I feel so happy today! Instead of having to wait till after class to see Steeve, we had breakfast together this morning. He looks so cute in the mornings after just waking up. I don't know what it is, his face is a little puffy and has this sorta cute rustic messy look. Hehe! I love him so much...oh yea, about last night, u may thought u won with your "i love you infinity to the infinity"...but, infinity is infinity whether it is exponentialized or not..AND...i said infinity first, so actually, i won!

The sad part is, he's going to be gone for the rest of today and won't be back till 2 on Sunday. I can't beleive that in less than a week he'll be gone. I sooo do hope that we will stay in touch and someday meet agian. I don't know if i' will ever meet someone that i will have so much chemistry with and love so much as Steeve.



Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
(Come What May)

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I can't sleep. I just got that really aweful feeling of when u realize something and it just hits you all at once. This is our last week and i feel like my heart is being suffocated and crushed, hard to breathe. Oh god... how i dread parting. Its so surreal, I know logically that day will eventually come, but i'm still in utter denial. I'm too scared of the consequences, i'm terrified of how i might waste myself out of pain and misery. I know by far that parting will be the most difficult and painful thing i will overcome in my life so far.

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I would like to make a unusual music recommendation, The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos. Its all chanting, reminiscent of Mr. Stapleton and AP Euro, great times...great times.

I also listened to the LOTR soundtrack tonite, which i haven't in way too long. Its so awesome, i'm reluctant to describe the feelings it evokes because I could never do it justice.

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I've never been so happy in my life. It's surprising, i can write all day about how i feel when i'm depressed and completly down, but i'm always at a lost for words to describe feelings of happiness. I was ready to give up totally on love, but the most special person i've met so far in my life has given me hope that it does exist and along with it, i'm experiencing the most fulfilling times of my life. I wish we would never have to part, but even if we do, the impact he has had on me is so great that the echos will remain forever deep inside my heart. I will always remember him as my most significant, my first love.

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i feel guilty...every very guilty. I've been stealing "c's" from various websites and sources!

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So...what is going on with me? So much stuff.

First of all, i'm using my dormates tiny iBook G4 because it was really breezy in my room and it flung a bottle of water on my laptop. The left shift and z x c keys don't work n e more. I called the Acer Co. and they're sending me a new one 2day. Acer is a great company, i wasn't on hold at all. The guy acted a little strange when i told him my address though.

I've been having really strange and bizzare dreams. I think its because i've been sleeping with my head near the door and facing the wall. I had this really bad dream about bodies being mutilated and woke up 4:10 in the morning panting and sweating. Then i started to tear up wishing is was with somebody. I had to close my door because it looked really scary when open and that made my room super warm. Then, later i had a dream about me getting married in my own house. It was terrible, the most ghetto wedding ever and i found out that the person i was getting married wasn't sure of himself, but i knew that he still really loved me. So..i bolted for the front door, ended up wearing my flip flops inside out and drove away somewhere. I woke up at 9:10 and was a little disapointed because steve was already at class and i didn't get a change to tell him goodluck on his midterm.

I've been putting on some wieght back. Sucks. I'm going to try and do a 3 day fast. Then maybe next time i'm gonna try 5 day. Sadia does it for religious purposes so i'm gonna go ask for some advice later. I just am not liking the feeling of being so bloated and enlarged.

Something was missing yesterday which i regret. And also, last night, i think i sneeked a "<3 ya" that i think is cute and simple enough to not be freaked out by compared to really saying the irrationally feared 3 letter words. I don't have a fear of them being said to me, but i'm terrified of saying it to other people for fear of them freaking out or putting them in a uncomfortable situation.

Oh yea. another topic: WATER, does it have TASTE?

Well, i think it does because theres never any completly pure water. The pH concentration and trace contents such as minerals make it have a taste. Sometimes, water from the water coolers have a water cooler taste.

But the most important thing is that taste isn't just determained by the tastebuds. Its also the feeling you get as it goes in your mouth like cold, warm, hot, liguidy, refreshing, satisfying. So in conclusion, WATER HAS TASTE. If water tasted like nothing, than you would be tasting water 24-7 which isn't true.

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