. I felt like we bonded a lot, I had way too much junk food thought, but oh well, i'll just work extra hard this week to burn it off. For some reason, talking to my girlfriends doen't fulfill me as much as talking to my guy friends...idk how or why...its just a lot different. Oh well, this experience is a blast and i'm going to try to make the most out of it.

2morrow, i'm gonna wake up in the morning to get on the treadmills for an hour,then run for 45 mins before my personal training session. I got to work my butt off...haha, quite literally. But next on the agenda now is...showah!

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Oh god..i had such a terrible nightmare. I was a little kid and i got lost in the mall. This scary women kidnapped me and took me to this place where she stores all the bodies of people she's killed. Somehow, i got this note...a note i wasn't suppose to get, and i was almost caught by the lady for having it...then somehow i escaped...but she kept chasing me...i had nowhere to go....cornered....had to jump down to second floor from this balcony.....still swinging from the ledge...look up....she's staring down at me...then i don't know what happened afterwars but i ended up at what seemed like the Weld basement where the Harvard Police where. I was crying like mad, wanting my mom....then my mom appeared....but i wasn't my real life mom, it was a really tall blonde women....and somehowi went from being a kid to a baby. I was covered in the ice cream that i threwup in real life last night so she had to clean me off in a bathroom....but i wasn't a real baby, i was a detachable doll.....(starts tearing up)....then the churchbells here at Harvard woke up...for some reason, my lips are bright red, its kinda scary how red it is....ahhhh....what a terrible dream.

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i've decided to study all day 2morrow! I've also learned that people can make up loads of BS. Oh well...it all worked out as much in their favor as mine anyways.

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I've never really made a book recemendation in my life, but i would totally reccemend Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. He has a view on popular culture that i think everybody could relate and laugh about. Its everything you wanted to comment about our culture, but it never really comes out quite as good as Chuck, also the a writer for SPIN MAGAZINE, its really engaging and an fun and easy read. So yea, def. pick it up if ya get a chance.

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I'm experiencing my seemingly weekly overwhelming storm of depression and sadness. They just come at anytime and i get caught in a whirlwind of questioning...doubting... Sometimes i don't even know why i'm sad, my eyes just begin to blur until the warm tears glide down my cheek only to turn cold. It seems like everything that reaches the physical world turns cold...i want to be removed of this environment...

It sounds so cliche, but what really is the meaning of life? Why must I struggle more than ever with a question in which has no conceivable answer!

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OMG, i tried to get out of bed this morning to go jogging, but soon discovered that i coudn't even stand up without effort! Jogging? bah! My pers. trainer made me do so many squats and lunges. I can't even bend down, so i'm not sure how my session 2morrow is going to work out. AHHH, i feel like an old lady.

"I feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes, christmas is all around me, everywhere i go...." hahahaha, that was from Love Actually. Roomies are watching it right now, for like the 3rd time.

By the way, i skipped lecture 2day, i went to bfast, then was so tired i was like "i just want to go home and sleep" so thats what i did. I had sooooo many bizzare dreams, always happens when i'm really tired. I think it was the best nap i've ever had in my life, so it was well worth itI went to lab from 2 -4 tho. Alright i'm gonna go walk in the rain cuz i ate too much.

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