mood: frustrated

Man! All of my friends are really treating me like shit lately! I was talking to Jess, and she just put on her away message saying, "You're really getting on my nerves." Eversince that night that i didn't want to take her to the concert, she's just been ignoring me. I mean, how irrational is that? It's not my obligation to take n e body n e where. I don't know if thats really the reason why she's acting like this, but it sure feels like it because she's been wierd eversince it happened. If its not, why can't she just tell me whats wrong? Or another possiblilty is that she's thinking "Mae, if u really feel that way, then ur really unestimating our friendship" Blah..blah..

I havn't talked to Edith since the first day of the FL trip. She text messaged me, but thats the only time i've had a vague contact with her. i left her a message...

Now that i think of it, sometimes poeple just take me for granted...I shoudn't be feeling this way, but i can't help it that i do. You know sometimes when people say something, it never really is forgoten? ---- "Mae, you're just the driver and the supplier"

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mood: perplexed

*sigh* 2morrow i get to miss another day of school. Yay......i mean, damn. I told my dad the wrong day to get on his plane! OOPPPS! He got to the airport last night and was panicing because they cound't find his name on the computer. Turns out, his plane leaves the next night. I wasn't surprised that i had made another mistake. I swear, i can never do things that require common sense right. I tried to split 9 bucks amounst three people, and told them that each person was suppose to pay 2.50, how did i pull that # out of my ass?!

I was talking to this guy friend online today. God damit, he kept on saying how smart i was! I was like GRRRRRRR! I hate it when people do that. It makes me feel like they don't know that i actually have a life. I'm not freakin smart and uptight as people think!

Yesterday, i was at the sitting at the mall and these guyz were debating whether or not they should talk to this really gorgeous girl. They never did. So i was thinking, maybe sometimes people who are really attractive never actaully get many people that try to talk to them cuz people find them too intimidating. So guyz, don't ever think you're not good enough for someone, cause just having enough balls to approach them says more than anything else can, really! Its mostly up to the guyz to make the first move, so if they don't, obviously nothing happens.

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mood: Smitten

On Monday, i'm going to have to miss another day of school to pick my dad up from the airport. I already have way too many absences, but then agian, i don't have to go to Calculus class, which is always a plus. Haha, i shoudn't be in that class because yesterday,

I'm really sorry that these entries are so freakin hard to read. The font is tiny and too close together. So...until i find a way to fix it, you'll still have to squint and get wrinkles.

Just thinking today...is it fate that i'm going to be working with my childhood sweetheart? I mean, what are the chances of that happening? I think some higher entity is telling me that i should hook up with him agian...but for real this time. He was so close to talking to me...but my mom was right next to me so he probably thought it would be too awkward. But it just seems too good to be true. haha...Its just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you, you'd be like heaven to touch, i wanna hold you so much, at long last love has arrived, and i thank god i'm alive, you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you!

Pardon the way that I stare.
There`s nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel.
Please let me know that it`s real.
You`re just too good to be true.
Can`t take my eyes off you.


I NEED YOU BABY, and if it`s quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night.
I love you baby. Trust in me when I say OK:
Oh pretty baby, don`t let me down I pray.
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay.
And let me love you,
oh baby let me love you, oh baby...

Heeheee! I just need to do that. Wow, that felt really good! I'm just so smitten by all of this!

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mood: sick
*sigh* I'm really dreading school because its going to be awkward being around Jess and Edith. I'm going to feel bad if i hang out with one of them more than the other, and i don't want it to seem like i'm taking sides. Oh, what the hell, i just shouldn't worry and just pretend i'm ignorant. I have a feeling that Edith is going to hang with Emily like a clotheshanger (hehe, i just felt like saying something corny) and Jess is going to hang around me more, i think. She's pretty pissed that i didn't want to go to some concert tonight, but i really didn't feel like going. She said that going will make me feel better and all, but what irked me was that it seemed like she cared more about just going there, for her own fun. I'm really socially challenged and add that to feeling sick....i would probably throw up on everybody.

I took this test to determain if i have social anxiety disorder, and it came out positive. I always feel like people are judging me or talking about me. I also avoid speaking to some people for fear of embarassment. I made an appointment to see my doctor so i can get a perscription for Paxil or Zoloft.

Update on the CA moving issue...its like a 90 percent chance that i'm moving. My parents said that regarless of us buying the restaurant of not, we're still moving. They don't want to spend the rest of thier lives in a small town and isolated from their relatives and family. If we don't buy the restaurant, they want me to move to San Diego ahead of them so i can get in-state tuition and live with my brother until they move there later. Now that i've put a good amount of thought into it, i think moving will be best for me. Theres not much for me here, and theres going to be so much more oppertunities in Cali. I'll have so much more fun there cause theres actually things to do, people to see, places to go...not like boring Wilmington.

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Trying to learn how to use all these features!

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mood: Bubbly
LOL!!!! I'm so excited about this new web journal!!! You only have to be 13, not like that other shitty blurty thing that erased all of my freakin entries!

I'm so thrilled to say that I have a new love interest in my life! My mom and I went to the new Lowes Food on College Rd because i wanted to get an application and my mom needed to get some groceries too. The store was really pretty, with huge open garage sized windows that u can actually walk into. Its a gorgeious looking store. So, i went straight to the beer and wine section to pick up some Bacardi, yea! Then we walked around for about 20 minutes and went to the counter to pay for everything.

The cashier guy was pretty cute...so, i'm was just standing there until i look ahead of me and see this really cute and familiar looking guy. He was tall, with dark brown hair, and a mature, but seductive smile. "...that looks like Nick Deluca..." i thought. Then my eyes slowly lower to his nametag. It read "Nick." (bubbling with excitement!!!)

After staring at him for like 10 secs...or was it 10 secs, i'm not really sure, i look away for a couple of secs....looked back agian...and he's walking over to my register! All my groceries were already bagged, so there really wasn't n e thing for him to do. So he's just standing there at the end of the register, almost next to me. How awkward was that? He left after about 20 secs to help out this other register. (rotf being hysterical!)

I had a huge crush on Nick when we were in Mrs. Chaffins' math class together in 6th grade. He was the class clown and always made me laugh! Everytime he said something funny, i would glance back at him and smile. LOL, then one day after the bell at the end of class, he asked me out! Stupid me, I was soooo protective of myself agianst guys that would ask girls out as a joke, i said "Is this a joke?" Agh, what i meant to say totally came out wrong! He probably thought that i thought he wasn't good enough for me and thats why i asked if it was a joke. Thats not what i meant! Oh well, that was like ions ago and we were still young...but n e ways, seeing him today rekindled the innocent, girly childhood crush that i had for him.

So, i applied for a job at Lowes Food, but they said that they didn't need n e body for now. GGRRRR!!! I have a feeling he already has a GF too and that i'm only setting myself up to be hurt agian. But who cares? Until then, this is making me feel all giddy inside! I'm gonna go shopping there for now on, maybe just to get little stuff and always go through his line so he can get the hint. LOL!

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